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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after loss…feeling lost

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Rrrob · 09/03/2022 16:57

17 weeks with third pregnancy and I feel so alone. Dd was born in 2017 with an extremely rare genetic condition that was undiagnosed during pregnancy. She died just over a year later.

DTs were born nearly 2 years ago. I had the most fantastic consultant who I saw v regularly. Partly due to concerns with one twin, and partly to check for any signs of dd1’s condition. It’s so rare it’s still not officially diagnosed so can’t be tested for. I had an mri plus 3 fetal cardiac scans, along with probably 10 consultant scans. I also had support from the mental health midwife and the nicu counsellor.

Fast forward to now. 17 weeks with surprise baby no4 and I am very anxious. I’ve had a 12 week scan and midwife appt. I was due to have a dr appt 2 weeks ago but couldn’t go (couldn’t take DTs) and despite calling 15 times, couldn’t get through to cancel.

Because I didn’t cancel, they have listed me as a no show. Despite explaining this at my midwife appt on Monday, they have rebooked the dr appt in 7 weeks time. I feel distraught. I hate to say it but by that point I won’t be able to terminate if the baby has dd1’s condition. I know that’s an awful thing to say, but I can’t go through watching another baby die. It very nearly broke me. I have no phone number for the midwives, the appointments line rings out and they don’t reply to emails.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here but I feel abandoned. Anyone else going through a similar situation? What extra appts are you having? Maybe I am being unreasonable expecting to see someone at all.

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