Raising respectful children

[springbaby22]

What advice and tips do you have for raising respectful, empathetic and kind children?

Be respectful, empathic and kind towards them. Way harder to do consistently than it sounds!

You talk to them a lot. Discuss things with them. If they tell you there's a new child at school/ someone struggling , suggest ways of trying to reach out and talk about how it must feel.
Try not to be judgemental.

@Barrawarra

Be respectful, empathic and kind towards them. Way harder to do consistently than it sounds!

Yes way harder to act this way when they act the opposite!

Yes, agreed. But try to remember that they communicate using their behaviour, they can’t always articulate things clearly verbally. I think when you are struggling with behaviour, it’s a good time to listen even more. Look for clues, try to work out what they are trying to tell you. Maybe they are upset about something and need your help to organise how they feel, maybe they are pushing boundaries and need you to be the bigger and wiser one.

@Barrawarra

Yes, agreed. But try to remember that they communicate using their behaviour, they can’t always articulate things clearly verbally. I think when you are struggling with behaviour, it’s a good time to listen even more. Look for clues, try to work out what they are trying to tell you. Maybe they are upset about something and need your help to organise how they feel, maybe they are pushing boundaries and need you to be the bigger and wiser one.

Great advice, sometimes though in the depths of the situation it is hard being the bigger person especially when they show opposite traits of what you expect of them. It hurts and feel like a failure at parenting especially as the mother we bear so much of this burden.

I presume it is easier with some children than others. Don't beat yourself up.

@blueshoes

I presume it is easier with some children than others. Don't beat yourself up.

That's very true, we have ds who's a challenge maybe it's the preteen age and dd (who has her moments) but is kind, attentive and very compassionate. If anything ds has had much more than dd.

Add pregnancy hormones and I'm a wreak!

@DeadWeightLifted

Respect whom and on what basis? Not all people should be respected, although everyone deserves politeness.

If they encounter shouty, aggressive, inconsistent or hypocritical people then do your children the favour of being taught self-respect (first) and discernment.

Important point @DeadWeightLifted

As pp said… talk a lot, about everything

1. Manners from parents matter
2. Tell them I will always love you no matter what, I may not like behaviour, or decisions but you can always come to me ( cry, shout or throw hands up in horror in private, children Screw up but those who can talk to their parent tend to find a way through)
3. Do not defend the indefensible ie allow the child to experience external consequences …not completed homework because they’ve been a tad lazy…. Consequences in school are endorsed by you … don’t be a lawnmower parent ( or run screaming to the school at all and any perceived sleight)
4. Advocate for your child, listen and if they feel aggrieved and support them to find a solution
5. Use a flat No sparingly but when No is said the child knows you mean it
6. Apologise when you are in the wrong, admit when you don’t know
7. Set boundaries around the internet, are you bringing them up or so and so on Tik Tok and their weird followers… don’t spend lots of family time with your own nose in your phone….
8. Child needs to understand they are part of a family and have responsibility like being part of tidying up after a meal, saying thanks to whoever cooked the meal, being part of a family means contributing with household tasks ( obviously age appropriate and not slavery but to know a household needs it’s occupants to play their part)

Enjoy your child and all they bring :)

Not so and so on Tik Tok

Sorry for typo

Obviously good modeling is a great start. Then also consistently following through on consequences if they are disrespectful. Basic manners are a must at all times, etc…

Just do your best and hope for the best. I have one teen DC who is an absolute delight in this area and the other one is the absolute opposite.

@Wordlewobble

Just do your best and hope for the best. I have one teen DC who is an absolute delight in this area and the other one is the absolute opposite.

Yes that's what we can do. Just sometimes worry if the best isn't good enough. How old are they?

@658Doyouknowwheremysparkis

As pp said… talk a lot, about everything

1. Manners from parents matter
2. Tell them I will always love you no matter what, I may not like behaviour, or decisions but you can always come to me ( cry, shout or throw hands up in horror in private, children Screw up but those who can talk to their parent tend to find a way through)
3. Do not defend the indefensible ie allow the child to experience external consequences …not completed homework because they’ve been a tad lazy…. Consequences in school are endorsed by you … don’t be a lawnmower parent ( or run screaming to the school at all and any perceived sleight)
4. Advocate for your child, listen and if they feel aggrieved and support them to find a solution
5. Use a flat No sparingly but when No is said the child knows you mean it
6. Apologise when you are in the wrong, admit when you don’t know
7. Set boundaries around the internet, are you bringing them up or so and so on Tik Tok and their weird followers… don’t spend lots of family time with your own nose in your phone….
8. Child needs to understand they are part of a family and have responsibility like being part of tidying up after a meal, saying thanks to whoever cooked the meal, being part of a family means contributing with household tasks ( obviously age appropriate and not slavery but to know a household needs it’s occupants to play their part)

Enjoy your child and all they bring :)

Thank you for this! Agree with everything especially the last point even though they feel done hard by. One thing I try and discourage is the sense of entitlement and ingratitude.