abortion/parenting

[annabanana011]

im 23, nine weeks pregnant with a guy i’ve known since highschool. Im successful for my age, almost done with school, I work at my family business, I am pursuing a medical career I have a big family with alot of support and his family is supportive. The problem is he is immature. I mean he is young like me and I know most guys are immature at this age, but he sleeps through the day, not productive, he works which is great and makes money (as a server), but has no car at the moment, no responsibilities/bills/priorities besides work. It scares me every single day wondering if hes the guy I want to have my first child with. I know he loves me and if I were to have a child at this point in my life I see it being with him, but I know thats becauses hes all I know. Im scared I’ll feel like I settled and am trading in what my life could be: being in love and crazy about someone who makes me feel productive and motivates me and makes me want to be more for myself for what it is with him and sure he will be there and supportive but not sure he will be a good partner to me or be the person I want to be with in life. I had two parents growing up and I want my kids to have the same and I know things dont always go that way, but Im scared. Its like I cant even be excited because I spend most of the time worried if it will be worth it or if it will work out or if I dont decide to be with him if it will be enough for me to give up that dream of raising kids/family with a person Im crazy about. I dont know what to do.. Im able to have this baby with or without him, Im stable enough and have enough support to be able to still do what I want to do in life, but I dont know. Im not sure if its better to wait while Im young and have time or do it because its happening already and the only reason I wouldnt is because of who I’m doing it with. Any words of wisdom/advice?

Personally I don’t think a decision on whether or not you should have a baby should be tied up with and synonymous with whether you want to have a lifelong relationship with this man. What would you regret more - not having the baby and always wondering what if, or having the baby and always wondering what your life would have been like if you didn’t? From the tone of your post it sounds like you want to keep the baby but you are just disappointed it didn’t happen in line with your life plans - ultimately it’s your decision op as you will need to live with the consequences but I’d definitely look at it from the what would I regret more perspective. Would talking to your partner about your fears help? Does he have a view? Good luck.

It sounds like you are the point in your life, almost completed your education and the next step would be moving on to your medical career. Having the baby would possibly change that or delay that to some extent. It would depend if you are ok with that.

Also, your partner doesn't sound like he's ready to be a dad. The question is, can he step up and get ready, or are you likely to bear all of the responsibility?

If you have the baby, whether your relationship with him lasts or not, you'll be tied to him as your child's other parent for a long time. That's something to consider.

My daughter is of a similar age to you and in college. If she got pregnant I'd support her in what ever decision she made, but in my heart I'd want her to have the career and stability she's working so hard for and a baby right now would make that so much harder.

Good luck OP. Whatever decision you make, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Just do what your gut tells you and make a commitment to yourself to do it with no regrets.