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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

What did you do with your first when in labor with baby#2?

25 replies

SunnySideUp2020 · 24/02/2022 15:58

When your labor started what did you plan?

How did you organise childcare? Family? Friends? Did you trial before?

Did you have to be apart for a while? In hospital?

And how did it go overall?

My DD will be 17/18 months when other one is due and I need to think about this as I live abroad with no family or friends around. Closest is my brother (2hrs drive away in a neighbouring country!)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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PotatoGoblins · 24/02/2022 16:02

Had a home birth!
16 month old DC1 pottered about as normal while I laboured, then my mum took her upstairs for a nap when things ramped up. She woke up just has DC2 entered the world - may very well have been his cries that woke her!

BobbleWobble1 · 24/02/2022 16:08

Don't have local family. Closest 3 hours away. Had a few friends on standby. Ended up giving birth on my own as both me and DH had covid. It was honestly fine. Labour was very quick compared to first time. I will mention that in my case someone coming from 2 hours away would have been too late! Stayed in hospital overnight. Although it was out of our hands due to covid, I was totally settled knowing that DS would have been totally happy at home with dad and no disruption.

Original poster

SunnySideUp2020 · 24/02/2022 16:27

@BobbleWobble1 how long was your first labor compared to second?

I think I will have to do this because she never stayed with anyone else...

@PotatoGoblins i am considering but I had pph and retained placenta and infection with my first birth and I am worried if something goes wrong again it might be a proper nightmare at home :(

OP posts:

BobbleWobble1 · 25/02/2022 08:15

@SunnySideUp2020 DS1 was 28 hours from first niggle to holding him. Not straightforward - failed epidural, forceps, PPH.

DS2 was 2 hours 40 minutes from first niggle 🙈 so much faster than expected considering this first one. Thought we had loads of time. We live about 30 minutes drive from the hospital. Was only in the delivery room 12 minutes before DS2 arrived. If we hadn't had covid and had dropped DS at a friend's, I'm certain DS2 would have been born in the hospital car park....

snowdropsanddaffodils · 25/02/2022 08:21

I had my twins alone during lockdown as no one could get here to watch DD in time so DH had to stay with her

Original poster

SunnySideUp2020 · 25/02/2022 09:20

@BobbleWobble1 oh woow that is an express birth indeed!!!!
I am worried my second birth will be fast as well 😅 first one started with waters breaking and 6hrs later she was out. I remember feeling the same... I have plenty of time but no!

What pain relief did you have for the second one?

@snowdropsanddaffodils was it a planned section? How did your DD react to you not being here?

OP posts:

Babdoc · 25/02/2022 09:37

MIL and PIL came to stay a few days before my due date, which was Christmas Eve, many years ago. They looked after 16 month old DD while DH and I went to hospital.
Our baby nearly died at birth and required a week in intensive care, initially ventilated and convulsing, so the PILs stayed all week to allow DH and I to visit her in hospital. They lived 250 miles away, so it was v good of them - we’d have struggled without them.

Jellycatrabbit · 25/02/2022 09:44

MIL looked after dc1 with no trial run - he'd never slept over at hers before but knows her well. We also had some close friends who live 30 mins away on standby.

In terms of timing I went into hospital at 6pm and baby arrived 6 hours later. Dh went more or less straight home so he was there for dc1 in the morning.

If dc1 is at nursery make sure nursery and anyone who might collect all know the score as our nursery won't release to anyone but parents without prior arrangement! If labour had started 2 hours earlier we would have needed to get friends to collect.

IDontDrinkTea · 25/02/2022 09:46

DH stayed home with her, I went in for my induction alone. It was totally fine and I’d do the same if we ever had a third

JustWonderingIfYou · 25/02/2022 09:47

Had a home birth so DS could keep his routine and we didn't have to worry about shipping him off somewhere.

He got lots of snacks and screen time upstairs and then came down to meet his sister.

DoubleChinWoes2 · 25/02/2022 09:47

I had a home birth for my second and the first was 17 months. My MiL was due over to look after her but as it worked out, the second came within two hours and the first slept through the entire thing. MIL turned up seconds after he was born.

Twizbe · 25/02/2022 09:52

My first was 6 hours and second was 3 hours.

We had in laws living a few mins away so they came to be with our son and our neighbour was on standby to watch him if we needed. I had a lovely birth with my second. Got to hospital at 4am, she was born at 5:30am and I was home by 11am. I'd have never had a c section because I just didn't need one and recovery was so quick from the birth I had.

In your position I'd see if any family can come for a couple of weeks around due date so they are with you. Perhaps both sides could do 2 weeks so you're covered for 4 weeks.

Then ask around friends. You must have some. Other parents from your eldest's childcare, neighbours etc. in my experience other parents around you will always be happy to help with this. We all know how scary it can be and want to help.

You can then do some introduction sessions with people who offer to help. Go to the park together etc.

Alternatively you can see what childminder options are near you and find one who will do some settling sessions with your eldest and will be on call for delivery.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 25/02/2022 09:56

Had a home birth. Initial plan was for my mum to look after her at my home (DH was abroad) but neighbour offered at last minute so my mum was with me for the birth instead. She came home when DD2 was an hour old.

Original poster

SunnySideUp2020 · 25/02/2022 10:05

@Twizbe thanks for all the suggestions.

So we just moved to this new country. And before that we also had moved to a new country when I became pregnant.
So since march 2020 this is the 3rd country I live in... unfortunately my friends are a bit all over Europe.
My side of family is on the other hemisphere and my mum doesn't like kids so can't ask her to help.

My DH s mum is out best bet. She loves DD and DD loves her. She is a 2.5hrs flight away so I think we might ask her to come around due date and try to wfh here and take some holiday.

Not sure about childcare yet as I am struggling to find a space in nursery. But when she starts I will definitely be looking at options, other parents, recommended childminders maybe make some new mum friends etc...

Just so much uncertainty for now... good that I have a while to plan!!! It does worry me though. But worst case I will give birth alone and that's it!

OP posts:

thesugarbumfairy · 25/02/2022 10:05

Our DS1 was 2 and I arranged with one of the staff at his nursery (who lived nearby) that we bring him to her and she could take him with her to work as we don't have family nearby.
It worked out pretty well as I had to be admitted to hospital the evening before I had DS2 (for another reason) and went into labour at 6am. DH was able to drop DS1 off with her then come to the hospital. DS2 arrived at 10.30am

BillyAndTheSillies · 25/02/2022 10:08

We'd planned to share care of DS1 between grandparents. Unfortunately I went in to labour at 37 weeks - when both sets of grandparents were on holiday!

We called godparents and siblings and it all worked out fine. My parents drove home to London from Scotland overnight so they could have DS1. My labours are always long and drawn out so we knew we might need childcare for a few days.

Nikki037297 · 25/02/2022 10:29

I left her at a relatives house for the time I was In hospital. I felt safe knowing she was there and I could relax more at the hospital. She had only just had her first birthday too so was only a baby herself

Bin85 · 25/02/2022 11:54

DC2 was premature so DC1 was taken by a friend and neighbour with toddler of same age.
They shared a cot.
DC3 was induced so DC1 and 2 were collected from nursery and school by two different friends and kept until DH could collect and bring to visit.

Cultivate your friends!!

Strokethefurrywall · 25/02/2022 12:11

I went into labour at night with DS2, so our friend who lived in the same complex as us came and slept on our couch whilst I delivered.
DS1 was a good sleeper though so didn’t wake up (he was 2 1/2).
DS2 arrived at 6am which was great timing so DH left about half hour after he was born to be there when DS1 woke at 7am and dropped him at preschool.

I think I’d call in all favors if I were in a new country with minimal support network. I live overseas as well but had a lot of friends who would look after DS1 if we needed.

snowdropsanddaffodils · 25/02/2022 15:57

@SunnySideUp2020

No it wasn't a planned c section and ended up being an emergency - initially my waters broke so we thought maybe there would be time for someone to travel the 2 hours to watch DD (lockdown and schools closed etc) but in the end became life threatening for the 3 of us

My DD was 4 - she understood that me and the babies were poorly - we had prepared her in advance for me being away for at least 2 nights by talking about her being a "big" girl and that the babies needing mummy etc. i did come home after 2 nights but the babies stayed in NICU for another 3 weeks

BobbleWobble1 · 26/02/2022 15:31

@SunnySideUp2020 if things were quick last time, I'd be prepared for it to be quicker second time. I had gas and air only. Everything felt so much more manageable as I wasn't exhausted and had a proper sleep the night before.

wearewizardsofoz · 26/02/2022 15:32

Home birth. Plan was eldest would you with my mum/sister but in the end I had second in the night so eldest was just in bed and woke up to a baby sister!

nocoolnamesleft · 26/02/2022 15:42

If planning for a home birth, remember that you need a plan for what happens with your child if you need an emergency transfer to hospital.

3teens2cats · 26/02/2022 15:42

Our parents each time as local. They came to us as both times it was very late/the middle of the night that i went in. They brought sleeping bags with them and slept on top of our bedding. When 3rd was born dh was able to get back home before they woke up the next morning. He was able to bring them up to the hospital to meet their new brother and we all went home together an hour or so later. When 2nd was born dh left to take over with eldest child a few hours after the birth and then they both came back when i was ready to go home later in the day. As you can see i was fortunate enough to be in hospital for less than a 24 hours for both 2nd and 3rd deliveries.

longtompot · 27/02/2022 15:40

My parents came over at midnight and decided to have a good chat whilst I was having very strong contractions. Ds was born just over hour later!

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