My partner and I have been together over a year now. We’ve discussed having kids together numerous times and have always agreed we’d move out of London to do it. Reason being we both love the outdoors and wanted to raise our kids in the countryside well away from the hustle and bustle of London.
I am from Wales and have always wanted to move back home to have children. My partner has been fully aware of this and in agreement.
We are now pregnant.
And here’s where it gets tricky. His mum has just been diagnosed with cancer. We are still waiting on full prognosis however it is an incurable type. My partner now does not want to leave London.
I’ve thought about it and offered a compromise of living just outside London where he could commute to work and to see his mum and we’d also have to luxury of living in a quiet area and in a house with a garden rather than a flat. He didn’t want to compromise on this because he feels like the commute would be too long and expensive and that these outsider towns have nothing to offer.
I’m a bit lost now. I understand he’s close to his mum and doesn’t want to move too far away like Wales, but it feels odd that he doesn’t want to compromise for me. I will be without my family and raising a kid in London which I never wanted to do. I feel guilty for feeling this way because of his mums situation but can’t help but feel as though his priorities are off, and that we can find somewhere to live where he can travel to see her.
I have also posed the question of staying in London for a few years then moving out before kids go to school but this also wasn’t an option. His mum could live for another 10 years and I’m worried that I will be stuck here for the rest of my life. What if his mum passed then his dad gets ill? What’s the priority here? I’m not sure what the right thing to do is.