Work is expecting too much

[MatronicO6]

Looking for some advice.
Like many women on here I am expecting and a teacher. I have found my pregnancy largely complication free but at 28 weeks things are becoming harder. Work is getting harder at the same time. I am in a year group were expectations are high and it comes with a significant pressure to raise attainment quickly. It also comes with a lot of extra assessment, admin and event organisation. I did tell my head before the eyar began as I was concerned the expectations would be too much especially in my last trimester when my pregnancy would get more exhausting and work more demanding. They chose to keep me there with idea I would be transitioning supported in spring term, no sign of that support yet.

In fact things have become more demanding, with last min expectations, asking me to do extra after school groups to run a trial ofsted. I would be stressed by the workload and demands even if I wasn't pregnant. Last night I ended up having to go to maternity triage, I thought I was in preterm labour. The doctors thinks I'm rundown and a bit stressed. Even when they suggested taking another day off I started telling them I had so much work and it wasn't ideal. Work was my first thought and i know it shouldn't be.

Having spoke to a couple of colleagues, who have their fair share of pressure, I am taking another day but as usual riddled with guilt. But I do feel irritated that work haven't done anything to reduce my workload yet. In the last two years pregnant women were removed from class room. Before that the two pregnant members of staff weren't given class duties as they were due in December so we're out of class for their last three months anyway. I'm the only one who has had to keep a class straight through to my leave and I think the have underestimated how demanding it is.

Am I reasonable to raise this with head? I do feel quite intimidated by her but I can't go experiencing such anxiety and stress if I'm not coping well with it.

Speak to your GP and ask for a fit note with amended duties. Speaking to your trade union would also be a good idea

I've been in your situation and you need to put your foot down and really say how you feel.

I work in supermarket retail, so not the same job load. But when I said I was pregnant they gave me a different role as caretaker. Which was fine the first trimester, before Christmas I was getting bigger, more difficult to bend down. My boss was asking a lot of me, the early mornings, the 5 days straight in work and she wasn't spreading my hours out so have like 3 days off a week. It was 5 days straight and sometimes in a 4 hour shift where she could just add those extra hours into 2 days. The final straw was when she asked me to climb on the glass meat fridge and clean the 5 shelf high stacks. That was it for me, I demanded no more. I've experienced 4 pregnant co workers in the past get off with light duties and their pick of shifts and i was getting the short end of the deal and she was taking the piss if I'm honest.

So I explained to my doctor, they gave me a note to take in to say no more than 4 hours on my feet (she was getting me to stand in self service checkouts for 6 hours sometimes) and no more than 8 hours per shift. It all sounds dramatic. But you need to do what you need to do, for yourself, your sanity and your growing baby. They have no hold over you I've learned and if they want to kick up a fuss or be rude, then that's their problem

Drop the guilt. I've been a secondary school English teacher so I know about the pressure and how nothing is ever enough. Fact is, they would cope if you left tomorrow. This is the time to put yourself and your baby first. The school should also put you first, so be assertive and tell the head what you want. No need to complain about everything up to now, just tell her what you need going forward. Any issues, see your GP and contact your union.

Secondary school teacher here and I had a similar experience. In the end, I ended up with a few things wrong with me and had to be signed off for five weeks. I felt so guilty about it, but when I went back, they'd basically moved on. My classes were reassigned, and nobody missed me (apart from the pupils). Honestly, just look out for yourself. Schools just take and take and take, and there's never any thanks for it.

In 3 years time will your school head be talking about how they remember early 2022 and how helpful YOU were... probably not.

So don't pressure yourself, you're not protecting your baby.

Some employers/ managers (mostly women it seems) seem to have issues when their staff are pregnant.

When having my first my employer out of spite took duties off me I could have done at 40 weeks!
This time I know my new manager will not like I cannot continue with my current duties and will have strops and make sly comments.
You know what, I don't care. She's nothing to me in comparison to my growing baby and my dc and dh.

Last time I was in pain all day at work and she wouldn't let me go saying it's totally normal feelings. After work I drove straight to the hospital and my bp was sky high and I had a severe uti.

I will never be in that position again.

Agree about the amended duties GP sign off.
I think I know they year group you are in and it’s definitely not going to get easier in the next 10 weeks.

Leadership need to pull their finger out and start transition to another teacher asap…

Good luck.
Have another day off

Sorry but I don't agree with other posters I think you need a bit of a reality check and to get a grip. You're pregnant, not disabled, and you're 28 weeks, not 38. You still potentially have another 14 weeks to go before the baby comes. I say this as someone also 28 weeks pregnant. I'm a lawyer so I work in a stressful, high pressure long hours environment. At 20 weeks I was in the office till past midnight on a completion with my team. I didn't cop out because I was pregnant. I have also had HG till 24 weeks and now it's back again and I haven't missed a day of work. Sounds like you've checked out already and are annoyed that others got off early in the height of the pandemic just like all the NHS workers who think they're entitled to be sat at home on full pay from 28 weeks just because they've chosen to reproduce.

@MatronicO6 I think the bitterness evident in the last post is reason enough for you to disregard it. Must be difficult feeling so angry and dismissive about other people's experiences even though they're nothing to do with her. Maybe it's hormonal and she's not coping as well with pregnancy as she thinks. Or maybe she's just disappointed that she hasn't won any special awards for her superior work ethic and ability to martyr herself for her job 🤷‍♀️ Who knows, but I wouldn't take it to heart.

@anonanonanon123 fellow lawyer here. Congratulations on such an achievement. Commiserations on your attitude. Can tell you're a corporate lawyer. Magic circle I hope? If you're insistent on martyring yourself you should at least be well paid!

Put yourself and your baby first. Work can cope. Get signed off work if you feel you are struggling.

I don't think pregnant teachers are automatically removed from the classroom tbh. I taught a class full time until 38 weeks with my first and it wasn't fun, but it was doable. If you actually need to be out of the classroom then that's something to bring up with the head from a health and safety perspective, but it's not something to expect automatically.

I agree with @anonanonanon123.

If you're at work then I'd expect you to be working the same as ever. Physical work is different, I'd understand requests for no bending or less walking if you were having hip issues, no carrying heavy stuff etc.

You either get signed off with stress or put a shift in and work. You are pregnant and not even anywhere near full term not ill.

You need to do your teaching job but you don’t have to do anything outside of your directed time. So say no to the extra after school activities.

People can be so mean on here. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to reduce your workload or be off. Ring your GP and get a sickline for a month for stress and then go off on maternity from 36 weeks.Put you and your baby first. School will manage without you.

You need to say no to the additional work. I'm a teacher and worked till 37 weeks but no way would I have been doing extra groups etc. Your baby comes first, not your job. Teaching those children is your schools responsibility as a whole not just yours as an individual.

I actually agree with the more harsher posts. This entitlement and behaviour just feeds into the argument that women of child bearing age are a PITA to employ. You knew the workload and requirements before getting pregnant. Pregnant women are no longer required to shield from 28 weeks - that's been and gone - no point comparing yourself to colleagues from last year.

I agree don't be doing additional work but you should be more than capable of doing the basic job you are employed to do? Many women do more demanding and physical jobs when pregnant

Well hooray for @anonanonanon123. People with HG can often end up in hospital, do you think they just weren’t trying hard enough? I was big 4 with both of my first 2 pregnancies with HG and I certainly did miss a day or two here and there of work because you can’t fucking get out of bed so this dismissive attitude really pisses me off. You don’t know how other women feel. Fortunately I don’t work with anyone Ike you and my team were very supportive. I was promoted while pregnant so I certainly delivered through the total of my pregnancy (I had to add that otherwise you probably assume I was just a dead weight as someone who dared take sick leave when I needed to just because I was pregnant) . My client thought I must be dying of something like cancer until I told him I was pregnant, so my takeaway is I should have taken more leave and rest, not every other woman in the country should be able to run a marathon with a broken leg and anything else is pathetic. Attitudes like yours take women in the workforce backwards.

@anonanonanon123 your input to this really wasn't needed. Just don't say anything at all if you don't agree. OP clearly looking for advice, not a competition. Well done you for doing what you do. Well done you for overcoming it all with HG.

I had HG with a twin pregnancy, was in hospital 4 times with it on a drip. I couldn't refuse to not go into hospital because I had work. I ended up having a stillbirth with that twin pregnancy at 24 weeks.

6 years later in pregnant again after 4 miscarriages, so I'm sure as hell not taking any chances in my work place or doing what stuff I don't feel comfortable with. Not every woman is superwoman and everyone has completely different pregnancies. So cut others some slack for how they feel. It's a personal journey not a one size fits all

The HG comments are kind of moot here though- OP said her pregnancy has been largely uncomplicated and work is simply 'getting harder', which it will do. Seek adaptations as needed- I had a footstool and was allowed to teach from a seated position and asked to be excused from observations due to the stress they caused. I also got a fan because it was summer time. A colleague in their third trimester currently has someone to drop off and collect her class from the playground for her. You could ask to be excused from the extra duties and they should be keeping an updated risk assessment for you that includes mitigating stress. However, you shouldn't expect automatically not to have to do your job for the next couple of months just because you're pregnant.

As a doctor I would go to occupational health, so I'd say the GP is a good call. Be careful of "going off sick" though 5he employer can then trigger your maternity leave. I would have lots of pregnancy related appointments (Can be exercise classes) in the middle of the day

@Neurodiversitydoctor

As a doctor I would go to occupational health, so I'd say the GP is a good call. Be careful of "going off sick" though 5he employer can then trigger your maternity leave. I would have lots of pregnancy related appointments (Can be exercise classes) in the middle of the day

They can't trigger maternity pay until 36 weeks.

I have worked in high pressure jobs with expectations randomly spiking ludicrously whilst pregnant. I managed very well, as I was healthy before pregnancy and had a very uncomplicated full-term pregnancy, working right up to my 39th week. Lucky me, huh? But there were days I simply said "no" to my demanding manager.

It's your job, in my view, to advocate for your own health and safety, a busy manager won't probably jump to look after you and make adjustments beyond those asked for by law. Why would they? If you are well, and coping, then they will treat you like any other member of staff.

If you are not well, and not coping, then you need to stand up to your HT and state what you told us about the extra demands being a step too far. Ask for what you need, explain that you are concerned you won't function as a teacher at all, if you are pushed too hard for the extra work duties. It's sensible and practical.

If the HT fails to reduce your workload back to normal levels, then you need to have the conversation again, and put it in writing. After that if there is b
no improvement I would simply not fulfill the extra duties and be "ill" during the longer hours doing trial Ofsted, or omit doing the additional paperwork.

HT cannot sack you or discipline you for that.

I agree that you should be firm about what you can do and get the support of your GP to underline this, and to get you signed off for a period if that's what you need. I do think your expectations have probably been unfortunately a bit skewed by the past two years, though - it must feel unfair when you've seen other women out of the classroom automatically from 28 weeks but of course that wasn't the norm before and it was because of the specific Covid risk, not because it was deemed to just be too hard to teach in a third trimester. Feeling hard done to in comparison probably isn't helpful to you.

I would have lots of pregnancy related appointments (Can be exercise classes) in the middle of the day

That's such a crappy attitude and unfair to colleagues & the employer. Along with the at the end.

I might not put it as harshly as anon but I think the point is valid.

You are only 28 weeks. You aren't unwell and you should be carrying out your usual duties, including the usual additional tasks that everyone has to do.

However, regardless of pregnancy, you shouldn't be stressed & overworked and should discuss this with your manager (or equivalent role in a school)

Asking for reasonable accommodations is also a good idea.

But simply expecting a reduction in your workload isn't reasonable.

(I worked till term in busy jobs with my first two pregnancies. In my 3rd I was exhausted due to a lot of other personal circumstances, a failing marriage, a long commute & 2 other small DC. I went on maternity leave a few weeks early - it was a contract role so I was only entitled to a few weeks maternity leave anyway.)