3mnth mat leave tips

[RV12]

Hi. I'm expecting 1st child in march and planning to take only 3 month mat leave. DH will then take 3mnths and then baby start full time nursery at 7mnth. Taking longer for either of us not really an option for financial reasons. DH showing all signs of being v gd with babies and household stuff so I'm lucky- but I'm still v anxious about how it will work as obv 3 months unusual in the UK and full time work at 4 mnths (50hr +) will be tiring. Anyone have any tips for improving the experience/making it work as best as pos??

I don’t have any personal experience of this but might be worth looking at some American resources? It’s pretty common there to go back before 3 months so I’m sure there are lots of tips floating around the internet.
r/new parents on Reddit has quite a heavy American presence so might be a helpful place to ask?

Interested to hear feedback on this, as I am also planning on going back at three months (can’t really take more time off without severe career impact).

I am considering asking for increased WFH for a few months (to help manage expressing, sleepless nights etc). Could you ask for this?

I’m also going to hire a weekly cleaner to manage washing etc (obviously this will cost money), and otherwise expect very little of myself.

Glad to hear of someone else doing this - bar the other women I work with (who have done similar), the general response so far has been… criticism, which is supportive.

Cleaner is a great call. We preferred Mondays as with us working and child in nursery the house was tidy from Sunday night and clean and tidy till Friday at least.

I'd also set up a weekly and monthly shop.

The usual sleep advice will be key as you are going back early... I used to go to bed about 8 if not earlier...DH would stay up and give a formula feed just before he went to bed (frowned on but baby slept longer on formula than b milk).. Would then sleep through till 4 or later.
Our GP advised this as better option than taking alternate nights... It worked for us.. Not great for social life but kept us rested and sane

I did this twice. Don’t have any specific tips but it was completely fine and I was ready to go back after 3 months.
Make sure you have great childcare lined up, obviously. Many uk nurseries don’t take children that young. We had and have a wonderful nanny which was great peace of mind.

Oh and ignore judgemental people. I normally find saying “oh, I don’t know HOW you could take a long mat leave, it’s such hard work, I picked the easy option haha” normally shuts people up.

I’m doing this too. Pleased not to be the only one as the response from people around me has mostly been shock.

My baby is combi fed so this is less of an issue for me, but if you want to do exclusive breastfeeding you can pump an extra feed every couple of days while you’re on leave and freeze it, for when you go back to work. This would be hard (lots of pumping!) but lots of women in America do it.

Thank you all for supportive comments. I agree BonnieBo- it can be tough with other peers/older gen who could afford to STH looking bewildered and critical. In the long term though I truly think it best for child that parents fulfilled and stable so I don't feel guilt... (yet!).. but just want to make sure I've done all I can to minimise stress where possible so it doesn't break us.
Esp interested in the formula/"normal sleep rules" stuff as that seems like a practical thing I could try to do. I have been considering expressing from day 1 so baby doesn't get fussy over breast not bottle (though I would like to feed it breast milk in a bottle if possible for as long as pos)- but I don't know if that is madness/OTT?? Would simply switching to formula at c2.5 months be feasible instead?
Good call re weekly/monthly shop though- military routine might be a lifesaver as I suspect we will be sleepwalking zombies for much of the time!

Re feeding- You could always do a mix from day 1- some BF, some breast milk in bottle, some formula. That’s what I’ve done and my baby doesn’t care whatsoever, she just loves to eat

That way the baby gets used to all the options.

Yes a routine is helpful, we did Gina Ford and the babies slept through 7-7 with one late feed at 10 at 3.5 and 2.5 months. It was really helpful also because the baby had 3 caregivers in the week (me, DH, nanny) so it was helpful that we were all doing the same thing. We formula fed but originally I was hoping to breastfeed and drop down to just morning and evening and formula feed other times,

All I would say is make sure that you have a plan in case 3 months turns out to be very unrealistic. 6 months is probably almost always do-able but at 3 months after my first child I still had daily pain from birth injuries and was so physically exhausted working to any professional level would have been absolutely impossible

To add, I could have done it 3 months after second child - my point isn't judging, just that you really don't yet know how it will be