Maternity leave - family run business - feeling guilty!

[dg93]

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation to me and has any advice?

I'm going on maternity next Friday for 12 months and I feel incredibly guilty.

It's my parents business but me and my brother also work here, with about 16 other colleagues. Me and my mum run the office which is usually absolutely fine, however my mum is undergoing chemotherapy and isn't well enough to be at work about 90% of the time.

We have been training up some of the team, and I know they are capable of doing the work we do, but I can't help to feel so guilty that it literally brings me to tears everytime I think about going on maternity leave.

I've made it clear to everyone in the business that I don't want to return to the same role, and especially not full time so going on maternity leave is great for me, but why do I feel so guilty?!?!

I've told everyone here that they can contact me by text whilst I'm off if they need help or advice but I've made it clear that I will reply when I'm free which will probably be stupid o'clock in the morning or evening...

Is it normal to feel guilty going on maternity leave or is it just me?!

Sorry to hear about your mother, there must be a lot of emotions for you all right now.

If you have no intention of going into the same role again training up someone sounds ideal. I think you've been honest and fair from the sound of it. Guilt is something most mums experience but it's also such a waste of time. I presume the person taking on the new role is happy to be taking on the role as they are being promoted or whatever.

Having a baby is life changing in every way and you are doing the right thing putting yourself first. I work for a very small company and originally said i would only take 6 months because I felt bad, because of covid i ended up having a lot more and I was so relieved because I wasn't ready at 6 months but would have felt I had to come back.

In a very similar situation to you, my parents family business, my mum & I oversee the majority of the office (though only another 5 employees) & my mum also has health issues so is only in the office about 50% of the time.
I am going on maternity leave and I do feel guilt as I know the increased workload will just fall on my mum as we had less staff pre covid and then had 1 staff member leave so 2 of the employees have been with us less than 6 months and 2 of the longer term members are only part time so can't step up to fill that role effectively.
I am just taking 6 months and have said the same, that people can contact me if they need anything and I'll reply when I can.
I am coming back to the same role though but only 4 days a week.
I think your guilt is not really to do with maternity leave in general as for most people they don't have the emotional connection that you have to the workplace and the staff - family businesses are much more involved and you feel that you're 'letting down' not just colleagues/bosses but your family members, people you love & care about.
It sounds like you have done everything you can to prepare your colleagues for your departure and hopefully there are enough people that they will manage just fine without you.
I agree with pp that now is the time to focus on yourself, your decision is made and there's no changing it now! So just enjoy your maternity leave and this time with your new born.
I really hope that things go well for your mum as well.

Thank you both so much!

I think I just need to get over the fact that there's nothing I can change - the day I found out my mum had cancer was the day I found out I was pregnant, so it's been really emotional for the past however many months, as I kept thinking everything would be fine and That we could time everything pretty well with my csection and her surgery... but obviously that's actually impossible and I only realised that a couple of weeks ago!

I'm generally so excited to have baby L and start living my life with a baby (it took 8 years to finally conceive so it's really only just become real to me as I kept thinking the worst, but now I have a csection date it's very real! 😂)

Thank you both again x

You have definitely waited long enough for this little one, I am sure the baby will bring you and your family so much joy.

One thing about them, they never do what you want and in your timescales, so this might just be preparing you!! I hope your mum's surgery goes well.