Seeing a new side to work and how I'm viewed now that I'm pregnant

[WeeTashie]

So I am 7 weeks pregnant, I have worked in my current job (small office) for about 13 years and I actually go over and above my job description. I have a great working relationship with my boss, am very close with her, however the boundaries and lines have gotten very blurred over the years and my husband does despair at the amount I do for her and the organisation at times. We are a small organisation and I do all the office admin etc and so it will be a case of bringing someone new in that will change the dynamic.
This pregnancy was not planned and given that I'm a highly anxious person, as is my husband... we've struggled to find that 'joy' at being pregnant as yet as we spend our time worrying about money, about childcare etc. I told my manager/friend upon finding out at 5 weeks, as I had some pain and had to go for an early scan. Since then she has been quite openly questionning me already about how much maternity I'll be taking. Today we met up and from start to finish I got the impression that my pregnancy is a real inconvenience to her and her plans for our office - she had hoped that in time she could step back and let me take a more manager role etc, and I got such a sense that she felt I had done this on purpose, and she was really asking whether I would want to leave completely.
I am still paying off some debts and financially I would need some work after maternity, as I wouldnt expect my husband to cover everything but I felt so put off by her questioninning and behaviour. I am already beyond stressed about being pregnant. My husband is a very anxious person who worries about work (he works full time but always stresses about losing his job) I feel so awful for being negative about it all, but I struggle to be happy about the situation and then feel awful for not being happy as many people would.
I wasn't dutybound to tell her about the pregnancy as yet, and I still have 5 weeks until my first official midwife appointment/scan but already I feel overwhelmed by decisions expected of me. I quite frankly want to just say, I won't be back after maternity but financially I need to work and so I'm stuck.
Just wanted to vent, bbut also wondered does anyone else get caught up in the worry of it all!, I feel so envious of people don't seem to overthink things, (a part time girl in my work has just announced she's 12 weeks pregnant - yet shes a single mum already, working a part time job and she has no concerns at all!, i'm working full time and my husband also and because he earns more than me I'd not be elligible for any benefits if I left work - sometimes I feel like there is no merit to working at all)

sorry I don't mean to cause offence to anyone, I know everyones circumstances are different, but i;m just overwhelmed!

Hi. Fellow overthhinker and very anxious person here too. I've had loads of early scans and I'm only just over 10 weeks.

I told my boss at 7 weeks, he was shocked and was kind of laughing. It was a shock to me too, I'm 39, overweight and have a daughter whose 21 this year but I don't need his judgment. Sadly being pregnant does mean change in the workplace in our managers eyes and I'm sure my boss was thinking what will they do when I go on leave (assuming it all works out). I'm a senior manager and do a lot of the hard work.

I'm sorry you've had this experience, but it's probably like my boss and me. You sound like an integral part of the organisation you work for and they are worried how they'll cope without you

I'm going to warn you in advance, if you are overthinking things now, that will be multiplied by a million once baby arrives. I recommend getting some professional help for this if you haven't already. I ended up with terrible post natal anxiety.

Thanks for this.. I've already given that thought and will look into some therapy I think x

Having a child has a big impact on finances and I know I definitely have been thinking about it a lot (if you are getting less money on SMP/MA and thinking of cutting hours how can you not have to consider the financial implications?!)

If I was you, I'd politely say to your manager that it would be better to schedule a time for when you are 30 weeks (earlier if you want) to discuss your maternity plans, find a date and put in the diary now. At the minute it's a lot to grasp and just say you'd hate to mislead them by saying one thing now and changing your mind by the time you officially need to tell HR.

@Carebear99

Hi. Fellow overthhinker and very anxious person here too. I've had loads of early scans and I'm only just over 10 weeks.

I told my boss at 7 weeks, he was shocked and was kind of laughing. It was a shock to me too, I'm 39, overweight and have a daughter whose 21 this year but I don't need his judgment. Sadly being pregnant does mean change in the workplace in our managers eyes and I'm sure my boss was thinking what will they do when I go on leave (assuming it all works out). I'm a senior manager and do a lot of the hard work.

I'm sorry you've had this experience, but it's probably like my boss and me. You sound like an integral part of the organisation you work for and they are worried how they'll cope without you

Yes I know what you're saying is right... She is more concerned about how she ll cope when I'm off, but it is hateful how it takes over the whole joy of being pregnant

If it's a very small company and two of you are pregnant and going off on maternity leave at similar times then she probably is stressed. It isn't your fault but her priority is the business.

I think you should seriously think about getting some professional help, otherwise, your overthinking will go into overdrive once your baby arrives. Good luck!

It’s actually against the law to ask you if you’re going back so your boss needs to be careful. You have lots of time left probably like 30 weeks before you actually go on MAT so try not to obsess too much. Have a think about how long you’d like to take off, you can obviously take a year but there will come point when you have no income either by your company or the government but you can start saving now towards your MAT when you’re off. I am due to finish work in 2.5 weeks, I have a good job and I struggled at first about going off, worrying about my job and what I’d go back to but over time I have realised work is work, there are other opportunities out there if it comes to it and ultimately this my time to put my baby, husband and myself first once.