Does anyone else feel like they just don't want to tell anyone?

[GlitteryGreen]

Just wondering if anyone feels similar to me?

I 3 close friends very early on, but no one else. I had my 12 week scan & bloods yesterday so when the results come in DP is ready to start telling everyone straight away....whereas I feel like I've enjoyed everyone not knowing and not going on about it all the time.

We don't really have much choice but to tell his family soon as we're going away with them next month and it involves things I won't be able to join in with so no way to hide it. I will tell my family too as I know my mum will be delighted and so will my sister (though I expect grief for not telling her sooner ).

But I just feel like outside of that I don't have any excitement or eagerness to tell anybody? I don't think I'm going to mention to friends for a while, I just don't want all the questions and interest. Would rather continue as normal for as long as possible.

I remember a friend who had a baby last year saying she couldn't wait to tell everyone and had been imagining how it would be to be able to tell people she was pregnant, I just don't feel like that at all, even though it's my first.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I am currently expecting DC3 and we haven't told anyone yet except 2 close friends. We haven't even told our older DC's yet as we want to wait for our first scan which is this week.

I also have the dread of telling people, even our family. We have mentioned we would like another but have left it at that, I'm also nervous to tell work as it's been a difficult few years and I feel like I'm almost leaving them in the lurch.

I'm not sure why I don't want to tell anyone but I definitely relate to your point of lack of questioning. Hopefully we will both start getting more excited about telling people soon!!

Good luck with your pregnancy

Glad I'm not alone @TheHopefulMum!

The few friends I've told have been because I know they are the kind of laid back people that won't just constantly chat about it so while it's nice to have them to talk to, I can also just be normal with them too.

On the one hand I feel really glad to tell my mum because she will be soooo happy, but on the other I know that once our families know it will be the only topic of conversation. I quite like it being just between us and if possible I'd probably keep it that way until I had no choice but to share.

I also feel quite awkward about telling my parents and sister, even though I am 33 and live with DP 😂 I think part of it is because we're not married, not because they will be bothered about that but because they just won't be expecting it from us, it will be a total bolt from the blue.

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and also don't feel excited to tell everyone- i'm not sure why really.

I ave alays thought id want to shout it form the roof tops but, i think as i have grown older i have began to value my privacy over everything else.

I can completely relate to this! We had problems in my first pregnancy and it just felt like I was on a quiz show every time I met up with people. The constant questions and messages all the time really started to get me down. Especially the messages from people who I know were only messaging because it was some drama to add to their lives. I’m now 18 weeks with my second pregnancy and I’m going to try and keep it from people as long as possible, I enjoy keeping the news to ourselves and not having the pressure of everyone knowing and being the centre of conversation 24/7. You’re not alone!

I'm nearly 16 weeks and still feel like this. We have told immediate family now, close friends and my manager - but no-one else.
I'm going to have to tell the team I manage tomorrow as I now have an obvious bump and think really - how much longer can I put it off.

I'm really happy about the baby and excited for it to arrive - but just not excited about telling people either.
I think maybe for me it's because I'm quite independent and know that I'll get offered endless advice and opinions (some of which will probably be really valuable)

@surprised12 I think the advice and opinions thing is part of it for me too, especially as I've had 3 friends have babies in the past 18 months (one had 2!) so I know there'll be loads of 'you think this is tough, wait until this happens' etc etc. But obviously will be helpful to be able to ask them questions too when the baby is actually here.

I think as well because I had an early MC in my first pregnancy I am just far more conscious that nothing is guaranteed, despite being 13 weeks now, and if something does go wrong I'd rather everyone in my life didn't know. Although I know that gets less and less possible as time goes on obviously.

Quite honestly if it were possible and up to me only I'd probably wait until about 6 months until we told our families. I don't even know why! Just feel like I like that it's just one part of my life at the moment, not all encompassing, which it will become once our families know.

I felt like this too because I didn’t want everyone constantly banging on about it. It was prolonging the inevitable because now it’s a visible “thing”, even perfect strangers I haven’t told are banging on about it. Unfortunately I am not dealing with this in a brilliant way - I have been avoiding going out so I don’t have to talk about being pregnant and babies. 6 weeks to go…

I have no advice but you aren’t the only one! Good luck!

I’m 14 weeks and no one knows yet, I’m too worried to x

17 weeks with number 3 and haven’t told either set of parents yet!

I feel this way too. Almost 12 weeks and dreading having to tell family/friends/work. I find it awkward.

I also really reallyyyy don't want to have to answer a tonne of inquisitive questions I'm trying to figure out in my head a way to tell people, but manage to avoid follow up questions. I just wish everyone had the common sense to just say "congrats" and then leave it at that. If I want you to know more information, I will offer it up. You would think this is a given, but peoples ignorance always amazes me.

I had my first baby last year.

Close family were told at 12 weeks. Friends were told after the 20 week scan. I was working at home during covid isolation so I had no need to tell anyone. I was like you OP, I didn't want to tell anyone - mostly because I was terrified of something going wrong.

I feel exactly the same! I am single, not in a relationship, the only person who knows is 1 of my best friends. I just cba with the questions and judgement. I have been working out by when I HAVE to have told people (a friend's wedding in June or a family wedding in August). This is my first pregnancy and I'm scared something is going to go wrong or I'm going to do something wrong.

Thanks everyone, glad to know I'm not alone.

Even thinking of telling everyone fills me with dread! It's not so bad with DP's family because I don't see them as much so once we tell them that should be it for a while. Whereas we see my parents every week and I am just worried they might just be so shocked they won't react immediately 😂 They'll be happy but they 100% won't be expecting it so it really will come out of the blue. Whereas I think if I was married it sort of primes them to expect the news doesn't it?

Hi I feel exactly the same! I have just had my scan I'm 13 weeks, my partner immediately started telling his friends and I just want to wait and keep it a secret a bit longer. I don't want everyone's thoughts and opinions to start flooding in. 6 months is quite a long time abs I think I'd have just liked another month or two of keeping it to myself.
We are going to start telling everyone this weekend though I'm not really wanting to talk about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Poppypip1 Yep I'm there with you. Got my scan bloods back today and all low risk so DP wanted to tell his family today as he's there for the weekend, but I said no 😂

It's funny how differently he and I feel. He is so eager to tell everyone asap, even people at work and even though it's not even his first child!

I think it must be because it's all happening within me so I'm in the spotlight until the baby comes. Don't need everyone asking how I'm doing, trying to spot a bump, quizzing me about names etc. Just leave me aloooone 😩

[quote GlitteryGreen]@Poppypip1 Yep I'm there with you. Got my scan bloods back today and all low risk so DP wanted to tell his family today as he's there for the weekend, but I said no 😂

It's funny how differently he and I feel. He is so eager to tell everyone asap, even people at work and even though it's not even his first child!

I think it must be because it's all happening within me so I'm in the spotlight until the baby comes. Don't need everyone asking how I'm doing, trying to spot a bump, quizzing me about names etc. Just leave me aloooone 😩[/quote]
Yep yep and yep! Feel exactly the same I just don't want all that attention and fuss just want to be left alone. I wish we could have kept it quiet longer but we've known since week 4 and partner has been desperate to tell everyone I kept saying I didn't feel comfortable until we'd had a scan and checked everything was ok which he understood but the minute we were out he started texting all his friends! Agh! I just wish we could have kept it quieter longer, I really don't want to tell people. I think a lot of people will be shocked and I know work aren't going to be happy because it's terrible timing so I think that's another reason I feel rubbish about telling everyone.

@Poppypip1 It's actually funny because I wasn't fussed about a couple of the people closest to me knowing before the 12 weeks, whereas my DP was a bit of a stickler for that and really didn't want to tell anyone until the scan.

I just feel so much more comfortable with just a couple of really close people knowing at the moment, so I'm able to chat about it when I want to but also just go about my normal life with everyone else. I know in particular when our parents find out it will be the main talking point going forward.

Totally with you on the shock factor as well. My friends won't be shocked but I think our parents will as we've been together several years and aren't married. My sister recently married so I think my family would be expecting it from her first.

Sorry about your work, I'm sure they'll be OK though, it's just one of those things isn't it.

We've been together 6 and aren't married either don't know if we ever will. I'm older and had my first very young I think everyone thinks "I'm done" so it's a bit of a shocker.
I do think it's one of those things when people know that they can use as a bit of small talk, but it feels so personal when it is happening to YOU. Hopefully we'll both find once everyone knows it's not as bad as we think it'll be.

Yeah we are a bit similar in that DP is a bit older than me and has 2 children already. The youngest is 8 so not super old, but old enough that his parents have given away everything babyish they had, toys etc, clearly not anticipating any further grandchildren. I have spoken to his SIL previously though and been honest when she asked me if I wanted children, so hopefully she might have fed that back to DP's parents and it might not be such a great shock.

My own family will be delighted, but I just think it will come a bit out of the blue for them at first.