Unplanned pregnancy and unsupportive partner

[ddog18]

Hi everyone
Found out a couple of weeks ago i am unexpectedly pregnant (currently 7 wks), this came as a huge shock as last year after many tests i got told i would probably struggle with early infertility (i'm only 21 and always wanted a baby so this devastated me)

Ive been with my partner only around 6 months but we are serious and have been living together, and we have been using no protection or contraception as he was also told he had problems, so we didn't expect it to happen especially so soon. But we did discuss the small possibility and i made it clear due to low chances i would not be able to go through with an abortion, he did not argue with this and we continued having unprotected sex.

As soon as i told him he began pressuring me into getting an abortion. I said i will think about it but in my gut i just know i couldnt go through with it, especially as this could be my only chance.

I am shocked at the way he has acted as he has said some very hurtful things and made me feel guilty for even considering trying to keep it. Before this we had never really argued.

He is worried about what his friends and family will say. I have told close family and i am supported in any decision i make by them.

Just looking for some support and advice really on how to approach the situation with him, and how to make him see my point of view.
Thank you and sorry for the long post!

You were very clear with him and he still chose to have unprotected sex.

If you don't live together I would give him a week or two of space to see if he comes round to the idea. If not then go it alone.

Don't allow him to pressure you into anything you don't want to do. If you have an abortion that you don't want you will always resent him.

Given how long it takes to get any tests and answers when trying and failing to conceive I’m always a bit surprised to see the numbers on here who have been told in advance they are likely to struggle, unless they’ve had chemo or something.

Anyway, by the by, chances clearly weren’t as low as you thought and there’s no reason whatsoever to think that it could be your only chance given that you’re pregnant within 6 months. 21 is very young. Far too young to tie yourself to someone you hardly know for the rest of your life and bring a child into a situation which is so far from optimal.

It's up to you whether you keep the baby or not but I think you need to work on the assumption that he won't be around or supportive and that you'll need to stand on your own 2 feet. 6m is no time in a relationship so you barely know him.

Make your decision based on what is right for you.

I'm sorry you are going through this. He was aware of the risks but took them anyway. You should do what is right for you, if you choose to be a single mum that's OK and there us support. Please don't let him pressurise you, you need to do what you want. Please speak to your friends, family or a local support group (there are likely groups that offer advice, normally linked to local young person services who offer support on a range of issues including careers advice etc).

Seriously what did he expect having unprotected sex, such shocker for him now....very immature!

Have the baby, dont give up on it cause of him xx specially if its your only chance