Struggling in first tri second time round!

[k80pie]

I think I just need a bit of encouragement...

I'm nearly nine weeks into my second pregnancy, I have a 4yr old DS...I'm 40 so not a spring chicken! I'm just finding the nausea, vomiting and tiredness so demoralising this time - and I'm feeling a bit nervous about going through the exhaustion of the baby stage again. I found motherhood quite a shock the first time (the loss of alone time, sleep deprivation, DS cried a LOT) and I've only just got up the courage to try again. This baby will definitely be our last.

Can anyone please just remind me to look at the big picture, the rewards of family life down the track, all the lovely things about having more than one child etc? I can't see the wood for the trees at the moment!

Bump?

Just responding with some solidarity! I'm on my second pregnancy at 35 and finding it so much harder than my first! I've got an 18 month old to run around after and I hardly had any symptoms with him but this time I'm only 7 weeks in and I've had constant nausea, heartburn and IBS for 3 weeks. I'm peeing on average 3 times a night so I'm pretty tired and I just don't feel like eating any food but if I don't I'll be sick 😩 currently hiding in bed feeling sorry for my self but know if don't get up and eat soon I'll have my head down the toilet.

Buuut I know in a few weeks time it should hopefully get better and then comes the fun part with a bump appearing, lots of kicks and eventually a gorgeous new member of the family. It will be worth it, you will get there! It's all temporary 😊

Also to say the early days post partum are a bit of a blur to me as my first one was premature and I was in a bit of a haze but I will be leaning on anyone I can for help this time! Your 4 year old is going to love having a brother or sister to have play with, that's the part I'm looking forward to the most! My older sister is my best friend and I hope my children have the same relationship.

Hi Sarahlouise86 - thank you so much for your messages, and your solidarity! It is everything right now!

I have the exact same symptoms as you - ugh the IBS and peeing three times a night!!! Isn't it the worst! I honestly don't remember it being this bad last time but I think it was because I didn't have the pressure of keeping things together for my son! And the eating is just ridiculous - desperately nauseous but needing to eat something VERY specific right that second. I was throwing up in the garden and my little boy followed me and said 'what are you doing, mama?' Poor child!!!

Thank you for your lovely words about future family times - just what I needed to hear

Ahh same here!! 36 and second pregnancy (15-16 weeks). My DD is just over 2. We’ve just hit a lovely point with her where she can really talk, properly communicate and do things. It’s so much fun. I feel like we just turned a massive corner. I’m terrified about restarting the clock with a second. Even the fact this one means we need more space and will have to move, daycare costs will go up etc. Last night I found myself awake remembering they can’t even hold a bottle till month 8 or something and having a complete freak out. Every now and then I have a “what have I done” moment. Even though I know we both want this and it was planned. The thing keeping me going is that my DD is so very into babies right now. She is loving and caring, and talks to the baby in the belly. It’s beyond cute, and is hopefully a sign of things to come. I keep reminding myself we’re partially doing this for her, so she can be a sibling. You’ll feel a bit better by 12-14 weeks hopefully on the physical side which will help. I think it’s hard looking 2 years in the future when things really should be more normal, but the last 2 years have really flown by for me, so I’m guessing we will all be there before I know it. It sounds like everyone goes through this fear from what I’m reading on mn though so you’re not alone

Currently up feeding my second born (now 10 months). My son was 3.5 when I was pregnant the second time around. I can't lie, it was pretty grim at times balancing out being sick and heartburn alongside being playful funtime mummy. I was always scared of going back to the newborn stage too, I'd say in some aspects it's been a bit easier than expected (I truly think the biggest shock to the system is going from 0 to 1 child). We're much more flexible with my second child in terms of her fitting in with us to some degree, because she has to bless her! And I don't worry as much about the little things that I did the first time around having now "been there, done that". My son wasn't a great sleeper, didn't start sleeping through reliably until he was 3, and the sleep deprivation of the newborn stage was (is!) bloody hard, I won't lie. But now we're 10 months in I'm starting to see the two of them playing and interacting together, which is utterly gorgeous. Headline is: The beautiful parts make up for the crap ones OP, it's all a worth it!

Thanks @madeleine85 - oh yes two is such a lovely age! Enjoy! I completely relate to the feeling of wondering why on earth we are restarting the clock. I’m trying to remember that it’s all temporary and for the greater gain one day! Even though that sleep deprivation does NOT feel temporary at the time! Thanks for your lovely message.

Thank you @mummabubs ! Loved your message. I have been hoping that the transition from 1 to 2 would be less of a shock than the transition from 0 to 1! I have no idea how I will handle the demands of two, but I guess you just do, and they just fit in! Thank you so much for reminding me it’s all worth it!!!