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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Home Birth

50 replies

Moody123 · 28/12/2021 14:51

Hey!
So I’m currently 23 weeks with my second baby.
My first Labour was really ok, I started at 2am with contractions that woke me up but nothing major till about 6am where then I got a bath and got to 4 mins apart … got to the hospital about 9 and had my son at about 10.
All in all I didn’t mind Labour that much, the most horrible thing was driving to the hospital, I was shouting at my husband for driving the speed limit and he was shouting at me saying he didn’t want to get pulled over (at that point I would have jumped I got he police car, but hey, he was safe and I was in the wrong o get that now!)
Anyway as I had a straight forward birth I have said to my midwife I want a home birth and she was very excited (if possible, I am aware of the risks and that I may be transferred anyway) however I don’t see many people opt for a home birth (about 3% of people) I am wondering why this is … also with COVID about I’m not sure I want to be in a hospital
Has anyone got any home birth stories?

OP posts:

Philandbill · 29/12/2021 13:56

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea sums it up well. If you want research rather than randoms' anecdotes then the Birthplace study is worth a quick google. My random's anecdote is that DD2 was born at home and it was wonderful. After DD1's birth I wasn't a textbook candidate for a home birth but I did the research and decided it was the best option for me. DD2 is a teenager now and I still remember clearly how brilliant her birth was.

JadeTC · 29/12/2021 14:17

I would have happily had a home birth but my house was being renovated during my pregnancy and I found the idea that it might not be 100% finished at the time of the birth too stressful. I ended up having a lovely water birth at the midwife led unit and would love to have a home birth next time. Go for it and good luck!

ChristmasRobins · 29/12/2021 14:24

I had a homebirth with my second- best choice I have ever made. It was wonderful.

My only note of caution is that you should think about the options if you did need to transfer- how far away is the nearest hospital? We lived literally opposite so that wasn't too concerning for us. Another thing I'd think about is a presentation scan- AFAIK these aren't standard on the NHS (may be wrong about this as I had my homebirth abroad).

Createdjustforthis · 29/12/2021 14:26

All three of my children were born at home. I was blessed in that my community midwife delivered two of them and the head of midwifery delivered my first. There is nothing nicer than being tucked up in your own bed immediately post birth with your partner to wait upon you and not be stuck in a postnatal ward with everyone else and their squalling infants.

Leah2005 · 29/12/2021 14:46

I had planned a home birth with my first (and only as it turned out). I was lucky in that we had a midwife unit at our Dr's and they were very supportive. My labour started at 8ish in the morning , midwife turned up about 10 and I laboured all day at home. I had to get pethidine on prescription in advance to keep at home but only used gas and air which midwife brought with them. I had 2 midwives and 1 nearly qualified (just needed to do a home birth) when I got to pushing. In the end, I couldn't deliver him and transferred to hospital about 11pm after about an hour and a half of pushing. I loved being at home for the majority, one midwife travelled with me and DH in the ambulance and another brought him home when I stayed in hospital. They tidied the house, changed our bed and made DH tea and toast before they left him. Really positive experience all around - you just have to be open to the idea that plans may change. I delivered safely in hospital with an episiotomy and would have opted for another home birth if I had had another successful pregnancy. It's a balance of confidence and pragmatism (if you are well through your pregnancy with no contra indications).

sociallydistained · 29/12/2021 14:49

I'm 36 weeks and have a planned homebirth. I so hope it happens! Just had my lovely homebirth midwife round for my 36 week appointment. Hopefully there won't be suspension! The statistics on intervention as soon as you get on hospital is just staggering.

3cats4poniesandababy · 29/12/2021 15:15

TBH the difference between most 'good' births and 'bad' births is the luck of the midwives. Too many midwives treat patients as statistics and textbooks rather than listening to the woman giving birth. Get a good midwives and they are worth their weight in gold but too many tarnish those good few gems.

I also suspect the reason more hospital births result in intervention is due to midwives not listening to woman. Certainly was in my case and most woman within a post-natal depression group I am part off. We all have 1 thing in common - how midwives treated us.

CraftyGin · 29/12/2021 15:20

@Moody123

Hey! So I’m currently 23 weeks with my second baby. My first Labour was really ok, I started at 2am with contractions that woke me up but nothing major till about 6am where then I got a bath and got to 4 mins apart … got to the hospital about 9 and had my son at about 10. All in all I didn’t mind Labour that much, the most horrible thing was driving to the hospital, I was shouting at my husband for driving the speed limit and he was shouting at me saying he didn’t want to get pulled over (at that point I would have jumped I got he police car, but hey, he was safe and I was in the wrong o get that now!) Anyway as I had a straight forward birth I have said to my midwife I want a home birth and she was very excited (if possible, I am aware of the risks and that I may be transferred anyway) however I don’t see many people opt for a home birth (about 3% of people) I am wondering why this is … also with COVID about I’m not sure I want to be in a hospital Has anyone got any home birth stories?

I had a very straightforward first birth - officially 3 hours of labour (we live 20 minutes from the hospital so OK). I just felt that I didn't need to be in hospital.

Next time round, my midwife suggested home confinement, worried that a second birth would be faster (it wasn't). I went on to have 3 home births in total, so obviously this worked for me.

You just need to do a full risk assessment for your personal situation. Few real emergencies start in labour, and for some of these, hospital is not a magical answer.

CraftyGin · 29/12/2021 15:23

@whosaidtha

I'm quite looking forward to a short stay in hospital. Only having to worry about the baby and not my others running wild, no cleaning or jobs to do, food brought to your bed. It'll be like a mini break before back to the reality of two preschoolers and a newborn.

With my hospital birth, I had to clean down the shared toilet before using it. Gross.

At home, you deal with your own germs (and blood).

LadyDanburysHat · 29/12/2021 15:28

I had two home births for DC 2 and 3. They were really calm experiences. You get all the attention on you, not overstretched hospital midwives. DC2s birth in particular was a really great experience.

Useyourname · 29/12/2021 15:50

I had a home birth for my second. First labour was uneventful, but kept ringing the labour ward asking to come in and got told I "sounded too calm" and "didn't seem to be in enough pain yet" and that if I turned up they'd send me home. I eventually rang them to tell them I was pushing ... that was a horrible car journey in, followed by walk to the birth centre, and ultimately I think contributed to birth injuries. I vowed I would never go through that again and planned a home birth for my second, surrounded by midwives and with delicious gas and air.

Contractions increasing for 24 hours, called midwives at 11am and filled pool. Got in and out of pool. By 2pm they said nothing was happening and left. Baby was born at 2:45, delivered by my husband before the ambulance crew or midwives could get back to me. Never did get any gas and air. Bastards.

There were positives - being in your own bed so quickly, not hanging around waiting to be discharged, plenty of food and drink (I'd had HG and immediately after birth I just wanted to eat everything in sight), midwives did an amazing clean up job - but I do look back on it with some trauma as the very thing I wanted to avoid (pushing with no medics and pain relief) is what happened to me.

Also, everyone is different etc etc but I wouldn't describe either of my births as beautiful or joyful ... The first one fucking hurt and the second one really fucking hurt. I distinctly remember sitting in the pool trying to remember who had told me a water birth was bliss because I would need to go and rip their arms off, the liars, it was just wet and fucking painful rather than dry ...

Confused521 · 29/12/2021 17:28

I am planning a homebirth this time. My second labour was in a birthing centre and zero pain relief and this time I live much closer to the hospital so figured "why not!". We've hired a pool, tens machine etc and will hopefully avoid needing to go into hospital at all!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

pickpeckpick · 29/12/2021 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pickpeckpick · 29/12/2021 17:43

I really wanted a homebirth for #2. I ended up having to go to hospital to be induced as was overdue. I was very lucky as baby needed resuscitation and I suffered an almost 8 litre hemmorrage. It is very rare but if I had had a homebirth I would be dead. Possibly baby too.

DramaAlpaca · 29/12/2021 17:54

I had a home birth with my third. It was textbook perfect and one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

The things that made it possible for me and without which I wouldn't have considered it:

A normal, straightforward (but long) labour with DC2
A textbook pregnancy and not being overdue (39 weeks)
Midwife being supportive and a great, experienced home birth team available
The availability of copious amounts of gas and air
Hospital being only a short distance away
DH being supportive and on board
In the absence of family a close friend on call to spirit my older two away when we got close to delivery

LazyDoll · 29/12/2021 17:59

3 babies. 3 home births. 2 with pools. One without. 2 with midwives attending …one without. 2 with gas and air. One with paracetamol. Loved each one for different reasons. Good luck with your birth

Philandbill · 29/12/2021 18:31

@pickpeckpick that sounds very traumatic, what an awful experience. There's lots of research that induction of labour can cause a cascade of interventions, which is why a home birth after induction is never advised. A labour which the woman's body "kicks off" is very, very different to an induced labour.

FinishWhatWeStarted · 29/12/2021 18:33

I had one with my third. It was lovely 😊

yknaps · 29/12/2021 18:39

I've had two homebirths (one planned, one not) and it's worth noting that if you sign-up to the homebirth service, you get your antenatal appointments in your own home - even if you decide down the line that a hospital birth is better for you, you can always switch back.

FTEngineerM · 29/12/2021 18:40

however I don’t see many people opt for a home birth (about 3% of people) I am wondering why this is

First time he got stuck/distressed and needed to have my vag sliced open.

Second time cord was wrapped around his neck in transverse position, he flipped in labour. Needed to have my stomach sliced open.

Both times it all happened so fast, 3 minutes first time, 14 the second. Every woman’s body is different, I think mines shite at giving birth😂 thank the lord for obs and gynae

sandybeaches74 · 29/12/2021 18:40

I had both my babies at home, second was a water birth. They were both lovely ☺️

DockOTheBay · 29/12/2021 18:55

@whosaidtha

Have you ever been in hospital, I've never heard anyone describe it as a "break". I would much rather have a shower in my own home and a cuddle with my baby in my own bed - get a relative to look after the older ones if you can't have them running around.

OP I would have loved a home birth with my second, but my labour was progressing quickly and they couldn't get to me for over an hour so we had to drive to the birth centre (she was born about 45 mins after we called them, so 1 hour definitely would have been too long)

I was very disappointed as I was really looking to just snuggling up in my own bed afterwards, if the staff could have got there the home birth would have been no problem - no interventions/pain relief/monitoring was required.

DockOTheBay · 29/12/2021 18:56

@yknaps

Depends on your area. I didn't have any home appointments and wasn't even able to "officially" sign up for a home birth until 36 weeks.

yknaps · 29/12/2021 19:30

Ah @DockOTheBay I hadn't appreciated differences in area. And possibly with covid too 🤷🏻‍♀️

pickpeckpick · 29/12/2021 19:53

[quote Philandbill]@pickpeckpick that sounds very traumatic, what an awful experience. There's lots of research that induction of labour can cause a cascade of interventions, which is why a home birth after induction is never advised. A labour which the woman's body "kicks off" is very, very different to an induced labour.[/quote]
Yes, that is true in some cases. In my case labour started with just the pessary so no further interventions needed. It wasn't thought to be a factor in the hemorrage, in fact I had none of the risk factors. I understand the desire to have a homebirth and in many situations it would be lovely, but it also carries risk and I am thankful that I wasn't able to make that decision.

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