Can’t decide whether or not to have a third baby?!

[SFLS301]

Hi!
My husband and I have 2 children; DS is 8 and DD is 3. I am absolutely desperate to have a third child but DH is worried about the finances.
Between us we earn £65k before tax etc and both our jobs are quite flexible so don’t pay for after school clubs etc. DD gets 30 hours free at nursery and DS is in primary school.

We live in a 4 bed house in the north and our mortgage is £650 a month. Our monthly bills including food etc comes to about 2k a month.

My questions are really for those of you who have 3 children, is the financial jump really noticeable?
Do things get easier as they get older? (In terms of money)
What are the biggest expenses you noticed going from 2 to 3?

Thankyou! X

It’s more expensive - car and extra bedroom if you don’t have one.

But it’s really how it clobbers you life, you are spreading your time a lot thinner, which arguably isn’t great for your existing kids. Plus you have big gaps so they won’t want to do the same things.

I would really ask yourself why - are you trying to hang onto the baby stage, and if so why? I think it could cause tension by the sound of it, so I wouldn’t.

Biggest expenses and jump is holidays, eating out / going out, and clothes as they get older and want labels. One pair of trainers for teens can easily cost £100, think about buying three.

But we love having three and we make it work and loving having a tribe

The thing is you don’t really notice when you’re in the thick of it. I’ve never once booked a holiday or gone out for a day trip or bought school uniforms and thought gosh this would be cheaper if we hadn’t had DD. My husband wanted to stop at two but I really wanted a third and she is the light of his life. My boys are grown and moved out and she’s the last one at home, well she’s at Uni but she’s home quite a bit. Perhaps we would have had more money to spend on some things but you just cut your cloth according to your means. I hate to think how empty our lives would seem without her.

It also depends on what your aspirations are for support in the future. Do you want to be able to help them substantially at university, or with deposits for houses? Obviously a third child would make that much harder.

If u want 3rd child,have 3rd child while u can, so u dont regret it later x theyve got couple of years age gap so for example even for collage youll have them one by one there and not all same time x

We have 2dc the same age as yours and a baby. We have about 50k combined income, similar mortgage amount as you for a 4 bed but we pay £650 in nursery fees as well. We don't really notice the financial difference too much (yet) so far it looks just a case of paying nursery fees longer.

Judging by your OP you would be fine financially. You have enough bedrooms so wouldn't have to move, and you're very lucky not to need childcare.

I agree with a PP that you cut your cloth according to your means. I have 3 and can't imagine ever thinking "I wish we'd stopped at 2 because we'd have more money!" even though we have less disposable income than you.
I always wanted 3 and was lucky to have a partner who was on the same page (he would actually like another but I am done now), so I can't comment on the fact that your DH doesn't want a 3rd. However, him saying you couldn't manage financially sounds like an excuse to me.