Suprised at lack of info at first midwife app

[Trudie23]

It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions since I found out I was pregnant. Anxiety levels have been through the roof. I went to my first midwife app last week and was expecting more info than I was given. I was handed the midwifery notes folder and asked to fill it out and the midwife herself asked me a few questions which she typed into the computer, then did my bloods.

Call me naive but as this is my first pregnancy I was expecting more of an explanation around when scans etc would be/when my next app would be/who to call if I had questions etc. the whole app felt very rushed.

Looking through my folder it asks about birth plans etc, again I assumed this would be discussed with me at some point?

Antenatal classes? Are they free? Do they need to be booked/found myself and how do I go about that?

Granted I should’ve asked these questions but I was more focused on giving the midwife a detailed description of family history risk factors that are hereditary.

I looked and my next app seems to be booked for 17 weeks (I am now 8) but with a different midwife at a different clinic. Again, naively I assumed you ‘stayed with the same midwife’.

I’m just mega confused by this whole thing.

Birthplan isn’t really discussed till 34-36 weeks.
As you’ve booked in you’ll receive your appointments for your dating scan and your anomaly scan. Antenatal classes were offered after 16 weeks but I know a lot are online now.
Each trust does appointments a diff way.
Could always call and ask but I felt they weren’t really involved until after 20 weeks

Ah yes I think I felt like this too. It felt very routine (which of course it is for midwives) whereas it's this huge moment for you.

In my trust the booking in was done by any one of a team of midwives but each subsequent antenatal appt was with the same named midwife - be warned though that postnatal appointments don't work like that, I had a different one for each appointment after having the baby. And of course the actual birth will be someone else too.

Hospital antenatal classes will vary so you'll have to ask for your specific hospital but also worth looking at NCT or Daisy Birthing.

Birth plans will be much later although you can start thinking about your preferences. The midwives won't ask you until much further along and things can change eg breech baby etc.

I would manage your expectations now. I haven't found my midwife to be particularly hands on at all.
She expected me to read through all the info on the NHS website relating to pregnancy & care and then ask if I have any questions.
Not unusual to see a different midwife through your pregnancy.
Your scan appointments will probably be organised directly by the hospital so you should get a letter with the details.
My birth plan wasn't brought up until week 37, (8 weeks is very early to be worrying about it though!!) midwife again told me to look online, write it & she'd look at at the next appointment - she literally just looked at it, no comments or anything - though that might be as it wasn't 'missing' anything & was therefore 'fine' - it's all personal choice unless you have specific medical issues that need to be taken into consideration.
Antenatal classes - ask you midwife what the situation is in your area. Mine said they weren't starting again in our area until 'the new year' which I felt was too close to my due date, she recommended NCT, but I ended up cancelling after a few sessions and getting a refund.
Best thing to do now is to read the NHS website so you're better informed & then ask questions at your next midwife appointment about anything you're not sure about.
The procedures do differ between areas so people online can't be too helpful as our experiences might not be normal for your area.
I agree that especially being pregnant for the first time everything can feel very overwhelming and new but they really don't have the time to walk you through everything & won't volunteer basic information because they do expect you to at least read up on the NHS website as a start point.

Booking in appt is a form filling exercise and to ascertain if there are any issues the midwifery team need to be aware of immediately.

The information comes a lot later.

This gives a broad outline of what to expect - www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/your-antenatal-care/

The information will come, you'll get more after your 12 week scan as you get further along into the pregnancy- unfortunately there isn't a lot of information to give at the beginning other than take prenatal vitamins and eat as best as you can- morning sickness permitting!

In a harsh reality its mainly because there isn't a huge amount they can do before a certain stage, once you get past 16 weeks they will listen in with a doppler so you can hear babies heartbeat but before that it's just look after yourself really, congratulations though! :)

I had the opposite, loads of information, was a tad overwhelming. I get the same midwife for all my appointments. It seems to vary a lot depending on your hospital.

How would you have any idea about how or where you'd like to give birth at 8 weeks? With my first child I didn't even know I was pregnant at that point.

They tend to spoon feed you info throughout the pregnancy and they have different topics to discuss at different appointments. Sounds like she could have done a better job of letting you know what to expect in this regard. Might be a good idea to jot down some questions next time ahead of the appt for peace of mind!

The booking in is just to fill in the forms, scans are booked generally directly by the hospital, at my trust it's a letter. The midwife could have mentioned how it's booked (or said something like 'you'll get a letter with a date for your scan') but other than that there isn't much else to be done at 8 weeks.

Birth plans or anything else about later pregnancy stages like ante natal classes doesn't come until much later, but all of information is available online for you. If you go to your trusts website there should be info on appointments, when they are and what to expect at them.

I would expect them to discuss vitamins and what you can't eat. You're only 8 weeks though, I wouldn't expect them to discuss birthing plans or antenatal classes at this point!
In terms of who to contact if you have questions; you write the questions down and ask them at your next appointment.
I agree with a PP, you need to lower your expectations regarding what you will get from these appointments. Especially your 16 week appointment, things don't get more interesting really until after your 20 week scan. A lot of trusts don't listen to the heartbeat any longer until 24 weeks so don't expect them to use the Doppler at your next appointment, if they do then it's a bonus.

Yeah I felt like this. When you're completely clueless, first in your social circle to have a baby etc you need someone to sit you down and explain everything properly.
I fell pregnant by accident so when they asked me how far along I was I couldn't answer! My test has said 5+ weeks (I hadn't realised that was the highest it went) so I went for my 12 weeks scan and they guessed that DS was closer to 18/19 weeks. They started panicking as there were checks they couldn't do past the 15 week mark and I just kept having to explain that I had said I had no idea how far along I was if anyone had listened to me.

I agree with you! I had my booking in appointment at about 10 weeks and naively expected to come out with loads of leaflets and information as it’s my first pregnancy and I’ve no idea about any of it. I’m 17, nearly 18 weeks now and I’ve found I’m just having to find out all the info myself. My midwife mentioned antenatal classes at my 16 week appointment but said they are still online and sent me the videos but I’m unsure when everything else gets discussed. I’ve just been going to my appointments with all my questions and slowly but surely getting my head around it all 😅 I’ve found my due date group on here really helpful for questions as we are all experiencing the same thing around the same time.

You need to relax a little it was your first appointment. Also you can make a list and ask questions and your midwife can tell you how to find information, give you leaflets

Btw, the NHS website is fantastic. Have a snoop around and read the pages about pregnancy, birth and newborn.

It's the age of internet, YOU need to do some research 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had the Pregnancy+ app. Is very good

Oh btw! I read birth plans online to find out about ALL the options surrounding labour and whatnot I would then type, say, vitamin K drops and see what the best apps had to say

Tip: don't call it "birth plan" 🤦🏻‍♀️ you can't plan it. Call it "birth preferences", the wording makes you think about it differently it's good to learn, know all the options and procedures (so you understand when the doctors and midwives talk to you), and have an idea but be flexible as well

I remember that feeling with my first. But you need to take the 'booking in appointment' thing to quite literally Its basically an appointment for you to book yourself onto the midwifery service, and the rest comes later at the appropriate times.

Really depends on the trust/midwife but agree with PP

I found the book how to grow a baby and push it out by Clemmie Hooper really helpful. She's a mum of four (I think!) and an ex midwife so the book is aligned to the schedule of midwife appts/scans etc

This has been my experience throughout unfortunately. I'm 41+2 days today and so far my midwife has discussed next to nothing with me unless I really persist with questions, and even then the info is minimal. I have been really surprised at how on your own you are and have found much more help from the NCT class I attended. Advice I've had from them and others is that the home birth team give much more oversight/attention and you can change your mind at any point if you then decide not to do a home birth so worth considering that as an option.