7 weeks pregnant and full of fear

[Homeybee]

Where to begin!

I'm pregnant for the second time (first ended in an early mc) i wanted this pregnancy and after being told i didn't ovulate due to my weight i joined slimming world and lost 2.5 st. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant this quickly and when i went to see the midwife today i was sat with two other women. Both were in there last trimester talking about how baby is moving and they can't wait for the birth. All i could think of was 's**t i don't know if i want a baby to be moving in me. It really freaks me out. The idea of baby growing and taking over my body. I know i wanted this (no hateful comments please)

Had anyone ever felt like this. I know some women would do anything to be pregnant right now (i was one of them) i feel so guilty and can't tell anyone how i feel because everyone is so exicted everyone expect me i have a 14cm cyst in my ovary as well which was due to be removed and now it can't be due to this pregnancy and I'd waited 4 years for that op.
My head is a mess. Thank you for reading this far

It sounds to me like you are just in a bit of shock. After what you have been through in Dec and waiting for your cyst op, it's understandable you might feel a bit emotional and panicked to begin with.
Try give yourself some time for it to sink it, it's still early days.

When I found out I was expecting my first initial response was panic, then fear then excitement. Maybe see how you are in a couple of weeks and speak to your partner or close friends about how you're feeling.
As for baby movements, as your pregnancy progresses, you find them reassuring and get used to them. They start off a little flutters and build from there so they feel a very natural part of the pregnancy journey.
Hope you manage to feel more positive soon x

OP you are not alone. I felt like this as soon as I found out, and at 33 weeks I still do. I have found pregnancy extremely mentally difficult - I feel trapped, I feel like life has lost its colour and nothing is fun anymore, movements freak me out, I hate my body, I feel like an incubator without an identity…this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done from a mental health point of view. Physically I’m absolutely fine bar the usual stuff like heartburn but my mental health has really suffered. I also have tokophobia (petrified of childbirth) BUT - I have managed it. I’ve coped and I’m almost there. And I do want the baby, I just do not want to be pregnant, have hated every second of it and will never do it again. I have been supported by perinatal mental health who have been an absolute god send the whole way though, it’s through their support I’ve been approved for a c section at 39 weeks because of my tokophobia, and I am really proud of myself that I have got through something I have found so horribly difficult. I feel like I could do ANYTHING now, and I am so excited to not be pregnant any more and meet our baby. My mental health midwife says this is more common than we are led to believe and really helped me let go of the guilt I was feeling. We can be grateful to be pregnant and hate it at the same time, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

You may find it gets easier as you get over the shock. Or you may be like me! But even if you are like me there’s brilliant support out there and you CAN do it.