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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How common is a missed miscarriage?

21 replies

Carebear99 · 04/02/2022 10:37

So far in my pregnancy I've convinced myself it won't go well. Concerns over an ectopic, then blighted ovum now mmc. I've had a lot of scans and I'm only 8w5d due to my anxiety.

I'm obsessed I will have a mmc, I've been on the miscarriage calculator and I'm currently at about a 5% risk. The fact I'm older, 39 and I have pcos and endometriosis and I'm overweight all feed into the worry.

I know I've got no control over what will be will be but again the anxiety taking over. We've been trying on and off for 20 years, baby number 2 never happened after the first one when I was 18. This pregnancy wasn't planned but is very much wanted.

Do the miscarriage calculator include mmc? Is anyone else feeling like me?

OP posts:

HeyBlaby · 04/02/2022 10:40

I'm 32 and have a high level of anxiety that I never had with my first pregnancy. The midwife has put me as a high risk pregnancy too, which I think has turned it up a notch, but would rather have the extra input than not.

I think first 12 weeks will be the hardest (I'm 9w) but after that I will find it a little easier.

Had a scan at 7 weeks and was convinced something would be wrong!

theotherfossilsister · 04/02/2022 11:04

I'm also terrified. Pregnant with a wonderful wanted IVF baby and terrified of losing him or her. Currently eleven weeks, had a scan at ten weeks and all was ok but still frightened. A tarot reader told me I'd lose this baby, I wish I hadn't asked her. Every twinge scares me.

We have a private scan next week as my twelve week scan is so late. I see the scans like monkey bars, I'm swinging from one to the next.

thunderonlyhappenswhenits · 04/02/2022 11:43

@theotherfossilsister that's disgusting someone said that to you! How can anyone know what will happen !!

I had a mmc in November after our second frozen embryo transfer in ivf. I found out at 8 weeks after a couple of weeks of going back and forth for scans. The devastation was like nothing else. But These things can't be controlled, I'm sorry to sound blunt but this is what I'm having to tell myself.
I find myself 4.5 weeks pregnant, naturally. After 7 years ttc and all the drugs etc. I'm scared but also letting myself believe things happen for a reason, I have to embrace this pregnancy because I ruined the short time i was pregnant last time with anxiety and worrying and constant googling.
Please try and enjoy it, no amount of worrying etc will change the outcome.

theotherfossilsister · 04/02/2022 18:32

Thank you @thunderonlyhappenswhenits

I had one loss but it was a chemical pregnancy so it doesn't really count. I'm still hugely anxious though.

Roselilly36 · 04/02/2022 18:38

@theotherfossilsister

We have a private scan next week as my twelve week scan is so late. I see the scans like monkey bars, I'm swinging from one to the next.

That is appalling, I read tarot, no way would I ever give someone bad news. Put it out of your mind. Please tell me you didn’t pay for that reading. I read for me friends without charge. Good luck for your scan.

theotherfossilsister · 04/02/2022 18:43

Thank you @Roselilly36

I did actually but it was mates rate. She pulled the five of cups where three were spilt. I don't think she meant to upset me, she was so apologetic.

Another friend said that doesn't mean loss but it sticks in my mind

Luckylemonade · 04/02/2022 18:44

I’m convinced of the same too. I had an early miscarriage a few years ago and my brain is convinced that this pregnancy will end the same too.
I went for a scan last week thinking I’m 7 weeks, they saw Gas sac and Yolk sac but no embryo, but my sacs only measuring 5 weeks so now I’m convinced of a blighted ovum.

If it helps, the chances of a MMC are between 1-5% - very low! Xx

Roselilly36 · 04/02/2022 19:00

@theotherfossilsister

Thank you *@Roselilly36*

I did actually but it was mates rate. She pulled the five of cups where three were spilt. I don't think she meant to upset me, she was so apologetic.

Another friend said that doesn't mean loss but it sticks in my mind

Five of cups is not related specifically to pregnancy, I am sure all will be well. X

Original poster

Carebear99 · 04/02/2022 19:12

That tarot reader is a nasty piece of work. Who the hell would say such a nasty thing, and she charged you for that?

OP posts:

Original poster

Carebear99 · 04/02/2022 19:13

@Luckylemonade could you have possibly ovulated later? Are you due a follow up scan? Fingers crossed 🤞

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theotherfossilsister · 04/02/2022 19:47

Thank you all. I think she meant well but really hurt me.

The five of cups was in a pregnancy reading.

It's terrifying x

Luckylemonade · 04/02/2022 22:06

I mean anything is possibly I guess! I did have covid over normal ovulation time so it is possible. Rescan on 15th so trying to remain as positive as possible but always easier said then done! Xx

SunDance21 · 05/02/2022 06:37

Firstly, the tarot card read is an absolute bellend. No one can predict the future. Ignore her.

OP - I've had a MC, a MMC and a CP. I'm currently 4 +3 weeks pregnant and honestly this is the most calm I've felt while pregnant.

I've come to realise that no amount of worry, no amount of scans are retesting etc will stop anything bad happening.

I'm in a mindset where when I start thinking negatively I tell myself "well at the moment I am pregnant and doing all that I can". My last pregnancy was horrific. I knew something was wrong from when I had tested because I'd had a period and before that my periods had been really weird. I had so much bleeding throughout my 10 weeks that I spent the whole time feeling terrible and on Google.

As horrible as this sounds, the fact is, if you were to have a MC or a MMC there is absolutely nothing you can do. There isn't a magic pill the NHS can give you.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy. Try to live in the today, which is that today you are pregnant and that is all the facts that you have.

Something that has helped me for the last 5/6 days has been reading positive stories. The Tommy's website has loads of success stories. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP❤️❤️

EllieJai44 · 05/02/2022 07:36

I've had a CP, a Blightened Ovum and a MMC, with my MMC we saw a heartbeat at 6 and 8 weeks but at a private scan at 10 and half weeks found baby had stopped at 9 weeks and 3 days

Pregnant again and while not planned (but definitely wanted) I am terrified of that happening again! By LMP I'm 8 weeks 2 days today but baby on scan Thursday measured 3 days ahead which I've never had and am taking as a good sign!

All I know is MMC are rare and tbh I have to keep telling myself that!

IsabelHerna · 07/02/2022 12:31

Take it a day at a time, fears like these are very normal, I'm still on the trying' stage, and I fear about it. Sending love, hugs and luck to your way x

Miller2021 · 07/02/2022 14:10

OP, I noticed you asked whether missed miscarriages are included in the miscarriage calculator.

If you're using this one - datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer?fbclid=IwAR1jehcN2eNSa-_aajVqPo9DwPK9Gv7ewJxfIEybYZQ6BTOBHqYy4Dh8L4g - the answer is yes. Near the bottom of the homepage, there is a question "What about missed miscarriages?" and they give an explanation, but basically yes, their data includes MMCs. I had the same question in early pregnancy.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 07/02/2022 14:33

Thank you so much everyone.

I've had quite a few private scans and I'm so pleased to see the heartbeat and even the baby moving at 8w5d on the Ultrasound the other day. It reassures me then I get stressed out again. I've got the IONA nipt and a quick viability scan next Monday, I worry the baby will have died in the meantime.

That was the miscarriage calculator I am using. I hadn't scrolled down. Thank you

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 07/02/2022 14:38

@Carebear99 you must speak to your MW about your anxiety.

Chanel05 · 07/02/2022 14:41

Congratulations! It's very normal to have that kind of anxiety.

I had a mmc in 2019. I'd seen a heartbeat at 6 weeks, developing nicely. Went to a scan at 9 weeks and the baby had stopped growing just a day or so before. It was very traumatic but the odds of this happening around 9 weeks are just 2%. Unfortunately for me, I was in that 2%, however 98% of pregnancies at the same time as me were not mmcs.

I fell pregnant again 8 months later and had my daughter.

Esssa · 07/02/2022 14:41

I think I read that 1% of pregnancies end in MMC. It does seem like it'd be higher than that when you see how many people say that happened to me but I think it's one of the ones that take a lot of getting your head round. I've had MC's and a MMC and the MMC was definitely harder for me because we found out at the dating scan that it'd gone wrong. My body hadn't noticed. I'd had a feeling about the pregnancy from the start and I was proved right. I was much more chilled about my last pregnancy even with my history and my 11 month old is sleeping on me now. The MMC pregnancy I was on that calculator all the time. My last pregnancy I barely looked at it. Fingers crossed for you but that is literally all you can do.

Original poster

Carebear99 · 07/02/2022 15:02

You ladies are all so lovely.

We've wanted another child for do long, it feels like this is a miracle and I just want everything to be OK. I know I've got no control over anything now and what will be will be but I want this baby so much. It feels like the last chance I thought I would never have.

OP posts:

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