Husband not interested

[Fanon36]

Hi

Is it usual that husbands/partners can seem very uninterested in pregnancy?this pregnancy is Planned btw.

My husband comes to scans and midwife appointments, which I appreciate, but he doesn’t ask me about the pregnancy or how I am. When I have aches and pains, he doesn’t ask me what’s wrong or offer to make a cup of tea or make me feel any better. He sees me in pain and ignores me.
He won’t rub my back (I am desperate for this sometimes), give me a hug and certainly does not want to touch my tummy as it weirds him out. He doesn’t give me any positive words to help make me feel a bit more confident- about my appearance, the pregnancy, being a mum etc.
It’s like I disgust and annoy him constantly. I would say I’ve been fairly chilled in pregnancy and certainly trying to be careful not to annoy him. I feel like he’s the one acting hormonal!

He also won’t come to a one off antenatal class (a morning session) because it clashes with him playing rugby. He doesn’t really seem interested in my birthing plan. He’s already a dad to an older child so this isn’t exactly new to him but his lack of enthusiasm, almost annoyance that I’m pregnant makes me feel like this experience (which should be happy and exciting) is lonely.

Am I being silly or do husbands/partners tend to be a bit more supportive? I have spoken to him but he argues with me or goes silent so I leave it

I am not sure that DH was particularly interested in my pregnancy itself. But he was 100% interested in making sure that I got what I needed while I was doing all the hard work of creating a family for us. So he absolutely would rub my back or make me a cup of tea or do any number of things designed to make my life easier. I was working long hours in a city job, with a long commute. The walk from the station to our house is less than 10 minutes.... he would come to fetch me almost every single day.

I'm sorry your DH is being such a prat. I don't actually know what to suggest. But I would ask whether you are confident that he is going to be a better and more hands on dad than he is as a partner because it's not looking good so far.

This doesn't bode well at all. I would be making sure my ducks are all in a row if I were you. The man you see now is who he is, that won't be changing.

No I don't think this is normal, sounds like there's more to it. Maybe he doesn't even know why he's behaving this way but I think you need to get to the bottom of it, if you can. He's not being indifferent, he's being unkind and a bad partner imo. I'm sorry this is your experience of pregnancy, it's hard enough without having to second guess why your partner is being off. It depends how much capacity you have for conflict right now, considering you've tried to address it and it hasn't worked.

Sorry he's not being supportive. How far along in your pregnancy are you?

Is he a bit scared of bring a father again? What is his relationship like with his other child?

There's no excuse for him being rubbish though. You need and deserve actual support.

I'm not sure if I would say my partner wasn't overly interested in the same way I was but I think as the one with the baby inside you it does dominate more of our lives.
Having said that he always made sure I was ok, made sure I'd eaten, took up the slack on house stuff. Collected and assembled/ organised all the stuff in the nursery. My DP never gave me back rubs but he was scared of hurting me.
Other then the appointments is he engaged in other ways.

No this doesn't sound normal. And ny normal i mean for a planned pregnancy and a first kid for you too.
He doesn't sound supportive and I wonder if he will be once baby is here.

What happens when you ask for back rub or a cup of tea? Which btw is totally normal to do for your partner pregnant or not!