Finding out the sex of your baby - Did you regret it ? Did it make the birth seem different ?

[FoghornLeghorn]

I know this has been done before but I wanted to ask and can't be bothered to trawl !

We have 2 DD's and are expecting DC3 in August. I am really torn between finding out what we are having or just leaving it until the birth. With our 2 DD's I absolutely loved DH telling me what we had but am thinking this time it might be good to know in advance. My thoughts are :

We could prepare DD1 (DD2 too young to realise) for whether she will be having a brother or sister (When we had DD2 she asked for ages where the boy baby was !)
If we are having a boy it may be handy to know in advance, what with having 2 girls we have nothing suitable for a boy (obv would get new things in either instance but would have lots more to buy with a boy).
If it's a girl DH could get his head around it, as although he says he would happy with either, I know that after 2 DD's he is secretly hoping for a DS.

BUT ...... equally I don't want to regret the decision and I don't want it to take away from the excitement by already knowing what we are having (although I doubt this would happen)

What do you think ?

We found out in advance both times, and never regretted it. It helped dh and I to bond with the dds before they were born and we loved being able to call them by name while they were still inside me. I agree with the sibling angle also; we liked being able to tell dd1 that she was going to get a little sister.

Yes we told everyone both times I don't see the point of keeping it a secret from everyone, we were delighted to be having a DD and wanted everyone else to know.

With DD2 my Mum (who's a toxic old witch at the best of times) said "nevermind you can always have a third" as if DD2 was a disappointment. She very for boys really. She also said that an aunt reckoned it was a boy and we were just telling everyone it was a girl - wtf?

We told everyone DD1's name but not DD2 I won't be telling anyone the name until after the baby is born, saves all the screwing up of faces and "oh I don't like that" they can't really say that if we go "the baby is called X"

Actually I don't think I will tell my Mum this time!!!

I didn't even tell DS1 and 2 she was a girl They knew I knew but I wouldn't tell [evil]

I'm going to show DH this thread when I finally get to see him on saturday and see what he says

I found out with dd-mostly because I just couldn't wait but also because I'd always had really strong feelings that my first child would be a girl, I wanted her to be a girl, and if she had been a boy I felt it was better to have a few months to come to terms with it before she was born rather than risk being disappointed after the birth.

With ds I had no preference so decided not to find out. It was nice in a way to see him in person and discover what he was but tbh we forgot for a few minutes after he was born-we were so caught up in the actual birth that neither of us thought to look at what sex he was for quite a while and it was only when I caught a glimpse of his balls that it occured to me to look

I bonded with dd during pregnancy with her and didn't at all with ds (now 3 weeks old). I'm not sure if that is because I knew the sex with dd or if it would be like this anyway. I was a lot less focussed on the pregnancy this time round and it went much faster-I was 40 weeks almost before I knew it. I think that was down to already having a toddler to look after and don't really think I would have bonded any more with ds if i had known he was a boy, but I can't say for sure. DH thinks he would have bonded more if he had known though

We found out both times (well, we think we know this time too but I'm not due for another 8 weeks). It helped us to bond with the baby and I felt weird referring to 'it' all the time. Only difference this time is that we've chosen not to tell anyone what we're having but first time round everybody knew. We haven't decided whether we should confess after the birth that we already knew but we just felt we wanted to keep this small part of pg special to us only. Our nearly 4yo doesn't know but is convinced it's a boy ( I think because she's heard us talking!)- I didn't mind her knowing but didn't think there was even a tiny chance of her not telling everybody what we're having! Family are a bit precious and don't really believe we don't know but I don't care

Personally, I was struggling with the idea that I was pregnant and so needed to know the sex to help me bond. And once the baby started moving it didn't feel right to call her 'it'. I'm 37 weeks now and although I obviously haven't gone through birth yet I can't imagine not knowing what sex she is. It's helped me come to terms with being pregnant, allowed me to regain a pinch of control over the situation and I'm now madly excited at knowing I have a daughter on the way. I don't think I'd ever have done this any other way.

Hope that helps

Sx

Found out with DD1 but remebered regretting it at the birth as I wanted that moment when you find out. So this time we havent found out. I prefer to not know and it cuts down on the 'are you disappointed comments' if it was another girl but i guess some insensitive people will just save that for after the birth. The only drawback is not knowing how to decorate the spare room as eventualy baby and DD will share and I am frantically planning colours, etc. Not been a problem with clothes as I will just buy white baby suits to start with and working out boys and girls names has been quite nice. Overall I am glad we dont know.