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Original poster

2 NICU babies and pregnant again HELP!

11 replies

Sarah3329 · 07/03/2022 18:12

I am currently mum to two children both of which were born premature and spent many weeks in neonatal units. Thankfully they are both happy, healthy and boisterous. I've just found out I'm pregnant again (completely unplanned). My partner doesn't want to continue with the pregnancy because of our history, he says he couldn't do NICU again. Whilst I completely get where he's coming from and I'm anxious about that myself, I can't help but feel I'd really regret not having the baby.
Is it worth running the risk of another NICU journey? We're so lucky and grateful both our children are now fine, would we be mad to go through it all again?
Please be kind Gin

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Original poster
Sarah3329 · 07/03/2022 18:14

I'm not sure why there's a bottle beside my original post. Please be assured I will not be partaking in any gin until I've decided what to do!!

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QweenBea · 07/03/2022 18:17

Mmm, a difficult one. I had one NICU and swore never again and lots of my fellow mums I met there only had the one, but I had another that was completely fine even though I worried the whole time. It depends on why yours were in there really. Is it something that may repeat. Or did it repeat with the second? Or were they just flukes that you had two in NICU??

((Hugs))

Llamapolice · 07/03/2022 18:27

As a NICU mum myself it's not so much the NICU journey itself that would put me off (it's v tough but you've survived it twice!), it's the increased risk of having a child with disabilities and the lifelong effects on your family (and the baby) of that. With two older children to consider I wouldn't risk it in your position BUT that's obviously where it comes down to personal decision, how you feel about taking that risk and how you'd cope if your child had additional needs. Can you get more info about the risks before making a decision? Can anything be done to reduce the risk of prematurity this time round?

Original poster
Sarah3329 · 07/03/2022 18:31

@QweenBea the situation with my second was a carbon copy of my first so that makes me think its less fluke and just the way my body works (or doesn't in this case)! I've spoken with a midwife already and she's said they would want to put a cervical stitch in this time but there's no guarantee it will work :/

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Original poster
Sarah3329 · 07/03/2022 18:35

@Llamapolice yeah you make a really valid point, definitely something I need to consider. The midwife has said about getting a cervical stitch but even this would be a lot to put myself through.
I wish I could have someone make the decision for me but I know that that's not how the world works!

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DingDongtheWitchisDrunk · 07/03/2022 20:49

I haven't been through the NICU journey with my own kids so I apologise if I speak out of turn (although I was a baby in NICU, and have no lasting issues).

My friend had a cervical stitch and was on bed rest for most of her pregnancy. Would bed rest be an option for you? Maybe not feasible with. 2 kids already...?

Nikki037297 · 07/03/2022 20:56

One of my children were NICU then PICU and it was for different reasons but it was the darkest time of my life and I swore I could never ever do that again so if I was to find out that my baby (I’m 10Weeks almost) had the same condition I couldn’t continue because there is no way I could put myself through that or my baby watching all the machines the constant beeping being poked and prodded all of the time it was so draining and heart wrenching I just couldn’t.

Bookaholic73 · 07/03/2022 21:00

Both of my boys were NICU babies. Personally I’d never do it again, and would have a termination if I found myself pregnant again.

Not just for my own sanity and the health of a potential baby, but also because I don’t think it’s be fair on my existing children.

A lot of time is spent on the NICU, skin to skin, feeding, etc. it wouldn’t be fair to spend so much time away from my existing children, nor would it be fair for them to worry about their sibling.

That’s just my own opinion.

Trinxsy · 07/03/2022 21:10

I had a NICU baby (micro preemie). Hardest most gruelling time of my life. My biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant again, was that we would end up in the NICU. Then I found out we were having twins who often end up in the NICU.

I was terrified. Shaking, crying, googling abortions. But I carried on and as time goes on, I find myself more relaxed. I do think we will end up in the NICU again as they're suspecting some issues with twin 2 but the staff there are absolutely incredible and the care the babies receive is brilliant.

Youve already done it twice, you know what to expect. There is no guarantee you'll end up there again. I wouldn't let it stop you.

Trinxsy · 07/03/2022 21:12

Just to add, obviously if there is a serious medical reason that's completely different and I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn!! :)

Candysfloss · 07/03/2022 21:53

my son was born nearly 3 months early and spent 12 and a half weeks in NICU, then was in PICU 3 times over winter just gone with bronchiolitis, aggravated by his premature lungs (he has chronic lung disease)

I could never do it again. he has a sister who is only 2 and I basically spent 5 months away from her. he is the most amazing baby and I am so glad he is here but I wouldnt want to go through that again. I wouldnt want to spend that amount of time away from my two now, my mental health is shot to pieces and I suffer from PTSD as a result of his time in hospital.

it must be tricky weighing it up but I couldnt ever do it again, respect to you for experiencing it twice and coming out the other side x

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