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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Postpartum bathroom trips

15 replies

DragonMom98 · 25/01/2022 20:32

I feel a bit weird about saying this, but the other night I had a slight meltdown the other night over just going to the bathroom after giving birth.

I've already done all of this once before (gave that baby up for adoption) and my mind is just now coming back around to coping with it. Im still only 4 months pregnant with this one, and I'm seriously not looking forward to just going to the bathroom or showering by myself after all of that, especially if i tear again (firstborn was 10lbs 5oz, only had a 2nd degree tear).

My fiance is fantastic and so were the nurses when Id given birth with my first, but Ive got issues centered around being hyper independant, and having to rely on help just to go take a piss is almost dehumanizing to me and I hate it.

Hell, I dont even know what I'm looking for with posting here. Validation? Just getting it off my chest? Knowing I'm not alone with any of this? I have no idea anymore

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

YellowLemonz · 25/01/2022 20:34

You are absolutely fine/allowed to put your baby down somewhere safe, Moses basket,
The floor and get yourself to the toilet.

Showering I didn't do whilst in on my own with the baby. Plenty do and pop them in a swing chair, mat on floor etc.

ShadowPuppets · 25/01/2022 20:38

How long ago was your first?

I had DD 18 months ago and a nurse wheeled DD to the shower with me the next day post birth (episiotomy, and still had my catheter in at that point) but stayed outside with her and I showered alone. Same with toilet trips after the catheter came out. For all the indignity of giving birth, I didn’t have anyone accompanying me for showers or toilet trips, but they didn’t need to. I was fine going by myself (and DD was a 9lb assisted delivery - I was good to be up and moving by myself ASAP)

JustWonderingIfYou · 25/01/2022 20:45

I showered, weed, pooped alone after birth. I didn't know others didn't

Original poster

DragonMom98 · 25/01/2022 20:56

Gave birth in a hospital, which im going to do again because he'd gotten a little stuck on the way out.
Its mainly the act of being unable to go unsupervised at first. Had to page the nurse every time i had to pee

OP posts:

Original poster

DragonMom98 · 25/01/2022 20:57

@JustWonderingIfYou

I showered, weed, pooped alone after birth. I didn't know others didn't

Had a second degree tear and gave birth in a hospital 😅

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 25/01/2022 21:01

I’ve given birth 3 times in hospital and no one has ever been to the toilet with me. I didn’t need to ask for permission, I just went…

FelicityBob · 25/01/2022 21:08

There must have been more to it because giving birth on hospital and having a tear doesn’t mean you have to be accompanied to the toilet.
Nobody ever came to the bathroom with me after I have birth and working in maternity I would say it’s a rare thing

Sailor2009 · 25/01/2022 21:09

I had a second degree tear and spent two nights in hospital after giving birth. No one helped me shower or go to the loo.

Original poster

DragonMom98 · 25/01/2022 21:19

@FelicityBob

There must have been more to it because giving birth on hospital and having a tear doesn’t mean you have to be accompanied to the toilet. Nobody ever came to the bathroom with me after I have birth and working in maternity I would say it’s a rare thing

Im in the us, gave birth in a hospital, and had an epidural but i dont know how much that tied into it.

OP posts:

JustWonderingIfYou · 25/01/2022 21:44

I gave birth in a hospital too, well a birth centre in a hospital. I had an en suite so just went and showered/weed when I was ready.

I don't think they can make you do that in front of them if you don't want to. Just go on your own- unless physically unable obviously.

BillyBarryBoo · 25/01/2022 21:48

The nurses told me to buzz them before I went to the toilet the first time - I thought it was in case of a sudden dizzy spell or something. She accompanied me to the door, waited outside and accompanied me back to bed. First shower the same. Nurse showed me the way and I found my own way back.

They would have liked if I had measured the amount of wee the first time to make sure bladder was functioning properly but I didn't realize - I just told them I peed loads

Frlrlrubert · 25/01/2022 21:57

I had a 2nd degree tear too. DH 'supervised' my first shower straight after I'd been stitched up (gave birth in the MLU) in case I felt faint, but after that I was left to it.

Anyway, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that you may end up being briefly dependant on others, but remember that it won't last long, and, if you want, try to plan so that you're as independent as possible.

Could you try to avoid an epidural, for example, so that you'll be more mobile? Could you talk to your partner to make sure he's aware that you want to be as independent as possible?

PotteringAlong · 25/01/2022 22:22

If you’re in the US then I think that’s the difference: in the U.K. what you’re describing wouldn’t happen.

Passthecake30 · 25/01/2022 22:27

With my first child I felt very strange leaving them in the room to have a shower. So with the second, I just didn’t, I just waited until I got home and had a lovely bath.
No one followed me to the toilet either time.

Garman · 25/01/2022 23:35

I've had 3 babies in hospital, all csections so a bit more crocked immediately afterwards than your average natural birth. Nobody has ever come with me to the bathroom or for a shower?

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