Possibly giving birth alone due to Covid

[Arcoiris3101]

So I'm 38+5days pregnant and my stepdaughter has tested positive for Covid today - she has a very snotty nose and that's pretty much all, feeling well otherwise. The thing is that she's been with us for the past 3 days (as per our living arrangements). I am literally panicking that me or my husband will now test positive within the next few days and it I go into labour and if my husband tests positive I will be by myself - I'm by myself in this country as my family lives in Italy. The truth is I could ask a friend or someone from husband's family as they are incredibly supportive (for example my SIL) but I really just wanted my husband to be there. It has been a complicated pregnancy after miscarriage and I just wanted to share this moment with him.
As well as that I'm having incredibly horrible thoughts against stepdaughter since I feel like she's taken away this from me and thinking that he got to see her being born and he might not be able to be for me - I absolutely know it's not her fault - I love her to bits - but I'm feeling really scared and that things are out of my control, which I do not like. We're all triple jabbed so at least we've done all we can to protect us.
Does anybody have had a birth alone? Has anyone have this happen to them because of Covid?

Also stepdaughter is spending isolation at her mum's house from today (her mum has recently had covid at Christmas) so we'll minimise contact there too.

Yes a very similar scenario happened to me unfortunately. I managed to test positive the day before my due date then DH got it a few days later. Both triple jabbed, few symptoms. As this was second baby the implication for us was that we then had no childcare for DS1 as both of us were isolating so DH had to stay with him. I was lucky to have a very quick labour and honestly it was fine. Yes I'd have rather DH was there but I'd spent a bit of time going through the practical options with my midwife and just made my peace with the fact that I was likely to have to fly solo.

I would highly recommend talking to your midwife about the practicalities as trusts vary so much. Is it your first baby? If it had been my first, we would have been fine as it was actually the childcare that was our biggest challenge. DH would have been allowed to attend if we were both positive. It was a bit more vague if he was positive but I was negative but I didn't push as with my dates I knew that was unlikely to apply. My community team were also happy to support a home birth regardless of covid status.

I'm sorry this has happened and I totally relate to the stress it causes. Happy to answer any other questions.

This is my first baby and most likely I won't have any more children so I really wanted to share this experience with my husband. I also had my big wedding cancelled because of covid - ended up marrying him in a very small ceremony which was lovely but I'm sick and tired of Covid ruining things.
My hopes are that neither of us catches it (best case scenario) or both of us (because surely there is no point on leaving him out) or just me and not him - which is not ideal since at the end of the day you never know how Covid will affect you.
There is still time until my due date and I was desperate for this baby to come out - now I'm wishing to go overdue just in case the worse happens.
And again I can ask someone else to be my birthing partner but it just won't be the same.

I feel for you. Covid is a bitch.

Obviously with it being your first pregnancy, you have nothing to compare to. I know every pregnancy is different but I just knew I'd go between 40-41 weeks like I did with my first. I knew the dates basically left me scuppered as I knew DH would get it so I basically worked on the assumption I'd be on my own til proven otherwise. I knew I'd rather be on my own if I couldn't have him.

I think my best advice is to stay at home as long as possible if he does catch it and can't be with you. Also plan your hospital bag etc for the worst case scenario. I didn't have a great labour with my first so packed in a way that made things as easy as possible if I did end up on my own.

I'd call your hospital and ask them what they're protocol is if you or birth partner has covid.
I had DS this summer and while DH and I were both negative, we got chatting to one of the midwives about it all and she said they had a room set aside for it a mum or birth partner were positive so they could still have the birth they wanted but it didn't mean contaminating all the other rooms abs staff knew that extra PPE was to be worn and that people in that room were positive so custodians couldn't enter etc.

I can’t tell you what will happen in every trust but I went into labour in October and neither I or DH were tested for Covid at any point!

So as an update. I've just tested positive for Covid at exactly 39 weeks. I have a sore throat, muscle and ear ache as well as a very snotty nose.
I feel like I'm basically fucked.
Husband still negative but I feel it's just a matter of hours/days. I'm praying to go overdue and that he doesn't get it.

americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/labor-and-birth/premature-labor/

There’s a bit in there about delaying labour, it says drink water cause dehydration can cause contractions... and something about magnesium which is interesting as zinc, quercetin, magnesium are used successfully for early treatment of covid

Forgot vit d!

Sorry to hear you’ve tested positive OP, but definitely worth checking in with your MW before you panic. I’m 39 weeks atm and was really anxious about DH not being allowed with me if he tests positive, but checked with the MW and she said that even at the height of the pandemic they had never not allowed birth partners in. I would just need to let them know in advance so they can make arrangements to isolate us from other patients and take some extra precautions. They said that if my DH has it, they would just assume I have it too, so kinda mad to stop him from coming to the birth of his child when they’re dealing with at least one person with Covid anyway!

It varies from trust to trust - I hope yours takes a similar approach. Either way, best of luck for the coming weeks and enjoy this time with your family!

Right there with you, @Arcoiris3101 - I tested positive at 10pm, earlier.

Due to be induced on Sunday at 39 weeks so also panicking about passing it to DP and birthing alone.

Will see what my trust say in the morning..

Fingers crossed for you!

Oh bless you but please try not to panic. I was fucked but that was only because of childcare for DS. I was positive first also and would have had DH there if he had stayed negative so we still would have had childcare.

The only changes in my trust were delivery suite not MLU as they wanted to monitor me. However if I had chosen not to have monitoring, community team would have still attended a home birth.

When I did ring into the hospital, the arranged to collect me from my car and took me straight to a delivery room rather than me going through triage. I had 1:1 care during delivery exactly the same as DS1. Delivery room had ensuite but no pool. We were kept for monitoring overnight but that was due to meconium in waters not covid. Had private room as needed isolated which was blissful compared to a postnatal ward.

Hopefully that helps and your symptoms stay minor. When I went through the practicalities with the midwives, they also agreed that childcare was my biggest problem. They were really relaxed about everything else.

My hospital has asked me to do a PCR even though that's not the guidance anymore and then after that they'll go through the options with me (if I need medication or something else). I've asked if husband tested positive if he would be allowed with me and they've said no basically.
I've obviously said that it seems a bit stupid that I would then ask a non-positive person to accompany me putting them at risk? Which they obviously had no answer to.
@FebBabyNo1 I pray that your husband doesn't get it. No person should go through childbirth alone.
I'm now isolating the best I can in my bedroom so he doesn't get it but I'm feeling very emotional and alone (as I've said I have no family in the country) and I just want to be near him.
Thank you everyone for your support and listening to my rant.

@Arcoiris3101 i honestly would ask to speak to the head of midwifery and also PALS.

As like you said, if dh had it what difference does it make? And if he doesn't, you're still part of the same household!

I'm sure as pp have said, there are sensible contingencies they could put in place to facilitate your dh being there regardless of covid status.

I know it seems awful , but you won't be alone. You'll have the midwife there, and they are very good and caring. I had both my children with no husband or any other support person - he was in the armed forces and was away on both occasions, and we were living far from family . I actually found it rather nice - I did my own thing, the midwives were there when I needed something , the babies came out just as they should, and we had a lovely special time, just me and them .

So if it comes to being without your husband, don't worry, you and your baby will be just fine. Best wishes to you.

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, I really hope either he doesn't test positive at all or actually probably best case he gets it straight away now and as it's your first you might go over due date and both be negative by the time you come to deliver.

If it comes to it try to stay at home as long as you can. If he's feeling well he could drive you there anyway, he just can't literally walk through the doors of the ward with you. Once you're at the business end you will be accompanied by a midwife at all times and frankly not give a rats ass who is in the room with you.

I think the post natal ward alone bit is actually hardest as there's nobody to give you a break. I had to do that due to covid, and it wasn't easy. Make sure you pack lots of things to make your life easier eg cleansing wipes, an extra long phone charger

I agree with PP, I don't see why he can't attend if you're positive as they'd need to make appropriate arrangements for you anyway. I would definitely be pursuing this while you can as I don't understand their rationale at all.

I do also agree with the poster above that the postnatal part is likely to be much harder on your own than the actual birth. I was lucky my labour was very quick but honestly I wouldn't have noticed if there was 100 people watching!!

How are you doing @Arcoiris3101 ?

Update
I was induced on late 29th of Jan because of reduced movements and because of of Covid as they were worried of the risks of still birth and the placenta failing (so much unknown in that territory) so I accepted it even though the tracks were always okay and I kind wish I stuck to more continuous monitoring.
Long story short. My husband was allowed (he is until today testing negative for Corona) but induction failed - I had to be continuously monitored so I was bed bound all the time which I think contributed to the failure, apart from baby being back to back. C section required.
This is when the worse part comes in. I was not allowed any visits at all and the time the midwife and teams could spend with me was restricted so I was 3 days in hospital by myself with my baby with no clue of what I was doing and barely getting any support. I was the most traumatic time of my life (thinking already of getting counselling for this) as I felt it was so inhumane and I felt like a prisoner.
Now we're home we're better, breastfeeding I'm also finding hard because I didn't get proper support to start with, I've had now two midwives come and teach me which has made it better but it's been quite the journey. All worthy for my little precious boy.
Thank you all so much for listening and offering support.