Breastfeeding - is it harder?

[TallulahHula]

28 weeks pregnant and hoping to breastfeed this time around. I formula fed with my last dc and found that it was very easy to get him into a routine with bottles/volumes and he was sleeping through the night quite quickly.

I have heard that bf babies need feeding a lot more regularly and possibly won't be as settled. Is this the case? Either way I want to try but I am a bit worried. Ideally I'd like to move to combi feeding later down line but I'm aware I'll need a few weeks or months even of EFB to get fully established. I'd be grateful if anyone could share their experiences about what they found 'easier' thanks x

I can’t comment on formula feeding as I breastfed my DD1. But what I can say is that if you want to breastfeed you will probably need to give yourself around 6 weeks to get established. You will pretty much be feeding constantly, this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong or baby isn’t getting enough milk it just takes roughly that amount of time for everything to settle. It can be very hard & exhausting. I found the best thing was to just take a day at a time and get through that day. It took me about 2 weeks for my nipples to stop hurting and stop using nipple cream. Each day gets that little bit easier. It’s probably much harder the first few weeks than formula feeding I would think but it soon becomes so easy. You don’t have to sterilise bottles, or buy formula, take milk out with you. So it depends on whether you want it “easier” in the beginning or if you get through the first couple of months and it become easier down the line. Good luck with it all and remember at the end of the day fed is best for baby ❤️

Thank you for replying. I have no illusions that the first few weeks will be really hard and I'm hoping I can get through them because it does sound like if you persevere then it's very worthwhile. Obviously I want to do what's best by my baby but not at the expense of my mental health and availability for my other dc. I just hope I can manage it without it being too traumatic. The thought of not knowing how much they are getting in terms of volume is also a worry for me.

My ebf baby was a much better sleeper than my combi fed baby.

Personally I don't think the method of feeding has anything to do with it.

Generally speaking as long as they're putting on weight they're getting enough. Cluster feeding is also common in the first couple of months or when hitting a growth spurt as it triggers your body to increase supply to meet the demand :)

Once I was.confident with it I found it easy, lots of skin to skin in the early days is meant to help with supply, look into what breastfeeding support is on offer in your local area now, so you have numbers and links to hand. Also, worth looking into tongue tie specialists in your area, because if you suspect tongue tie sometimes is can be quicker to get it dealt with privately than waiting on the NHS (true in my area, not saying it's the case for all trusts)

Kellymom is a great website for breastfeeding advice.

I introduced expressed breastmilk from around 6 weeks for some night feeds, but ended up just going back to breast as was less of a faff.

I can only speak for myself, but I found BF sooo much easier than bottle feeding! It was a bit sore for the first couple of weeks, but I was very lucky and it was pretty plain sailing after that. Nothing that some Lansinoh couldn't fix. It may not be anywhere near as bad as you're expecting. Remember, you hear the horror stories more than you hear of women who had no problems. I'm often hesitant to say how easy I found it as I don't want to sound like I'm rubbing it in. I have lots of friends/family who found it absolutely fine too.

No having to sterilise bottles and made up feeds, no having to go downstairs and wait for water to cool enough to make bottles up in the middle of the night. No having to prepare and pack enough bottles etc when leaving the house, no cost beyond the extra cake for my ravenous appetite (weight fell off me when BF despite eating a LOT). I found it easier to get my baby back to sleep with a quick feed when bf and yes, he cluster fed a lot in the evenings for the first few weeks. But I was too knackered to do anything beyond watch TV by evening and that was easy to do with a baby attached to me!

But don't beat yourself up about it, do whatever works for you. I couldn't tell you which children in my kids' classes were bf.

Someone told me that breastfeeding is hard for the first few weeks, then easy (convenient) for the rest of the time, whereas bottle feeding is easier for the first few weeks then is much less convenient compared to BF. Personally I had a difficult 2 weeks BF at the beginning but once we both learnt what we were doing it became a pleasure. 6 months later I love how easy it is and bonding with her. But I think it depends on your lifestyle. She won't take a bottle but I'm happy being with her all the time. If I was the type of person who is used my own space/boozy nights out/weekends away etc then it wouldn't have been so easy.easy.

Personally I loved breastfeeding, and was lucky not to find it painful. As Pp have said, it takes time, especially in the first few weeks - a full feed takes well over half an hour - probably more like 45 minutes to an hour to do both breasts in the first few weeks. But that was one of the things I loved about it - I just sat on the sofa watching tv, or reading old favourite books on kindle in cafes, feeding. I work in a demanding professional job so DS1 was the first time in years where I felt able to say to myself "it's totally fine I'm just here watching hours of TV a day, or sitting in a cafe for an hour reading the book - I'm feeding the baby!" For me, feeding was the perfect excuse to chill out, baby attached, so I was never in a rush. (Health warning - this attitude won't work if you are going to sit there thinking that you should be cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc). DS1 was a brilliant sleeper, got into a great routine.

I found it really easy and can't imagine ff being easier. I think it's all been covered already but here are my pros and cons. I have to say first though that my boy just knew how to breastfeed and it came easily to him. There was nothing special I did compared to someone who struggles. There's some persistence required in the early days but it's mostly just luck.

Cons:

Breastfeeding takes a while in the early weeks (but it's only a short while and spending time cuddling is a good thing)
I found it painful initially, maybe 2 weeks (but manageable, not too bad)

Pros:

No getting out of bed to make a bottle for night feeds
No expense
No sterilising
No packing bottles to leave the house
Really helps comfort my ds through teething/ illness/ accidents. It's the cure to most upsets.
Then there's the additional nutritional benefits for which experts recommend it.

I found expressing a pain in the arse though, and he never liked bottles anyway, so only I can feed him. That might be a con to some people (I quite liked it).

@Holskey I agree with your pros and cons.

OP, I’d add if you’re ever out and about longer than expected / accidentally forget to pack a snack it’s very handy to be able to give them a feed wherever you are.

When they get a little bit bigger the emotional benefits for then become much clearer, after jabs or if they hurt themselves it’s the quickest way to calm them down (equally if they’re being grotty and unreasonable it can buy you a few minutes peace!)

It can be logistically difficult to leave baby but I didn’t really have to do that very often so it didn’t bother me as I would have been doing the majority of the feeds regardless of the method (and I liked not having to get out of bed to get a bottle)

I wasn’t fussed at all about bf when I was pregnant, just thought I’d give it a go and see what happened and while it is hard at points so is motherhood generally so it’s hard to differentiate what’s bf related and what’s just babies being babies! I’m glad I did it though and plan to bf my next DC as for me the pros outweigh the cons.

I’d recommend following some IBCLCs on social media now if you use it as they often share tips / post about common misconceptions that can help you be successful if you know about them ahead of time. LMJ infant feeding and Lucy Ruddle IBCLC are good ones.

If its any reassurance, my EBF kids slept through the night at around the sane time as my combo fed first daughter.

I won't reiterate the above posters but agree with them. The most important thing is you're happy and comfortable with how you choose to fees. As they say, fed is best.

Bottle doesn’t equal better sleep, my second slept the same on BF as he did on formula. Can’t comment on my first because he was intolerant so that was the issue rather than the milk itself.

I've never bottlefed but so I can't say how much hassle it is but certainly I very much appreciated that I never needed to plan for any feeding. Never needed to sterilise bottles, make them up when baby was screaming hungry, figure out where to do that when out and about or plan how much to bring out. Really good on holiday too knowing that wouldn't be a problem and was just one less thing to think about.

I had a really easy time of it to be honest. Didn't take anything like the 6 weeks mentioned above to settle in, maybe 2 weeks? Certainly by day 4 with DC1 I was having lunch in a cafe and happily feeding. It was a lot of feeds in the early days but never really for long periods of time. Was painful when latching for about a fortnight, after that all plain sailing.

DC2 was more painful because we got the shared oral/nipple thrush and it was quite a few weeks till I got on to of that.

I did a load of pumping with DC1 so he could be left at 5 months for a day for a hen do. The pumping and the bottle battles were much harder work than breastfeeding. With DC I couldn't be arsed with it so she never had a bottle ever.

I was lucky to find breastfeeding straightforward and did it for all three of my babies. I'm not sure if it's true that breastfeeding babies feed more regularly - anecdotally it seems to be the case, but I didn't really find that. One of my babies was a great sleeper who slept through from 7 to 7 by 12 weeks old, the other two were not so good.

For me it was harder. But for many women it is a lot easier! My neighbour used to do things like feed her newborn, put him down for a nap and then go out for dinner with friends and leave her baby with her dh. I'm sure she did this really early on. She just knew he wouldn't need another feed for a solid three hours!

If we ever had a third dc, I'd give it another go, but I wouldn't obsess over it. My babies never went long between breastfeeds and then they stopped latching altogether. Wee rascals. I exclusively pumped for the second one for a whole year. It was alright and I don't regret it, but I wouldn't do it again with a third dc

DS 1 fed all the time for 3 months, no real pattern or predictable gap between feeds. Settled down at 12 weeks, fed til 22 months.
DS 2 has gone 3 hours between feeds from birth, currently 8 weeks 🙂

Very hard to predict!

Personally I found bottle feeding a lot easier especially with second dc as didn't have time to sit and breastfeed for hour. But I have lots if friends who have successfully breastfed for multiple children

I combi fed dd from day 1. I fed on demand and she settled into her own routine pretty early on (and luckily it was a convenient routine for me and DH to work around) and she's always been a very settled baby.

I mainly breast fed at home for ease, and formula fed when out and about or for DH to do a night feed while I slept in the spare room to catch up on sleep as I didn't get to grips with expressing.
I then formula fed from 4 months onwards

Thank you, it's so helpful to read everyone's experiences. Books are great but nothing beats first hand experience from people who have done it.

I wouldn't say I'm out and about a lot but I do like to go the gym or have a few drinks out with friends occasionally so it would be nice to think I can express or combi feed so that I'm not shackled to the house/baby indefinitely! But that wouldn't be until they were quite a bit bigger anyway. I'm feeling really positive about at least giving it a solid attempt.

I was shocked to learn that in the first few days until milk comes in they can survive purely on colostrum, is this really the case or did anyone top up with formula just until they got a good supply?

I was shocked to learn that in the first few days until milk comes in they can survive purely on colostrum, is this really the case or did anyone top up with formula just until they got a good supply?
Colostrum really is enough. It's very rich. I never did any top-ups. If the baby is latching well and often there isn't any need.

I think there was a study which found that on average breastfeeding mums were woken more frequently but actually got similar amounts of rest as ff mums because they didn't have to prepare feeds in the night. We had a few tricky weeks at the start due to tongue tie but after that was dealt with it was smooth sailing. Like pp have said I liked the convenience of having milk always available if out longer than planned. DS was a rubbish sleeper but it was 2 years after I stopped breastfeeding before he regularly slept through so probably unfair to blame breastfeeding!

I think that in general, bf is probably harder in the early stages. Breastmilk is digested a lot more easily than formula, so bf babies do feed frequently and also tend to suckle for comfort. So at first it can feel like you are feeding non stop, and of course you can't get anyone to do it for you so it can feel a bit overwhelming initially. And until you and baby really get the hang of things it can lead to things like sore/cracked nipples. So yes, a lot of Mums (though not all of course) do find it hard at first.
But, in my experience at least, once you get everything sorted it is easy and convenient. My best friend and I had our first babies at almost the same time. She ff, I bf. I definitely found the first couple of months harder, but as time went on, her feeding workload hadn't really changed but mine had definitely got easier. I never needed to worry about running out of milk if we stayed out longer than anticipated, whether the milk would keep cold enough for long enough or whether there'd be somewhere to warm a bottle. I found it very freeing to know that I could feed my baby whenever and wherever it was needed with no prep or planning needed. It became, quick, easy and fuss free after a while.
I did find the early phase a challenge, especially with my first but it was still hard going with my later babies. But I found there were great rewards later.
Best of luck whatever you decide.

I combo fed.
Breastfeeding is HARD. But bottle feeding is hard too. Hated the constant sterilising of bottles and preparing formula, never did it in the middle of the night but would have struggled with that!
I found getting them to sleep for naps easier with formula as I could give her it in her pram and she'd drift off. I couldn't do that with the breast! There really are pros and cons but I would EBF while you get established and then introduce some formula, just so you can have a bit of time to yourself. Don't leave it too late to introduce or you'll have a battle on your hand trying to get them to accept it, but equally if you start too soon you may be tempted to stop breastfeeding.

@TallulahHula

Thank you, it's so helpful to read everyone's experiences. Books are great but nothing beats first hand experience from people who have done it.

I wouldn't say I'm out and about a lot but I do like to go the gym or have a few drinks out with friends occasionally so it would be nice to think I can express or combi feed so that I'm not shackled to the house/baby indefinitely! But that wouldn't be until they were quite a bit bigger anyway. I'm feeling really positive about at least giving it a solid attempt.

I was shocked to learn that in the first few days until milk comes in they can survive purely on colostrum, is this really the case or did anyone top up with formula just until they got a good supply?

I thought that too about colostrum initially but then a friend said if colostrum wasn’t enough (in most cases with healthy baby etc) then we wouldn’t have lasted very long as a species! That changed my mind about it.

I never supplemented DD, milk came in on day 3 and at day 5 weigh in she was back at birth weight.

It's much more time consuming which won't be easy with a toddler it's more realistic to ebf first time around

I found breastfeeding very painful for the first 6 weeks or so. I had a very tiny, very hungry baby, who used to bite down on my nipples with such determination that they felt constantly bruised. I remember around 6 weeks in saying that if the pain didn't go away I would have to stop.

I also found the lanolin cream did more harm than good. I found that it kind of gummed up my nipples, and caused a slightly painful crust (as well as leaving greasy stains on all my bras and T-shirts. One day I scraped off the top layer with a muslin when I was in the shower and although my skin was a bit raw underneath I felt much better for having got rid of it. Since then I only ever moisturised with a bit of breastmilk and now I never bother at all.

I also got clogged ducts a couple of times. I found using a Haakaa filled with warm water and Epsom salt helped, as did taking sunflower lecithin.

My son is now 9 months old and breastfeeding has been easy and completely painless for ages. My nipples stopped hurting at around 6-8 weeks postpartum and I haven't had any clogs since the summer. I'm really glad I persevered.