TTC after loss.

[Rainbow1995]

I am a first time mum and I am 26. I went for an early reassurance scan at 9 weeks pregnant due to a bit of bleeding, and was told everything looked fine. When it came round to my 12 week scan me and my partner were so excited, just to be told there was a problem with our baby. Our baby had excessive fluid all inside her body. A couple of days later I had to go for testing and the specialist expected Turner syndrome, I had a CVS and the results came back that my baby girl had Turner syndrome and the hydrops in her body were so severe that her little heart can stop at any point and the fluid would cause her organs to swell and she won’t survive. So yesterday I had to make the devastating decision to start an induced miscarriage ( A medical abortion) I am 14 weeks pregnant today and have to go back to hospital tomorrow to take my second tablet and miscarry my baby girl. I know she’s a girl because Turner syndrome only affects 1 in 2500 baby girls. I have been told there is nothing wrong with me and my partner it is just an random error at conception and we did nothing to cause it and there is nothing we could have done. I feel so broken and just want a baby so badly, the only thing that is keeping me going is thinking about when I will get pregnant again, even though I am so scared something will go wrong again I have been told by the specialist it is even more rare for this same thing to happen again once it has happened once. I am scared next time I could miscarry even though my baby girl has been strong and survived up until this point without me miscarrying naturally, I don’t want her to suffer anymore. Has anyone else been through this? Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? How long did it take you to get pregnant again after a medical abortion/ induced miscarriage and did you have a healthy baby and pregnancy? I suffer with anxiety and am on medication for it so if anyone could give me some hope and advice for the future it might slightly take my pain away. 💗🌈

Hi @Rainbow1995.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through and the loss of your daughter. The pain is unique and uncontrollable at times.

Me and my partner started trying in July 2021, fell pregnant on the second month. We were so excited, paid for an early reassurance scan at 9 weeks to be told the baby had stopped growing and we were having a missed miscarriage. A week later I started to miscarry naturally, but I still had retained products and needed extra help. The medical management didn’t work for me so I needed an MVA. The whole experience was pretty traumatic and I lost a lot of blood. I’m on anticoagulants as I have a history of blood clots. I’m also 26, soon to be 27 but generally very healthy with no significant health conditions.

It took me and and my partner some time to process what had happened and we decided to wait until the new year to try again. We had a holiday in January, and came back pregnant. Unfortunately, 4 days later I started to bleed again and had a “chemical miscarriage”.

As you can imagine, every scary thought is going round my head and I’m absolutely terrified of going through it again. But I know it’s what me and my partner want and the only way to get there is to try again.

I have spent hours, days reading every blog, article and I have seen so many inspiring stories and ladies who have miscarried, once twice or several and gone on to have a very health pregnancy. No matter what time you miscarry it’s so painful and I’ve only got comfort from talking to women who have been through the same.

I have found Tommys organisation very helpful and there is a helpline. Take the time now to heal, look after yourself and your partner and know that there is NOTHING you could have done differently. We have no control over the chromosomal issues and it’s just a part of life. Although a very sad part.

Do not give up hope, I am sure one day you will get your healthy baby.

Xx