Pregnant and not excited.

[MPD]

I am nine weeks pregnant for the first time and very underwhelmed by bit all. It was unplanned and when we found out it didn't seem too big of a deal as I am 35, in a stable relationship (was planning to get married this year) and both of us have good jobs. However the few people I have told about it so far have been far more excited than me. At the moment I can only focus on the negative aspects, sleepless nights, lack of spontaneity, how I will cope at work with a baby to look after. I know deep down that it is probably a good thing but I don't want to be permantly knackered for the next three years. My DP has been absoultly fantasic and couldn't be more caring and considerate. This makes me feel worse as I feel as if i'm spoiling this time for him.
Am I just being incredibly selfish or has anyone else feel or felt like this?

Hi there MPD,

I was excited about being pregnant but not particularly interested. I found Mothercare on a par with DIY shops - a visit would send me to sleep in a minute. I was not maternal and that didn't change until my ds came along. I was also very driven by work and thought motherhood would take something from me. I haven't found that - it really opened up a different aspect of myself that I didn't know was there. It was beautiful!!!

I found that people talk a lot of c**p and you really shouldn't listen to them. You will find your own way.

For example my baby only woke up once in the night from 3.5 weeks and slept right through from 10.30pm to 7am from 7.5 weeks so I have never been sleep deprived. Plus I loved maternity leave - I had a dreamy life of going to coffee with friends and baby swimming and buggy fit. When your baby is young they can travel anywhere really - you can be as spontaneous as you like.
Plus if you have family near by use them to give you a break and don't succomb to mother guilt! Plus give your dp lots of time to hang out with your child - men often feel a bit wary at first and can be inclined to hand the baby back to you - don't let them - the men have to learn!!

JMMP I hope you feel more positive soon.

I'm 26+4 with my first pregnancy. For the last few years, I've been resisting the unbelievable mind-control of my ovaries! I've been aware that whilst I wasn't ready for children, etc. my body surely was.

And one day, after one of those conversations about when would be the best time, the decision was made for us!

However, immediately, my ovaries were very satisfied with themselves, and my mind went back to normal. As soon as we had a positive test result, we both laughed and thought 'omg, what have we done?!' but in a vaguely positive way.

I then went through a very anxious 3 months. I didn't (still don't) know how we'll cope, socially, emotionally and financially. I had to break the news to two colleagues who've had lots of miscarriages. I had only just signed a perm contract at work and was petrified that they could revoke it (they can't) and about how 'convenient' it all looked. At 8-10 weeks I was feeling despondent and full of regret.

I found it bizarre that I'd been so excited about my friends and colleagues pregnancies before, but was so apprehensive and 'over' mine.

I felt pretty horriffic until 18 weeks too, which didn't help.

It's only since I've felt physically better, and I've felt the baby moving, and since having the scans that I've started to get excited.

Now I'm only a week and a half from my 3rd trimester and I'm getting more excited by the day. My baby's got a real activity routine, which makes him seem more real. So now we talk to him, and I'm starting to imagine my life with him.

The positivity has crept in slowly, but it's definitely here.

Thinks have a funny way of working out, of coming together. Take care x

Soo much time has passed.
Around the time you wrote your first message, i was feeling exactly the same.
I lost that baby at 11 weeks and couldn't say whether i was as upset as i should have been.... which lead to more anxiety and self doubt.
Ive spent the last 9 years telling myself i never wanted to feel that again and have put it off right up until i just feel like im too old to put it off any longer (i am 38). I know i am pregnant...but i darent even do the test. I am so rubbish!

Anyway, my question is...did it all seem worth it in the end?