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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Referral to the perinatal mental health team

13 replies

nadgersbadgers · 03/02/2022 20:10

That's it really. My 16 week MW appt today, over the phone - been referred to the perinatal mental health team. I sobbed and sobbed down the phone to a community MW.

We haven't told any friends or family that we are pregnant, or more importantly my older children. I'm now nearly 17 weeks and am struggling to hide my new shape.

Feeling exhausted and totally overwhelmed

Can any one tell me what help the team can give? The MW told me to go and see my GP too and talk about going back on sertraline.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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LW89 · 03/02/2022 20:21

Hi,
I requested to be referred to mental health midwife in my team. Already a mum to disabled 4 year old so anxiety around this pregnancy is sky high. MH midwife phoned me within a week, she suggested going back on my anxiety medication which I stopped early in pregnancy as it interacted with anti sickness I was taking. She also suggested I refer myself to my local CBT team for some treatment. Some teams have psychologists and psychiatrists on them who will specialise in maternal mental health.

Rachae · 03/02/2022 22:01

Why were you sobbing OP? I read that as you were sobbing because you were referred .. which I don't understand? I'm so happy to have been referred to this team, as it means I get extra support with my anxiety with pregnancy. It's great to have someone extra and qualified to talk to through pregnancy xx

babyjenks93 · 03/02/2022 22:07

Hi. My mw referred me too to the perinatal MH team, when I was about 28weeks. I felt terrible she felt like she had to, like a failure in a way that I had shown my vulnerability, but it was the best thing and I wish I knew how to ask to be referred sooner. I spent 28 weeks being miserable, and they gave me the resources to pick myself up. I was in a bad place with spiralling anxiety before. Now I am managing. I first had a face to face assessment with one of the team who recommended cbt for me and it's really working. Now I have a treatment plan for my anxiety that's already set up for the postnatal period as well. Of course every person is different, but they are there to help. It can truly be the best thing for you and your pregnancy.

WotsitMum · 03/02/2022 22:07

For me the perinatal mental health team came out to me several times as well as phonecalls and i was given a number to call 24/7. Having someone to talk that understood what I was going through helped alot

Mimba1 · 03/02/2022 22:23

They were and are amazing. I've had so much support. During pregnancy I didn't use the service because I had a private counsellor. Despite him being a very much wanted child after losses I developed PNA/PND and didn't bond with him. They were so good. They arranged counselling for me, a conversation with a pharmacist about medication (we decided not at the time) and for a nursery nurse to come to my house and do baby massage to help me bond with my son. I think I've been really lucky tbh. There have been times where I haven't wanted to carry on and where I have wanted someone to take DS away and that team of people have made sure there's something in place to get me through to the next day, next week, next month. Now I feel so much better. I love him to bits and enjoy spending time with him - I hate to say it but I wouldn't have believed that was possible in the early days.

20week · 03/02/2022 22:50

I'v been referred too op, 24 weeks and also haven't told older DC or friends/family.

I have a phone call with iapt at the end of the month. Wondering if others have been seeing a special midwife within the hospital?

mightytights4 · 03/02/2022 22:59

Well done for taking the first step.

Pregnancy care isn't just about your body. You're being flooded with hormones and lots of people need mental health support dealing with that.

Perinatal team were a godsend for me in two of my pregnancies. After coming off medication and falling apart for one pregnancy, we agreed I'd stay on it for subsequent pregnancies. The team were great at getting me the best medication and supporting me through it all. It's a life changing service and I'm so grateful for their help.

PickledGhost · 03/02/2022 23:05

I was referred a few weeks ago in similar situation. So far they've been supportive over the phone & came to the house as well. I have a psychiatrist appointment to review meds via them as well. My mood and anxiety were out of control but I am starting yo feel better xx

PickledGhost · 03/02/2022 23:06

Mostly I now feel less alone and afraid of my own head, less weird and wrong.

Original poster

nadgersbadgers · 03/02/2022 23:09

Well she asked how I was and I laughed and then started to cry and said I wanted to get in my car and drive away and never ever come back.

I think that might have been what gave it away. I'm laughing now but with tears in my eyes.

I feel just ridiculously hopeless and low. Already have a work related ptsd diagnosis, took myself off sertraline when I found out I was pregnant. This is an unexpected pregnancy and I'm struggling to deal with it. Don't feel any connection to it at all. After the 13 week scan I just sobbed for the rest of the day. Then I feel guilty. People want to have babies and I'm being ridiculously ungrateful.

OP posts:

Original poster

nadgersbadgers · 03/02/2022 23:11

@20week I feel safer (in my head) in my bubble without people knowing I also don't feel strong enough in my own mind to start talking to people about the pregnancy therefore not telling them has now become normal for me / how about you?

OP posts:

Luckyme30 · 04/02/2022 12:42

I was the same with my pregnancy with my son, I couldn’t face telling anyone, we eventually told my parents when I was 16 weeks pregnant but my partner practically had to beg me to tell them.

I did struggle when he was a baby but I had a specialist midwife who really helped me through it, she made sure that the Health visitors were aware (this was in the height of Covid lockdown) and I was eventually assigned a Nursery nurse through the health visitors, she was always at the end of the phone for questions or any worries I had about my little boy.

I reached out to the Perinatal team in my area when I was pregnant but was told (after they came to my house for an assessment) that I was not high risk enough and the service was so stretched - appalling really!

Hope you get the support you need - don’t be afraid to ask for help x

Hyggeandhugs · 09/02/2022 14:12

I think the best thing about them is that you can just tell the truth to them about how you feel and they listen without judgement. All those thoughts and feelings you'd worry about being judged by other people for if you said them out loud. They don't seem shocked by anything and people struggling to bond seems like it's probably quite a common thing for them. I totally understand struggling to tell people when you're not feeling all the things friends and family will expect you to feel... putting on an act is the last thing you want to do when you're struggling. But with the perinatal team there is zero pressure to perform, you can bare your soul warts and all and it's such a relief!

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