I have been with my husband for 15 years and we have been married for 5 of them. We have a nearly 3 year old little boy who is the most perfect thing and the light of my life.
My husband does not want any more children. In his defence he has always been clear about this, and I stupidly hoped I could change his mind. We fell pregnant with my son by accident and he is an amazing dad, honestly, so good. We recently had another surprise pregnancy, which my husband reacted to terribly. He was awful to me to be honest, he said he hoped I had a miscarriage. Well, the day before my 12 week scan, I did. It was a week ago today.
The miscarriage has been awful but nothing compared to the utter hopelessness of knowing there is no chance for a rainbow baby. A baby that I so desperately want and am ready for. I don't know what to do. To be clear he absolutely will not change his mind on this. He has agreed to counselling but has also booked a vasectomy for next month. I don't know what to do. If it weren't for my son I think I'd go, but honestly if I leave him now, what are the chances of me having another baby anyway? I am 35, definitely not in a position to meet anyone to have a baby with, and otherwise I'm happy in my marriage. And my poor son, do I rip his world apart because I crave another baby?