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Original poster

C section - end of May - is going on a hen in early July feasible?

22 replies

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 12/01/2022 16:39

Hi everyone,

Due to a heart condition it is looking likely that I will be having a c section - baby due May 23rd. My best friend is getting married abroad in September which I will attend but the hen is around July 2nd.

I would like some advice if this is something I could attend or will it be a bit ambitious? I have read a range of responses so still not feeling any wiser! It will be a weekend and this is our first baby. I am slightly worried it might be too much but I would love to hear the experiences of other mums.

Thank you,

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czycoup · 12/01/2022 16:51

Unfortunately I don't think you will get a definitive answer I'm afraid. Personally I recovered well from my section and would have been ok physically for a weekend away 6 weeks later, but friends I've spoken to would not have been able to manage it. So in that respect it depends on how you recover, and no one can tell you this early on.

The other thing you need to consider is if you plan to breastfeed, are you taking the baby or bottle feeding from the start? If bottle feeding then it's easier to leave a baby. I never breastfed so I don't know how pumping and storing milk works if the baby wasn't going with you but I know some BF babies refuse bottles.

Also, how your baby is, we had a very colicky baby and I wouldn't have wanted to leave my husband (assuming baby isn't going with you) to deal with them for a weekend while I went off on a jolly, and I wouldn't have appreciated him doing that to me. But again, you won't know what type of baby you get until it's here. Besides that, I was so tired and emotional in the early days I think a weekend of partying would have finished me off (unless it's a spa weekend? I think I would have managed that).

Is it possible to be added to the booking before u go/once you know if you feel up to it? Or could you book your place with no consequences if you pulled out?

Cuddlemuffin · 12/01/2022 16:55

Tbh I'm not sure you'll want to leave your baby when they are that little and you will without doubt be absolutely knackered and probably not up for a night out. I wouldn't put any money towards it but if you can say yes conditionally then maybe do that x

YoureOnMute · 12/01/2022 16:56

I've had 2 sections and by 6 weeks I felt pretty well both times but I don't think I would have attended a hen do for a weekend by that stage. You have no idea how you're going to feel physically and it is a major operation, so while you'll feel a lot better at 6/7 weeks than you will at 2 weeks for example, your body will have gone through an awful lot.

On top of that, you may well be exhausted simply from just having a newborn, getting into a feeding pattern (especially if exclusively breastfeeding) and you may not want to be apart from your baby at that stage.

On the flip-side though, you may feel totally fine and be up for a weekend away at that stage but I assume you can't say "wait and see" as you'll need to confirm/pay for it? If you won't lose any money from dropping out at the last minute (or losing the money isn't an issue) then there's no harm in saying yes, but on the proviso that it depends how you feel closer to the time.

However, if I was in your position (and with the benefit of having had sections so I know what it feels like) I'd probably be declining the invitation just to be on the safe side.

Hope everything goes well for you and baby in May!

Babydust13 · 12/01/2022 16:56

I did this I had a c-section last year on the 26th of May and then went on a hen do on 17th July I recovered really well I had no complications thankfully

theqentity · 12/01/2022 16:57

There's no way you will be up for leaving your baby for a whole weekend when they are six weeks old.

Original poster

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 12/01/2022 16:57

Thank you @czycoup you raised points I had not even considered - smh! I am very green and think still not quite aware of how much our lives will change - I have no idea how I will be feeling emotionally/physically so really hard to predict.

Thank you xx

OP posts:

CornishGem1975 · 12/01/2022 16:59

Depends what type of hen do it is?

I had an EMCS and honestly, I had zero pain afterwards and was back to normal life within 2 weeks (driving etc etc) but I know it's not the case for everyone. 3 weeks after I went on a big night out to a 40th birthday and had a cracking time! It was just what I needed to be honest.

I also wouldn't have struggled leaving my baby for a day or night - I was hospitalised a few weeks after birth so had no choice and I enjoyed the break for a few days but everyone is different.

Babydust13 · 12/01/2022 16:59

@Babydust13

I did this I had a c-section last year on the 26th of May and then went on a hen do on 17th July I recovered really well I had no complications thankfully

Just to add I didn't breast feed and my OH was perfectly comfortable looking after our little boy is was just for a day/evening though I didn't go away but I don't think I would have felt bad for going if it had been a weekend thing but that's just me I'm sure a lot of people would think I was terrible 😂

CrumpledCrumpet · 12/01/2022 17:01

Would I have been physically recovered enough from my c-section? Yes.

Would I have been ready to leave my baby for a weekend, either emotionally or in terms of the practicalities of breastfeeding? Very much no!

BiscuitLover3678 · 12/01/2022 17:02

I think it will be quite intense! I felt physically well much sooner in in terms of C-section, but waking every 2 hours on the dot is pretty physically draining! I wouldn’t have been able to leave my 2 month old even if I wanted to.

Surely your friends will understand and just keep it open for you?

2021BusyBee · 12/01/2022 17:02

I went on my own hen do (although it wasn't a weekend away) 4 weeks after my C section and I was absolutely fine, I wore heels and dressed up etc. and was out dancing all afternoon and night.

Rather than staying over, would it be possible for you to go for the day/evening and travel home? Or can you and your OH stay close by with baby so that you can still go out? My friend did this 5 weeks after her C Section for someone she was a bridesmaid and much preferred it as she as still able to attend the hen do but was able to still spend the night with her baby as well 😀

Wizaway · 12/01/2022 17:02

I found i was up and about fairly quickly after both my planned c sections. Within a month I was certainly going shopping and for walks etc.

The one thing I will say is that everyone recovers differently and adjusting to new babies can be hard. You may not want to leave little one for the night and you might be raring to go. Both are equally OK but at this stage you won't truly know how ok you will be with it.

No reasonable person will be upset with a pregnant lady saying I'd love to come if I am able to but obviously I won't know for certain if I will be recovered from my c section at this point or establishing breastfeeding if appropriate to join you do you mind if I update you nearer the time?

BiscuitLover3678 · 12/01/2022 17:02

I mean I was in bed every night at 7pm feeling horrendous because I had a newborn 😂

Lawnpop · 12/01/2022 17:06

Physically I was ok after 3 weeks but there is no way I could leave such a small baby for more than a few hours.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 12/01/2022 17:08

I would have been recovered from my c-section, but wouldn't have been able to go because I was breastfeeding. I was totally happy to leave DS for a few hours/go out for a meal/get my nails done from about 3/4 weeks.

Also, none of my nice clothes fitted at that point, but YMMV. Took me 6 months to be able to fit into my party dresses again .

theqentity · 12/01/2022 17:08

You're going to be quite tired, OP. Six weeks is peak evening fussiness/colic time. Also if you're planning on BFing they will still be cluster feeding at that age and they go alllllll evening.

Alfixn · 12/01/2022 19:59

If you were asking about going to an event where baby could be with you or nearby for the duration I'd say go for it, but a hen weekend is not the time or place for a baby and as for leaving my baby for 48 hours at 6 weeks of age? - for me it would have been 1000% no - on both an emotional/hormonal level but also from a breastfeeding point of view. I left my baby for about 8 hours at 5 months of age and that was a logistical nightmare that I spent at least a month fretting about beforehand, as she was a bottle refuser.

Alfixn · 12/01/2022 20:01

OTOH if you are not planning on BF, it logistically will be a lot easier to go.
But I still think it's hard to predict how you'll feel emotionally at such an early stage. I've never been the world's most maternal person- to say the least! - but having a newborn changes your whole world. It's the emotional equivalent of being hit by a train!! And everybody responds differently.

LethargeMarg · 12/01/2022 20:03

I would have had an emotional meltdown having to be apart from my baby at that stage. Nature designs new mums so that they don't tend to want to be apart from their babies for very long.

Gem176 · 12/01/2022 20:13

In my experience the c section wasn't the issue but leaving my tiny, beautiful, helpless newborn was.

I've had two sections and recovered incredibly well and quickly from both. No two women are the same and I realise how incredibly lucky I am.

With my first I went away for the night to a concert that I had booked before finding out I was pregnant, physically I was absolutely fine but emotionally I was miserable, that was one night and I didn't have to contend with any of the complications of feeding a BF baby while separated. She was 5 weeks old.

My second is now 5 months old and I still haven't left her for more than an hour. Once bitten, twice shy.

Original poster

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 12/01/2022 20:19

Thank you everyone - very helpful. At the moment I am currently going to the lunch and fiancé is coming with and will be round corner with baby - this could all go up in flames but that’s as ambitious as I’ll go (and I think judging from your responses I really won’t want to leave her!) thanks xxx

OP posts:

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 12/01/2022 20:39

I came out of hospital after an emergency section on my first baby, my best friend came to visit and told me she was getting married....in 10 weeks! Theyd been together 20 years, had 4 kids and engaged about 8 years not sure what the sudden rush was! Anyway baby born end Jan, went on hen weekend 2 hours away, 6 weeks later. Was nervous about leaving baby with DH but id been her best friend for over 20 years and couldn't miss it. Went to the wedding then 4 weeks later overnight with DH and my mam took the baby. I enjoyed both nights, loved the freedom of having a drink and a chat and fun with friends.

Everyone is different but you probably have a good idea what you will be comfortable with

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