Desperate for help - hand hold needed!

[MyDogIsCool]

Not entirely sure I'm posting this is in the right place and I'm not sure what I'm asking for, I'm due to be induced next week, my mum passed away last night, I'm 30 and this is my first child, how do I give birth next week and bury my mum the next, I feel guilty for being happy about having a baby, and guilty for being sad about my mum, my heart hurts so so much and I don't know to do, I have a supportive partner and family but can't explain how I feel as I know they're hurting as much as me. I'm so lost 😞

I'm so sorry @MyDogIsCool , struggling to imagine how you must be feeling, and that is someone who has been through a major bereavement in the past. Giving you a hand hold and sending you strength do you have support at home?

Hand hold and hug from me, OP.
What terrible timing - your emotions must be all over the place, swinging from grief over your mum, to joy at the impending birth of your baby.
The one emotion that you do not need, and should firmly squash, is guilt. You have nothing to be guilty about.
Your mum would have been delighted at the birth of her grandchild, and she certainly wouldn't want the birth to be blighted by guilt and sadness.
You do need to cry, and you of course will miss your mum. But also remember her with love, and give that love to your new baby when she/he arrives. The baby is the future, the living proof that life goes on even in the face of death.
As a Christian, I believe that we will all be reunited in heaven, in the loving presence of God. You will then be with your mum, and she will meet her grandchild, but first you have a life to live, and a child to raise.
Take it one day at a time, and make use of all the help you can get from friends and family.
Don't bottle things up - express your feelings, and talk about your mum and your memories. The pain will ease, I promise, however unlikely that sounds right now.
In my own bereavement (of DH), I found comfort in the memorial at the Water of Leith in Edinburgh, which has carved in the stone: "Grief is not for ever. But love is."
God bless OP. You are in my prayers.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my mum last year and I was 19 weeks pregnant with my second child. It was devastating and I was heart broken. Although I had sometime between loosing my mum and having my baby it was the hardest most bittersweet thing. I was so happy with my new baby but deeply sad my mum wasn't here. Please speak to your midwife and ask to be referred to the perimental Midwife team. They can help you. You will get through this. It's hard but, you are strong and you have to keep going for your baby. Sending you my love.