Just found out I’m pregnant again

[Kittty91]

I’m on birth control & I breast feed my 1 year old, I miscarried in October (unplanned surprise pregnancy)…
This morning I’ve just gotten another positive, clearly my birth control hasn’t work or I’ve messed up with taking it.

I’m a single mum. The only person I’ve slept with is the father of my daughter.
We’ve been sleeping together casually even though we aren’t together, and being together hasn’t been a topic of conversation for us in any serious context, just a joke of getting married in 5 years, having each other in our lives and which ever partners may or may not crop up…

Ultimately I am on my own raising our 1 year old 98% of the time and the world of adult responsibility (in the form of getting up before noon and having to plan your day around feeds and naps) is far from being his string suite.

I am very very early in this pregnancy, I lost the previous at 5 weeks. I’m oddly calm but concerned about 1) miscarrying again 2) whether I should be having another child (or not) 3) what families will say if it comes to that. (Things didn’t end favourably before & even his family will likely be unimpressed by the news…) and 4) I really don’t know how he will take the news he’s previously said 1’s enough due to us not being together..

He was seeing a girl who is intent on causing fallout between us, and would rather us spend no time together. But we’ve always said important dates & events will be spent as a family so our daughter knows that no matter what we’re both there.
This girl is still around but he’s refusing a relationship with her because it won’t work due to her issue with the above.

What an absolute disaster.

OP, you are a single mum of a very young child and got accidentally pregnant by your ex. It is strange that you are concentrating what your ex's ex might think about it given all the other huge problems you need to deal with right now. Is she not quite ex yet?

You're clearly obsessed with his ex - it's pretty obvious to anyone reading this. I wouldn't be surprised if this pregnancy wasn't an accident. She doesn't sound immature tbh - sounds like she wanted some boundaries in place because she was paranoid about what might be happening between her boyfriend and his ex. Turns out she was right and there was still something between you. She's better off.

Nearly every single post of yours is about her and you claim she's immature?! What about the impact of the baby on you financially? On your current child? On your mental health? You haven't mentioned any of these things. Why? Because you're immature and focused on what as you put it, his "ex" will feel. Sounds silly right?!

Good luck being used by your children's ex. Sounds like you're made for one another.

well if you want to keep the baby then its up to you , what people say or think is down to them , im sorry , but this all does sound really teenagey to me , its hard to believe that you are in your 30s although im not saying your lying .

Do you hope to get back together with this guy? You said he's signed the tenancy? Where does he live? Does he pay full maintenance into your bank account every month?

Can you afford two children? Life is so expensive at the moment. In similar shoes to you I terminated the pregnancy as I wanted to get back to work and not bring another child into a messy situation. I wanted to be able to provide financially for my existing child. If I had had a different sex child I would have soon needed another bedroom and that would have been hard to afford to rent. If ii had owned my own home then, or been a council tenant, I might have made a different decision.

If you know that a termination will affect you badly mentally, I understand that it would be harder for you to do that, and easier to have another child. It's your call really. Good luck whatever you decide to do.