Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Baby at 41

26 replies

Lux523 · 07/02/2022 08:05

Are there any fellow 40+ Mums here?

I've just found out I'm pregnant with baby no.4 - youngest child is 8.

I'm 41, will be just turned 42 if all goes well and this baby arrives.

I'm 5ft 2, 9 stone, don't drink or smoke and feel relatively fit. This pregnancy is a beautiful surprise, I'm on the pill.

The last time I was pregnant was when I was 33 - is it so different when you're 40+??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
annlee3817 · 07/02/2022 08:26

Hi, I'm 10.4 weeks with my second, will be 41 when they are born and my DD will be 7, can't comment on what it will be like, but as pregnancy goes so far, energy levels are similar to when I was last pregnant. I have bad nausea this time which I didn't have at all last time, but at the moment no real difference :) congratulations

Original poster
Lux523 · 07/02/2022 08:45

Congratulations to you too!! =)

How are you tackling telling your daughter about the new arrival?

My oldest daughter is 14, I'm sure she's going to be totally grossed out!

OP posts:
annlee3817 · 07/02/2022 08:50

I don't know lol, can't work out if she'll be happy or not, she did want a brother or sister a few years ago, then just a sister and more recently wants to be an only so she doesn't have to share, so I'm expecting to not get the best reaction 🙈

How did you tell the oldest about the eight year old? Ah hopefully the 14 year old will only be temporarily grossed out :)

mowglika · 07/02/2022 10:14

Congratulations! My first pregnancy was at 33 and I’m pregnant with my last now at 42.. it definitely feels different to me, I’m much more tired in the evenings! And huffing and puffing now as I get around (24 weeks now) but that may just be a lack of condition. It’s different for everyone though and fingers crossed you don’t find it too different

I told my son after the 12 week scan as we’ve had previous miscarriages, and he was really happy. He’s not at the teen age though where they’re grossed out by the thought of parents reproducing Grin good luck with your daughter x

Cakecakecheese · 07/02/2022 10:35

I'm 41, I'm 13 weeks with my first.

cptartapp · 07/02/2022 10:38

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!
They're extremely wealthy though, she doesn't work and pays for cleaners, gardeners etc.
All vaginal deliveries. All well.

onedayoranother · 07/02/2022 10:43

I had mine in my 40s so can't compare it to having kids younger but it was fine. It's just that you will have kids at different stages and what entertains one lot will not the other (I had teens step kids when mine were born), and you will just be that much older when your youngest is independent enough for you to regain your self back.

Carebear99 · 07/02/2022 10:51

Hi I'm almost 40... I'm 39.

I'm unexpectedly pregnant, 21 years after my daughter was born. I'm knackered. Nausea comes and goes. I'm 9w1d at present and have convinced myself I'm going to miscarry

Original poster
Lux523 · 07/02/2022 10:57

Thank you all for your responses. So glad others get it!

I am hearing a lot of 'older mum' and 'high risk' and 'harder when you're 40+', chatter and while I know each person is different, it doesn't help build your confidence!

We can totally do this!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lux523 · 07/02/2022 10:59

If all goes well, I'll be 45/46 when the youngest starts full-time school. 65 when they're 20 odd. I can live with that, IF everything goes according to plan.

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 07/02/2022 11:01

I had a ds at 43.2. Gap of 6 years.. Oldest dc was 25!!
Ds is 7 now and well adored by his siblings!!

wingingit33 · 07/02/2022 11:28

Can't comment on the age part but I'm 36+3 with dc3. My kids are 7 and 11 and I'm terrified of the gap!

Spottydotdotty · 07/02/2022 14:41

Those of you with bigger age gaps between your children, how do you/are you planning to work bedrooms? We're expecting dc3, already have DS11 and DD8 in a 3 bed... Thinking we'll have to move but that might cause issues with current schools as 4 beds are pricey in our area so not sure what to do

Carebear99 · 07/02/2022 15:03

20 year age gap... she's left home.

That said I still don't have room, and I'll need to convert my office assuming the baby is born.

Miller2021 · 07/02/2022 16:13

Congratulations OP! I can't comment on age gaps or compare with other pregnancies/births, but I'm 41 and having my first this year (by the time it's born I'll be 42). The pregnancy is making me quite tired but I was expecting that, and other mums (of all ages) have had it far worse.

To be honest, I wouldn't have wanted to have a child before now - my circumstances are what they are, and the way life has panned out is fine. I'm looking forward to this new chapter, and have no idea how I would have coped being a younger mum - probably extremely badly. There are plenty of advantages to having kids a bit older.

MiracleBaby2022 · 07/02/2022 18:08

I'm 44 and 33 weeks pregnant with my first!

holdonbaby · 08/02/2022 09:04

I'm 41 and 7+ weeks with baby number 2.

However I have no symptoms at all and am very worried. Can't even remember if I had symptoms by now last time.

Original poster
Lux523 · 08/02/2022 09:39

It's so good to read about everyones experiences.

Is anyone thinking of an early scan?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lux523 · 08/02/2022 09:40

@all you Mums!!! Congratulations on your new arrivals.

Those that are further along, have you encountered any difficulties deciding what kind of birth to have?

OP posts:
CM40 · 08/02/2022 09:45

Firstly congratulations!

I'm 40 next month and current 19+6 with twins!!!

My other children are 15 and 8! New partner this time around so we were planning on trying and were just going to see how we got on given my age etc..twins was a shock I won't lie but getting used to it now.

I think I was in a better place/condition this time around for a number of reasons which maybe helped in falling quite well.

Definitely a little more tired this time around but not sure if thats age related or twin related.

Good luck with your pregnancy xx

BabyMoonPie · 08/02/2022 10:08

I'm 41, DD1 is 5 and DD2 is 7 weeks old. Due to high risk of downs syndrome at my 12 week screening I had NIPT which came back low risk. Being over 40 I had 3 growth scans in later pregnancy and was induced at 40 weeks due to increased risk of stillbirth. My pregnancy was very similar to my first although at 35/36 I wasn't young then! I hope everything goes well for you and baby

Confused521 · 08/02/2022 12:04

Mine was better than being pregnant at 32 (I'm 41 and just gave birth). I felt much more confident and experienced!

Carebear99 · 08/02/2022 12:37

I'm exhausted and I'm only 9 weeks. For me was much easier when I was 18 (last time I was pregnant).

I've got my private nipt booked next week at 10w1d which I'm stressing out about. I'm overweight but I've been told the IONA, which I'm using, requires less fetal fraction at only 2% compared to harmony which needs 4%

Thedailyfailx · 08/02/2022 13:59

I had my 4th at 43 after a 16 year age gap. I had a few health problems and was slightly overweight which didn't help. But I was so looked after through the pregnancy. I was the same as my other pregnancies in my twenties! No issues, sailed through. Baby arrived safe and well after being induced two weeks early due to pre eclampsia risk.

I've had a few issues recovery wise and found I've not bounced back as quick as I did in my younger years.

All in all though it's been such an amazing experience wouldn't change a thing! But the sleepless nights almost finished me off!!

annlee3817 · 09/02/2022 06:20

I had a reassurance scan at 8+2 and then had the NIPT done this week at what I thought was 10+4, but measured 11+1. Results best week 🤞