Unsupportive partner during pregnancy

[nikita22]

Never wrote one of these before but I really have no one to talk to and need help, so little background I'm 22 and I'm pregnant with my first baby and had previous miscarriages never got this far along I'm 18weeks today but it's been a extremely stressful journey not only because of all the worries due to previous miscarriages but also due to my partner and our relationship. We have been together 3 years and he's had mental health problems most of those 3 years got worse after we lost our last baby a year back and through this pregnancy it's been absolutely awful and he's taken it out on me. We where having a rough patch before I got pregnant (it wasn't planned) and we have spent most of the pregnancy arguing he become incredibly distant and even though we live together I don't see him much he spends a lot of time in the studio since he's got into music and if he's not there he's with his friends, sometimes he comes home at 3am after spending the night in the studio and all day out with his friends iv felt incredibly alone through this pregnancy and feel that me and him have drifted apart I really try to spend time together but he gets irritated any time I ask him to spend time together then he start an argument and says I'm not supporting his career which recently iv really not since iv taken my energy to support myself in this pregnancy. Last night I lost my mucus plug and I'm 18weeks so I spent all night extremely stressed when he got off work today he dropped me at the hospital and I was seen by midwife she told be to take it easy for next few days and to avoid any stress I got the bus home and he started a huge argument because I asked if he could come spend some time with me after a horrible day and he started to get irritated with our puppy barking and then he went off screaming at me I started crying as it causes me a lot of stress and I coudnt believe that after last night he's doing that then when he calmed down he was saying it my fault that I started it....by asking him to spend time with me, so my question is do you guys this this relationship can be fixed I would hate to break up especially now that we are having a baby I love him and I know that his mental health is bad and I would of never left him because of that as it's not something he can control but now that he's putting baby at risk I'm really considering leaving him even though I can't imagine loosing him

Congratulations on your little bubba 🥰👶 I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hate to say it, but your bf sounds like a narcissist..
My daughters Dad was the same. She's 12 now and our relationship is better than ever for her sake and purely platonic, but when I was pregnant with her he acted how your man is.
Every argument turned into "my fault". He was out all day and came home late at night (later found out he was cheating) and when I asked him about it he'd get angry and throw stuff around or say I was getting on at him etc. Eventually he started punching doors and walls, then it was me, he was really abusive. Whenever I asked why he done what he did, he'd turn on the water works or blame his mental health or say he'd try to kill himself, I thought it was all my fault.
I didn't have an enjoyable pregnancy at all and when she arrived, he wasn't really involved. Played video games and went out all the time, we split when she was 3 months old.
You need to put yourself first here. I know it's difficult and you don't want to go through pregnancy alone or be a single parent but he's not being supportive or looking after your needs. Reach out to family too and let them know how he is. I regret not telling my parents what was going on.
Maybe you can fix things with him, but it seems he's not understanding or approachable. I hope things get better ❤

If he's causing you more stress than happiness you should leave him. If you can. You're so young for all this crap xx his mental health will ruin your own mental health. And if hes not supportive now, i bet you he will not be supportive later, you will have to deal with baby on your own and stress with him on top. Its not worth it x
And why on earth he is with you if he doesnt want to spend time with you. I've really seen such behaviour when i was your age ... he just sounds like he doesnt know how to leave you and gonna make your life miserable instead ... you're starting a family if you look at it from a side and ...but is this family, he doesnt wanna be around you rather be out with friends.. maybe other girls too..i say f.him.

At the very least go and stay with a friend or relative for a few days. You need sone stress free time out.