Family business + mat leave

[GinnyBee]

Does anyone else work for a small family business? My husband's parents own a small farm that we all work at (I'm part-time, and have another job outside the farm) without other external staff. Our first baby is due in May and I'm now wondering how to go about organising maternity leave. I expect they expect me to keep working however much I can, but I don't particularly want to! We live on site, so that makes it a bit more awkward if I'm just pottering about going to lunches with friends etc. and they're all doing the work. I do a mix of farm work and bookkeeping. The bookkeeping is also quite difficult to delegate to the rest of them, so they'll need to bring someone else in to do it, or I have to keep up with the necessary bits and then tidy up when maternity ends.

I know many self-employed will have to keep working, but I don't have any stake in the business and neither does my husband (yet) so we are technically just normal employees.

We have our big annual meeting next week so I'd like to have some kind of proposal put together by then that is reasonable and fair, but not taking the piss.

Hi op do you have any sort of contract or is it quite informal as its family?
I would suggest set out what you want- would you be eligible for maternity allowance if the buisness couldn't pay you as they needed to bring in a contractor?

As you have 2 jobs you can get leave and pay from both and the leave doesnt have to be at the same time for both. If OP meets the eligibility criteria for SMP then that's what she claims rather than MA.

Think about what time off you want and how close to your due date you want to work until. You don't need to commit to a return date right now and it should be assumed you are taking the full year. If you want to return earlier I think its 8 weeks notice you need to give

Have a read of this section of the gov website. It’ll tell you what you’re entitled to and what you need to do.

Don’t fall into the trap of feeling apologetic or guilty about taking maternity leave because it happens to be a family business. Just make sure you let them know when you intend to start your leave, and if you’ve got a rough idea of how long you plan to take off, it’s helpful to give that, but you absolutely don’t have to.

Telling them now will give them time to sort out proper cover.

Thanks all. I know my legal rights, this is not really a question of what I'm entitled to, but more a social one for how to actually juggle family business responsibilities with maternity leave.

Im in a very similar position and it’s quite stressful. I have no figured out my solution yet so following with interest! X

Hi, I work for a small family business which my parents are the owners of so I understand your predicament.
I do all the bookkeeping & have the same issue that there's no one else in the company it could be handed over to & they are reluctant to hire someone to cover me because it would require them to authorise payments etc which they don't bother with currently as they trust me obviously!
The bookkeeping I can mostly do from home but I also do a lot of work in the office & on the phones that will have to be shared out to the other coworkers.
I think you need to talk to them & explain that they would need to plan for the 'worst' case scenario regardless. If you have a difficult birth you may be unable to do any physical work at all for months anyway so they can't expect to rely on you for that & should plan accordingly to have someone cover you.
It does depend on what you want to do, if you don't want to work for the period of time while you're on maternity leave then just be honest & upfront about it - make sure you husband also supports you as they are his parents & he shouldn't let them complain about your decision as you're entitled to have this time & they should have been anticipating this when you got pregnant.
Someone is going to have to care for the baby 24/7 & if your husband is working then you need to be with the baby so obviously will be taking maternity leave & there's no argument they can make against that. Caring for your baby doesn't mean you have to sit at home the whole time, it's great for the baby's development to go out & get different stimuli and it's important for you too.
I appreciate that in reality these conversations can be difficult but the fact that you're feeling like this probably means that they haven't been considerate enough to you - they should have anticipated & offered you time off for maternity leave as it was obviously going to happen & leaving it to be all your responsibility to even bring up makes it more stressful.
It didn't quite happen that way for me either though. I have decided to work from home doing the bookkeeping but with the understanding that as long as people get paid at the appropriate time, everything else can wait & be done when I've got the time & the first time they cross that boundary they'll be getting an earful from me.
It's not an easy situation to be in as the connection and expectation is different to a 'normal' job and as much as you might want to take all the time you can, the social pressure is absolutely there & unfortunately sometimes parents will take advantage of that and not accept that they should actually be supportive of you taking this time with your child.
It's difficult to feel confident but it wouldn't be taking the piss to take a year out for your maternity leave. Lots of women do & it's not unreasonable, despite what judgement you might feel you'll get from your PIL.
I initially brought up my maternity leave & asked my parents what they would offer. Unfortunately they were vague & non committal so I ended up preparing a proposal myself & then negotiated it with them.
If you feel they won't bother considering then it might be best to be proactive but I do think if it's possible it's helpful to ask what they will 'offer' because it will make them first look at what you're entitled to as a starting point at least. My parents were surprised by how 'much' statutory was 🙄

Thanks so much @jolota ! It's hard, isn't it. I think I will probably offer to do one day a month to keep up with the necessary month end reconciliations and VAT returns, and outsource payroll to a local accountancy firm as I don't really want to be doing that as well. And I will not be doing any farm work outside of harvest time.

Ideally I would like to get paid extra for the KIT days when I do the bookkeeping, but I'm not sure if that seems greedy. I just don't know why else I should offer, and it's still a better solution than getting a new bookkeeper. But, as they themselves don't take any money out the business, it's more a lifestyle change and a retirement project for them, it does often feel like even getting paid at all is some massive favour to us instead of fair compensation for work we do. I've prepared some forecasts for next week's meeting, I might go and tweak those a bit to make sure I have a case.

”Ideally I would like to get paid extra for the KIT days when I do the bookkeeping, but I'm not sure if that seems greedy.”

It’s not remotely “greedy” to want to get paid for working. If they want you to work one day a month then of course they have to pay you for doing so!

@GinnyBee
Yes that's essentially exactly the situation I've agreed to, saves them the hassle of hiring someone else which also saves them money & time! Just by agreeing to this you've made their lives massively easier so try to remember that & make them see it too.
Absolutely not greedy for you to be paid fully for the KIT days, i'm sure it's the law, they have to pay you for working them!
I negotiated a percentage of my salary (above statutory) up to 6 months but I'm still being paid fully on top of that for KIT days.
If that is their attitude then I imagine you will get some push back or at least judgement but really they are in the wrong entirely to act as if you don't deserve to be paid for your work just because it's not a 'job' to them.
I would definitely highlight what you are entitled to as statutory and explain that you get that if you choose not to work at all but you want to help them by using your KIT days to keep things ticking over so they don't have to worry about doing it themselves or hiring cover & should be compensated for that.
Have you discussed with your husband? Does he have any advice on how to approach this with his parents?

Gosh it's not greedy at all! Get them to add it to the next agenda. Send a brief note around d prior to the meeting so they know what you are planning

"I intend to begin mat leave on X date, and as of yet am not sure how may of the 12 eligible months I will take. I would be hally to help recruit a suitable maternity cover and carry out any relevant training ahead of my leave commencing. I am also happy ro use the 10 eligible KIT days as you wish, and would suggest these most beneficial around month-end. Payroll estimates for outsourcing will be provided at the meeting. As maternity leave is not something the organisation has had to navigate before, it may be worth famiarising yourselves with X Y Z links ahead of the meeting - apologies if this is already known to you. I look forward to firming up arrangements at our next meeting"

@jolota Thanks, that's really helpful! Yes, we've discussed it and he also needs a pay rise, so that's another thing to negotiate. They're reasonable people really and whilst his dad is a tight arse, he can be reasoned with. We're now in the stage of transitioning from a tiny startup experiment to a proper business, so we've all been making sacrifices and working for less than market rates to build the business up, but it's time to come out of that and become a 'real' business now, if that makes sense.

We definitely went through that too, hopefully they will understand that you've helped by working for less money but now that your situation has changed you both need to be compensated at the appropriate rate.
As you say, it's a transition but it needs to happen & it's especially important for your family at this stage that you've got the financial stability to feel comfortable.
I think that often parents are so wrapped up in the work & so used to just getting on with it, they forget that it's not possible for everyone else to do that depending on their circumstances but also that you shouldn't be underpaid to support their dream, it's something you & your partner have done out of love but it isn't sustainable long term.

I presume this is your first child, I think you need to ask what you want from this, don't take on too many hours you later then feel bad about not wanting to do. I appreciate it is hard to know pre baby what you will want to do, I found this.

It is funny how when it doesn't feel like a typical normal job you feel greedy or not entitled to say KIT days and time off but you are.

My son is 14 months and I work for a tiny business, basically the only employee with a bookkeeper one day a week at the time. I said I would take 6 months off and do KIT days because I felt bad for asking for more. Covid hit and I was put on furlough and stayed on maternity for months more. I realised for me I needed that time, having a baby is such a special time, it goes so fast and you won't get it back. You are allowed to go for lunch with friends while they work, you will also be up in the night a lot while they are peacefully sleeping! Please don't feel bad for taking your time enjoying your baby.