Feeling very low - when to ask for help?

[Rachipops]

Hey guys,

Every day I feel like I'm sinking lower and lower. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and I have spent my whole first trimester very sick and run down (like many of you).

I just can't seem to find joy in anything at the moment. I hate my work, I work from home, I hate my home because it's so messy and I can't find the energy to do anything. We're selling our cars because finance is so tight. I can't even enjoy food because of this nausea which seems to be getting worse by the day, not better. I spend my whole weekend dreading work again the next week.

Although I am over to the moon to have finally conceived and be across the 12-week mark after previous losses, my interest in my pregnancy seems to have completely vanished - which I hate myself for. I don't want to talk about it and when anyone messages me about it my reaction is just 'please leave me alone'.

I just feel like an awful human being. I've always had on/off depression and anxiety, so I'm wondering if now is the right time to speak to a doctor?

Has anyone ever taken pregnancy-safe antidepressants and how did they find it? I'm literally in tears typing this because I feel so lost and unhappy and guilty.

Should I see about taking time off work? But then I'd be on stat. sick pay. I just don't know anymore.

I have another scan on Friday so I'm hoping that perks me up a bit.

Thank you

Now. Don't keep your feelings in. Get some help.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. If you can't get hold of your GP, speak to your midwife. Treatment may or may not involve antidepressants, it depents what you're comfortable with and what works. Please get some help as soon as you can.

You should be able to link in with your hospitals' Perinatal mental health team. I did this at my 14-week booking appt by talking to midwives and asking to be referred.

I have had 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy and had a lot of anxiety concerning this pregnancy, I generally struggle with anxiety and have periods of low mood intermittently. I don't take medication but I have done in the past but I don't find it beneficial for me in the long term that will be a personal choice for you.

You don't have to take time off work unless you decide it will benefit you, some people might become more depressed if they didn't have work distract them, while others feel that work is too difficult and exacerbating the problem it's not a one size fits all, you do what you think is best for you.

Your energy might return soon. I started to feel better in the second trimester then worse again after 25 weeks on so. Try to go for a 30-minute walk every day this can help with mood a lot it's one of my important crutches and good for you and baby both mentally and physically.

@Rachipops sorry you feel like this. Ask for help now - you don't have to have medication and you don't have to have time off, but you can if those things are right for you. Being on the radar helps with so many things. I had anxiety due to previous MC and they were great - we discussed what would help and I had extra MW apps to hear baby's heartbeat and ended up being induced to manage my anxiety around the due date. I had postnatal depression and they supported me through that as well. I didn't have medication in the end but they gave me an appointment with a pharmacist to discuss all the options which was really helpful.

Another Vote for ask for help. It sounds like you are consistently down rather than peaks and troughs

You need to ask for help now. Speak to your midwife as they may probably have a team that deals with pregnant women with risk factors including mental health (at least my borough does) and will be able to point you in the direction of any available support.

I'm on antidepressants (sertraline) and 19 weeks pregnant. I was on them for a year before I got pregnant though. I saw my psychiatrist about them when deciding whether to continue and the risk is very low. I understand this is the antidepressant they generally recommend to pregnant women. They work brilliantly for me but everyone's different.