Huge anxiety about not being able to breastfeed...

[OhWomanOhMan]

Not due until June but my heart is set on breastfeeding. I'm incredibly anxious in case for some reason my breasts do not produce milk and therefore I won't be able to breastfeed... is this very common?

I wasn’t able to. My supply never came in, and I sought advice and help from everyone from HV, La Leche League peer supporters, BF café, NCT BF teachers, GP, midwives, paid lactation consultant etc — cause remained mysterious — and spent eight weeks trying, pumping round the clock and using a supplemental nursing system. Nothing.

It’s highly unlikely you will have the same thing happen, but if you experience difficulties, you’ll deal with them at the time. And formula is an excellent substitute should you need it. My FF baby is now a gorgeous, healthy almost-ten-year-old.

It is incredibly rare that you won't produce milk/enough milk. The vast majority of people who say that they 'didn't produce enough milk' frankly just weren't supported enough to recognise signs of adequate production, not to panic when breasts soften after initially being like boulders, weren't told that pumping is not a reflection of supply etc. There will be the occasion person (like PP above) who genuinely can't but the number is something like less than 1%.

I was told genuine unexplained low milk supply is not very common at my antenatal classes. Worrying about supply is quite common though. I know I've worried about it! It's hard not knowing (seeing) how much milk your baby is getting. The best indicators are wet and dirty nappies and of course weight gain. The best way to ensure your supply is where it should be is to feed on demand. Breastfed babies cluster feed where they have periods where they're on the breast for hours. It can seem like they're never satisfied but it's actually mother natures way of building your supply so it's best to just go with it, rather than to fight it. It can be exhausting to begin with but it does get easier and as they get a bit bigger, they feed less frequently and for shorter periods. Best of luck!

Keep in mind that a traumatic birth might mean you don't produce milk immediately. I wish I had known that. My milk didn't come in for ages and I blamed myself and fell into a real depression about it.

Also... fed is best. Nothing wrong with formula, if you decide that whatever reason you change to bottles do not beat yourself up about it. The pressure I put on myself to breastfeed and the previously mention difficult birth massive contributed to my PND.

As long as your baby is fed, it doesn't matter if they are bottle or breastfed. Don't stress out about it. The more relaxed you are, the more happier you will both be.

As the parent of 4 adult children I'd say that whether or not you breastfeed is of almost no importance whatsoever. I could give you a list of a 100 other things that should be more worrying. I was happy to breastfeed my kids and, of course, if you can then that's great but there are advantages to not breastfeeding.

The fact that you are anxious is a really shame though. I hope you find a way to feel better about it.

Good luck

My milk took a while to come in after a complicated delivery but accessing the right support around breastfeeding is the key so do your research before your birth, find out from your midwife about local groups.
You can also start colostrum harvesting from 36 weeks which could help your confidence with hand expressing.
The female body is amazing and the vast vast majority of women are capable of breastfeeding so there's no reason not to be optimistic for yourself!

No it’s not common,
My friends stop bf because she said she didn’t produce enough milk, reality was the baby was cluster feeding a lot which is normal in the beginning so she was having to feed constantly and she took that to mean she didn’t have enough milk. I bf 4 children with no problem at all. Sure some people don’t but it’s not common

I'm my experience ppl who can't breastfeed don't because of issues with latch rather than supply. Get as much support as you can with the latch but really just enjoy your new baby and don't stress as whatever happens with feeding happens.

In later pregnancy you can ask your midwife about collecting colostrum. If you've been doing that prior to the birth and you've built a good stash it is a real stress saver while waiting for milk to come in or when exhausted and baby is slow to latch (It also allows you to have a bit of sleep while your partner or nurse gives them a feed)

I had complications after delivery and was poorly which I think might have caused my milk to come in late.
I stayed 4 days in hospital and they gave my baby formula but I was still putting her on the breast day and night regularly and getting help from nurses to show me how.
My milk came in after i got home and I have had the easiest BF journey from there. After a week I had a MW visit to again check lacth and show me some comfy positions. My baby is 10months still BF and I am pregnant.
So try not to overthink it now. Educate yourself on correct latch, BF positions for you and baby, the physiology etc.. and try to remain positive. If you encounter difficulties, you can get support and will deal with them at the time.

All the best!

You can also get some nipple shileds.
And obviously if you are not able to BF, formula is equally good! And it has its advantages!

Breastfeeding is great if it works.

For now, try not to worry but educate yourself on normal newborn behaviour and breastfeeding.

Find your local breastfeeding support group, searching NCT on Facebook might give details of their group. La leche league might also have something local.

Go along before baby is here, get to know the councillor and the set up. It will help when you try to do it with baby.

Find friends who have had babies and have successfully breastfed who can help you with what is normal and what is to come.

A great book is Your Baby Week by Week. They have a bit each week about breastfeeding and what's normal and why you might want to stop. It's really easy to use as you can focus on the bit the relevant for right now.

Talk to your partner now about what support looks like for you. The main thing is that they understand that they take on ALL household chores. They can help you best by keeping you fed and watered, take baby for cuddles while they sleep and you either sleep or shower, they help you to get comfy on the sofa, and they don't say a word about you spending all day on the sofa with a box set and not doing the washing etc.

Finally, be kind to yourself. The early days of breastfeeding are hard. But it gets easier and it's a wonderful thing to do.

I second your Baby week by week book!
Was si helpful the first few months!

Also don't worry about not getting colostrum before birth. I couldn't get a single drop before my first but BF successfully for nearly 2 years.

I could get colostrum before my second but I think I never stopped making milk really (have stopped BFing since October and can still squeeze a bit out now!)

It's very rare for breasts not to be able to produce enough milk so it's unlikely. I think the estimates were around 1 percent of mothers. It's more common for issues to occur due to rubbish advice/lack of understanding, traumatic births/latch issues. SWA a

What I would do is try and educate yourself about breastfeeding and how it works in advance - I think La Leche League do a zoom session for example and you can also attend their meetings but there are others.

I highly recommend trying laid back breastfeeding and also side lying breastfeeding.

Having support also makes a big difference - i.e. a supportive partner who makes all the meals and does housework for first few weeks while you recover and try to sleep and feed. Is your partner (if you have one) onboard?

Might also be worth finding the details of local breastfeeding support in advance so you know who to call.

I understand the people saying it doesn't matter and as long as the baby is fed it's ok are trying to be supportive, but it does matter if it matters to you. Breastfeeding matters very much to some mothers.