Any single mums going through pregnancy?

[heasmanne]

I am just over 10 weeks and I am doing this alone with the emotional support from my dog. Is anyone else going through pregnancy as a single mum? How are you finding it? The dad (ex) says he would like to be involved but has been honestly rubbish this whole time. I also have the pressure of selling my home and finding a flat and at times can all feel a bit much x

Sorry to hear this @heasmanne. Do you live together currently? Have you got any family nearby?

@ISmellBurnings no he's living separately from me and yes I do have family and friends very nearby that have been great so far x

Hey hun,

Been kind of going through this too and had to find a new place which i moved into beginning of feb. It's emotionally hard, all of it. Sorry to hear you're going through this. X

Was meant to be the reply to @heasmanne

@Curlylocks1 thank you, sorry to hear you're experiencing this too, how far along are you now x

@heasmanne i'm 34 weeks now hun x

@Curlylocks1 how are you doing now? Do you feel better knowing baby will be here soon? I feel like I won't have time to think once the babies here lol x

@heasmanne I feel ok today and really excited for baby to come. Defo won't have time to think lol abit worried about how coparenting will work with an ex who acts like he hates me but we'll see. How are u feeling?

@Curlylocks1 my ex acts the same but I keep thinking I don't really need him if he's an idiot! Yes got so much to organise and worried about selling house in time and finding a flat but also just found out ex is now seeing someone else already 😂

This was me 18 years ago (I've survived!) - planned and long for pregnancy and dh just left at 15 weeks.
I also sold house and bought a new one (moved 7 days before I had dc). It was stressful and exhausting, I did go through a phase of thinking this is not how I planned it and feeling low (I think this was a normal reaction for someone who became a mum, moved house and a marriage break up all in 6 months). You can have your down days just seek help if they outnumber your good days.
Take each day as it comes, I quickly learnt expect nothing from dc dad and anything else was a bonus. Dcs dad turned out to be useless, has never paid cm as he gave up working and lived off girlfriend, or spent time with dc.
Just taking each day as it comes especially in the early days, good routines and organisation helped. I always repacked the changing bag as soon as I got in because if it ever got too much being in the house I could just pick it up and go for a walk. Also when babies in bed you can't just nip to the shops so always made sure I had essentials in and things like calpol.
Dc is a lovely young man now and I'm so proud at how far he's come and the obstacles he's overcome. He did ask to meet his dad when he was 15 dad did not engage and dc decided he didn't want contact it was actually really good for dc because he realised what dad was like and no longer blamed himself (the hardest thing has been never bad mouthing his dad and allowing dc to make his own mind up).
In short you will manage, you will do things differently to a two parent family and that's OK and you will have a lovely close bond with your dc.
While I was pregnant I made lists of any benefits I might be able to apply for once baby was here as its easier to research while pregnant (check the tun2us website etc as you may be able to claim even just while on maternity leave).
Also look at mother and baby groups you may be able to join.
Check out childcare options.
Basically while pregnant do everything you can to make life easier once baby arrives.
Consider if you want baby to have your name, have dads name on birth certificate, where you want to live (courts could stop you moving once baby is here).
Most of all look after yourself so you can look after baby. Best wishes.

@Clockbookbeast thank you for your message that was really helpful and made me feel hopeful x

@heasmanne I need to start telling myself that daily! U will find somewhere just do everything u can to get that house sold i'm sure u are and just start looking at loads of places regularly, manifest that move :) oh lord well that's gross n says alot about him I hope ur not feeling too rubbish bless you. I see that pregnancy can really show a different not so nice side to some of these men. Crazy how things can turn out from what we once imagined it would be like before. You've got this x

@Clockbookbeast reading your message made me feel abit better too x

@Curlylocks1 yes I am going to make it all homely and with my own decor lol. I know I starting to feel he is just a joke and just focusing on myself. I don't have high hopes for him being a dad anymore but we also did IVF and I did the whole thing basically alone I should have known the outcome of this would be. X

@heasmanne That will make you feel better. When I feel down about it all I just buy something nice for the baby or for the flat lol. The way he's behaving is a joke more fool him and it's his loss he will defo be missing out. His priorities are all over the place! Aww after all of that and he acts like this its unbelievable. Sorry you had to do it alone before u know it its ur due date and your baby will be here and all of this rubbish wont even matter and the next chapter of ur life will start❤️❤️ .. in fact in our situation it will be a whole new fresh book lol

@Curlylocks1 I can't wait xx