Positive birthing stories

[Victoriaspongecake1]

Currently 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby & have been completely chilled about giving birth however a close friend of my DP’s has given birth and for some reason it’s really started to make me panic and freak out. I’ve put it on my birthing plan that I would like all the drugs but I’m now panicking in case for whatever reason I can’t have them…

Please share your positive birthing stories to calm me down

I was induced at 41 weeks with my first and had a very positive experience. If you are considering taking drugs, my advice would be just get them as soon as you think you need them. I was waiting to ask for painkillers (didn't know what I was supposed to feel and how bad it will get) and by the time I got them, they didn't work. I also wish I asked for the epidural earlier. ( I can't compere it to natural birth as I was induced but things happened very quick and the pain was unbearable). It didn't work at first, the second time only worked on my left side so overall it took 3 hours.
You should look into the hospital policy to find out what drugs they can offer. As soon as you are in, make sure you let them know what you want so they can be prepared.

Hi op

I had a home birth. The hospitals policy was to induce at 40+12 but I didn't want to - I wanted to wait until 2 full weeks over and then reassess. I wanted a home birth as I freak in hospitals.

Anyway I went in to labour on that day anyway. It was a long labour but manageable. Breathing was the biggest thing to remember. My husband also pressed into the small of my back during contractions which felt wonderful. I had a pool which was amazing pain relief. At the end they gave me gas and air but I took one drag and handed it right back as I felt a bit dizzy. I felt in control, pain was manageable. I was very sick during transition though, and I'd been eating dried apricots/lucozade tablets and drinking lucozade sport so it was bright orange hahaha.

I got out of the pool and pushed her out and I remembered people saying it burned to have the baby come out but it... didn't really. I had no tears at all which I think was because it was a long and slow labour. The adrenaline was incredible. I felt like an absolute warrior. Could have screamed in triumph!

Why do you want ‘all the drugs’? Have you done any reading about the impact of you/ your baby going over medicated during labour?

I had an emcs after a long labour. I felt cared for and in safe hands, smiled throughout and Dh was allowed to watch. Healed well, up and about within 2hrs and needed no pain relief afterwards.

I waited with dd 1 to ask for pain relief until it got worse, I had my dd before it did! 6 hours for first and 3 hours and induced fir 2nd, had gas and air for second but nothing else. It felt different as induced but still wasnt screaming in pain level. It's an amazing feeling and so different for everyone.

Like pp I was so sick in transition both times too!
You can do this. You body is in control and honestly knows what it's doing. Ask early for pain relief if you want it as it's not immediate,you can always change your mind on anything it's your labour.

Five babies here. All spontaneous labours, no complications, no intervention, no pain relief for all but first baby (pethidine injection).

Labours between 8.5 hrs (first) and 20 minutes (second).

All beautifully straightforward, quick and natural (even the twins) 😃😃

Good luck xx

I had my little one at 38 weeks after a sweep with the midwife around 9 hours earlier.

On my paperwork I had a 6 minute active labour, no time for painkillers but it was done so quickly it didn't matter! We we're out of the house for less than 6 hours and managed to get a decent sleep before my little one woke up!

I couldn't have asked for any better to be honest!

I think you hear such horror stories and you just don’t know how bad it will be so you just freak yourself out.

I’d rather put on my birthing plan to have all the drugs so I can get through it rather than be totally unprepared and it put me off for life but you never know I may surprise myself - who knows!

Induced at 38+2 (due to GD) which was very slow.
Finally started dilating at 38+5. Strong contractions at 2.30pm, labour ward at 7pm, waters broken at 10pm dilated 2cm, had an epidural as I was so tired from the 5 day induction (best decision), slept through until 3am, fully dilated and he arrived at 4.30am.
It was so special and I would do it again in a heartbeat

My only advice would be to be prepared for things changing. I really didn't want any drugs at all with pregnancy #1 but had to be induced so had to have drugs to bring on the contractions, then as it wasn't so gradual as a natural birth and natural pain receptors hadn't kicked in I then had to have gas and air. Then with #2 it happened more quickly so no Oxytocin but he was born en caul and I didn't get to see it. I wish we had videoed the births. I wasn't keen at the time but would have liked to see it now.

@Victoriaspongecake1

I think you hear such horror stories and you just don’t know how bad it will be so you just freak yourself out.

I’d rather put on my birthing plan to have all the drugs so I can get through it rather than be totally unprepared and it put me off for life but you never know I may surprise myself - who knows!

People just looooove to tell pregnant women horror stories and I will never understand it.

I think going in with an open mind is the best idea. So if you need drugs, have them. If you don't, don't!

I think the healthiest thing is to not frame things as either good or bad. Don't fall into the trap of calling other women's experiences horror stories. I had two near identical labours and deliveries (long, intervention heavy and needing an emergency cs) but as I said already, the second was really positive. The only reason the first wasn't is because I'd told myself that only perfect and text book deliveries were good and hospitals and interventions were bad. My body didn't know what to do and I needed help. First time, I felt like a failure. Second time, I'd realised that you don't have choice on the day but you can have support, laughter, joy, smiles, celebration etc despite the details. Medical advances are miraculous and life saving. I'm very lucky to have had babies in the century I did. And having had an emcs twice - something people fear as one of the worst outcomes - I know that they can be remarkable. Fascinating, necessary and an absolute blessing if you need one.

Keep an open mind. You're likely to have a straightforward delivery as the majority do but don't tell yourself now that it has to follow a script to feel positive. Good support, good communication and able to make decisions as things progress will stand you in good stead.

Three babies, all straightforward vaginal births. A bit of gas and air with no1 and no pain relief required for 2 and 3. The first two were born at a midwife led unit where they didn't offer epidurals or caesareans anyway. I had a relaxing homebirth with no3.

Times from first contraction to birth;17 hours, 14 hours and 8 hours.

People just looooove to tell pregnant women horror stories and I will never understand it

People like to talk about the day they became parents. For some people this involves medical intervention. I think the sooner we dismantle the notion of good births and bad births, the sooner we support women to embrace their experiences rather than to feel them shameful or described as horror.

According to my taxi app, I arrived at hospital 03:19 and baby was born at 03:40. Poor taxi man is all I can say. I was climbing into his boot 😂

Baby was All breathed out with 0 pain killers (not trying to be a martyr, we just didn’t have time). It was the most amazing time. They left us in the birth centre room to get on with things, just the odd check and we got to check out when we wanted. It was the most amazing experience. You absolutely can have your positive birth! ❤️

With my first I woke at 5am with waters leaking. No contractions. Went to get checked about 3pm and was kept in. Next morning was taken to labour ward to be started and they checked and I was 5cm and hadn't felt a thing. They burst the remainder of the waters and contractions started and I was ready to push in an hour, pushed for ten mins and she was out.

Second child my waters went and forty five minutes later she was born.

Third I woke in the night with my body pushing involuntarily (never felt one contraction) rushed to hospital and gave birth.

I personally never found it anywhere near as bad as I was imagining it would be and was lucky to have really positive births.

The only thing I done was drink the raspberry leaf tea from 34 weeks. Had clary sage baths later on at the end of pregnancy and had a really positive mind set with no fear and thought so many people do it multiple times it can't be that bad. Good luck!

@ShowOfHands

People just looooove to tell pregnant women horror stories and I will never understand it

People like to talk about the day they became parents. For some people this involves medical intervention. I think the sooner we dismantle the notion of good births and bad births, the sooner we support women to embrace their experiences rather than to feel them shameful or described as horror.

I mean my experience of telling people I was pregnant was people saying (about labour) 'just you wait, it's AWFUL'

I was expecting labour to be a near death experience. Consequently didn't even realise I was in labour until I was well established. I was 7cm dilated before I asked for pain relief.

Everyone is different and that was my story. Doesn't mean I'm stronger or more powerful than someone who needed an epidural.

Also just because something is on your birth plan doesn't mean you have to have it. Likewise just because you haven't put it on your birth plan doesn't mean it's no longer an option. Just approach the birth as a new experience and ask for what you need at the time.

Look forward to hearing your birth story after the event.

thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/digital-pack

Buy this, you've got time to watch all the videos. It's excellent and really interesting. I think the main thing that helped me was understanding what is happening in my body when I was in labour. The way contractions are actually the muscles around the uterus pulling up in preparation for then pushing out. It's fascinating stuff. Keeping active during labour, whether that's walking, sitting on a gym ball, or at the very least not lying flat on your back in a bed is important and so helpful.

My first labour started at 3am with my waters breaking. Contractions started around 11am. I pottered around at home, walking up and down the stairs, until around 4pm when we went to hospital. Got there to find I was fully dilated and baby was born at 5:10pm.

Second baby I knew from even before I was pregnant I wanted a homebirth. In the end my waters popped at 7pm, I spent a few hours bouncing on my gym ball and she was born at 2am on my sofa. Midwives came, and we were left alone by 5:30, just in time for my eldest to wake up as she'd slept through it all.

Also, tens machines are great. You can usually hire them from the maternity ward or even places like Boots. I had no pain relief in either of my labours except using a tens. The important thing is to get it on when you're in early labour as it needs time for the endorphins to build up.

Definitely look into the Positive Birth Company digital pack though. The most important thing about going into childbirth is a positive mind set and will help no end. Good luck!

I think it depends how long your labours are as to how easy it is to cope with the pain. The first 6 hours is ok with positioning, hot water bottle, tens, next 6 hours need a bit more and so on. My first labour was very long, and ended in an emcs because nothing was really happening and I was exhausted. So I worked through all the pain options offered and had an epidural in the end.
No 2 was a much more manageable 18 hours (12 in hospital) so pethedine was as far as I got.
Almost everyone I know had labours less than 10 hours with their first Without complications. I know a few who had a planned cs and there was a baby boom locally when my first was born.
Those of us who have a difficult time talk about. My first labour still plays on my mind whereas my second doesn’t.

The positive birth movement are better - have remained women focused above the noise of the gender ideology chest feeding crowd.

I'd say do your research so you know when you agree to anything, what might have to come next versus what choices you might have if you decline. This is especially important with certain interventions and drugs and you can't stop the train once it's started.

I had a positive experience overall and I say this with a second degree tear. In the shower after my very quick spontaneous labour (a few hours) I was saying I could do that again and the morning after I thought yep it wasn't just the gas and air talking

My second dd I was 42 weeks and it was sils wedding day. It had been a grief not knowing wether I would be there with a baby or pregnant but I'd made it to the big day. My plan was get through the wedding then it doesn't matter when I give birth. (I was booked to be induced 2 days later) well you can guess what happened contractions started mid morning, wedding was at 2pm and dd was a bridesmaid. My first labour was quite long so I was like this is fine I'll get through church and meal then go to hospital after that. It will be fine. I made it to the church but contractions were every few minutes and getting quite painful. We watched sil get married then whilst they were signing the register we let mil know we had to leave, said bye to dd and off we went. The hospital conveniently was on the same road as the church. It would have been a ten minute walk so we took the car. Arrived at the hospital signed in and went up to labour ward. 12 minutes after we arrived I gave birth! Good job we chose not to walk!

I would say my pain threshold is quite low. For me labour pain was bearable if it didn't last too long. Dd1 labour was about 15 hours and I had gas n air, pethidine and an epidural. Gas n air takes the edge off. Pethidine made me fall asleep. The epidural meant I was no longer in pain. Dd2 it's hard to know but I guess I was in labour about 2 hours, no pain relief. Ds I was in labour about 3 hours I managed just gas and air.

My advice would be , be open to drugs and then see how you feel. In my experience the contractions were the hard part, birth itself not too bad. But everyone's experience is different. What you have ti focus on is in the end you will have your baby. It's normal to be apprehensive but be realistic, be kind to yourself and make sure you have a supportive birthing partner and listen to your midwife.

I had a textbook water birth with gas and air. I did the positive birth company digital hypnobirthing course and it made me feel a lot calmer and knowledgeable about birth.

Amongst other books my friend lent me just before I had my first birthday was one called Spiritual Midwifery. This was 30 years ago and it was an old publication then BUT it took away all the layers of negative connotations I'd assimilated through living in the UK & the culture surrounding childbirth since I was born in the 1960s. It is a natural process, achieved by millions of women every day. I had 4 vaginal deliveries, with TENS as my only pain relief & now have 4 young men DSs. I think the ethos of positivity the Spiritual Midwifery instilled in me helped. As an example, contractions are called "rushes". I can't recommend it highly enough.

First gave birth! Not birthday, that would be ridiculous