Overwhelming

[naomi94]

Morning all mummies ,

Just thought I'd write this little post as I'm sure many of you have felt the same as I do right now.

I'm so over the moon happy with my little rainbow baby pregnancy and going for my first GP appointment today - hoping to get referred for early scan.

I've moved to a City and my family and all my friends is about 1 hour away , so it's only me and my partner who also works. I can't help but stress about , what if I just need a morning to go to the shops or someone to nurse my baby for me to give me time to get a shower etc .. just feeling a little lonely.

I recently just completed 12 weeks training and am a qualified DCO (detainee custody officer) Whilst I am sitting at home waiting on CTC clearance and have not yet became operational I fear due to the job being high risk and use of force required when necessary I won't get started , and work won't take the news all too well.

Sorry for the long post -

Hi! I don't have a lot of useful advice to offer but here goes

Have you thought of booking in antenatal classes yet? These could be a chance to meet other pregnant women near you. I hear they set up WhatsApp groups and meet for coffee and stuff once the babies are born - much be something nice to look forward to and help feel less lonely? (Not my cup of tea, but some people love em)

Same with breastfeeding classes, pregnancy yoga, play groups. Might be fun to just do some research into where they are

You say you have a partner who works. Despite their job, I'd hope they'd see it as their role to support you, share childcare, keep each other sane, etc. Do they feel like this? Would a chat about division of labour make you feel better? Maybe going to antenatal classes would highlight how important their support could be (I'm aware a partner isn't necessarily a parent to the baby and don't want to assume anything. But I think this is true for any loving partner, really, in my opinion)

As for your job I don't know much about that. I had an occupational health assessment for my job and I was surprised how strong their recommendations were. (I'm a nurse, and most nurses that I've seen just battle on normally through their pregnancy, but apparently we're advised to make a lot of changes). Anyway - if you can't do your job as normal, maybe that won't actually be such a bad thing? You're entitled to adaptations and should keep your job and get paid. And maybe you could see it as a gap period, not doing exactly what you'd imagined, but less physically demanding and safer for the growing baby? Pregnancy is hard enough, I say, be kind to yourself 😘 xxx

P.s. Congratulations

Can't comment on your job, but if you need to go to the shops you take baby with you! And a baby can't move for the first few months but I recommend you get a travel cot so you can pop baby/toddler in there when you need to take a shower/answer the door etc.
I had no help either and hubby worked long hours and was away frequently. Don't seek perfection - you do your best and that will be fine.

For your job, I would tell them asap, they need to do a risk assessment and I expect there may be some changes to what you can do.

I found its good to get into a routine of putting baby down (I know not all let you!) so they get used to it while you shower etc. I found the baby bjorn bouncer a great place to leave my son in, he loved it.

Do you plan to still regularly see your family? Could you plan for them to visit and maybe schedule things in to go with that. You will get used to doing things like shopping etc with baby too.

I agree about seeing what groups and classes are available and don't be afraid to ask people you like to meet outside of them. You will start to build a little routine once you've got over those initial weeks of being a new mum. Do you have a local mums chat type Facebook group? might also be worth asking if anyone is due around same time and wants to join a WhatsApp group. that type of support from others expecting same time as you is amazing.

I hope your appointment went well too.