Baby shower gifts

[SherbertLemons]

My very lovely friends have asked me what my DP and I would like them (group 4 couples) to get us for our first baby.

I said I didn't want a "traditional" baby shower but I think they are arranging a nice lunch for us all to spend some time together before baby is here. I'm really grateful and looking forward to it.

The thing is I feel a little awkward asking for anything specific that I have put on my own shopping list for baby. We have most of what we need and the only things we haven't got are some of the bigger ticket items. Even if they all club together I do not feel comfortable asking for expensive gifts from my friends whose financial situations are all different.

So what should I do? I really don't want to send them a list of the bigger things we need, it just feels so grabby.

But I know they want me to tell them what we need and there are maybe three things I could ask for but they are all over £130 so feel bad presuming that would be ok. Is that ok? Is that too much?!? Who knows, I have no idea. I'm quite a generous person when it comes to gifting but I've read enough posts on here to know everyone has different attitudes.

Perhaps I could say what we already have purchased and say anything they want to get us that we haven't already purchased would be so appreciated and let them choose something personal from them. Then I'm not saying I want X, it cost Y so that's Z each, which just feel crass to me.

Maybe I need to get behind the American baby shower spirit of the event....it just doesn't sit well with me

Any thoughts

Nappies
Baby clothes in size 3-6 months

Baby clothes in larger sizes, nappies, reusable wipes, hiking backpack?

Vouchers then you can put towards your bigger items?

Hadn't thought of a hiking backpack, that's a good idea.

I know they will want to get me a physical gift not vouchers.

We do not know the sex of the baby so clothes in bigger sizes is slightly problematic although not impossible.

We are going to try and use cloth nappies and have all of them and wipes already (I fully appreciate I may not manage it but I'm going to give it a go!)

Ask them to donate baby supplies to Ukraine instead?

My family and friends keep asking so I have done an Amazon Wish list with things that vary in price from a couple of pounds to £100+ I have shared the list so people can buy whatever they feel like they want to spend, I did it with my previous baby and went down really well, if an item is purchased off the list it changes to status of the item so nobody duplicates the item. I also didn't want to ask for certain things but am lucky enough to have people who have insisted on helping x

'Shower-type gift' is a phrase that means cheap and useful.

So perhaps things you can't have too many of, like muslins (perhaps the patterned ones that are a bit of a treat) or things that get used up, like baby toiletries and massage oils. And there are loads of lovely unisex baby clothes (especially from the scandi ranges) so I think clothes in larger sizes wouid be OK too.

@SherbertLemons if you can convince them on vouchers, get them to book you a pregnancy massage!
My friends also arranged a waitrose delivery of a weeks worth of posh ready meals for dinners that arrived just after baby's due date, it was amazing!
I appreciated it so much more than soft toys for baby that he is far to young to appreciate!

I'd maybe ask them to get one of the £130 things between them if they want to get something bigger? So they're spending about £30 each.

Then individuals can always pick up a couple of small extras if they wanted to spend more.

Try not to be specific such as " I want Bedtimes night range cot 4x".

Instead pick a few general sounding suggestions from different price ranges:

"Classic hard cover books"
"Baby clothes, up to a year"
"Vouchers for John Lewis as I'm sure in a few months time we'll be in desperate need of something I couldn't have thought of now but I'll let you know how and when we use them"

I only once asked for clothes, pyjamas when lo was 2 or 3. I got a lot of hand me downs but overall, it depends about your feelings towards clothes. For example a friend gave me a onesie - she said she couldn't dream of putting her child in it. I was so used to dressing my child in other people's visions of clothing, that I didn't mind it so much.

No hand me downs for second baby (different gender), so I was at a loss as to what to buy. Bought a few clothes a few sizes up and now realise does not suit lo personality!