Panicking about potentially being alone to give birth

[Grumpetvoluntary]

My baby is due in January and they are thinking of inducing me at 39 weeks as baby is measuring small.

However I am really panicking about not being allowed a birth partner. Are they making women have a pcr test prior to inductions? We have no symptoms but I'm concerned about being one of these unlucky people who are randomly testing positive (which seems to be everyone at the moment)

My baby's safety is number one however I absolutely am not prepared to have my baby without my husband there. I know that if he isn't with me I will be distressed which will increase the risk of birth complications.

Anybody with any advice that could talk me down from my worry?

We are testing women when they come in for tomorrow induction but we don't test partners and even if you were positive your partner could come/stay. It's mainly just to know so you don't get put on a shared ward or a shared bathroom and so theatres know in case you end up in there.

Don't know where the random 'tomorrow' came from

My hospital is testing women, and partners need to show proof of a lateral flow test at every appointment if they accompany the woman, same for labour.
I'm booked for an ELCS so different circumstances, but I know if he's not allowed in it's not ideal but doable.
Concentrate on how strong you can be, I wouldn't be thrilled at facing labour alone but there will be medical professionals there to help you. I know you will be distressed, I would be too, but if for some reason he can't physically be there is there a Plan B birth partner? Not likely to be needed but if you have a plan it might help.

You 100% won't be on your own. Most places are saying pcr 2/3 days before booked induction. I would, if you can, hunker down with birth partner (dp/DH?) for two week prior to booked induction.

I was induced in April 2020 right at the height of the first lockdown and the chaos that that brought with it. I had to ring at 8am to check they had a bed. DH dropped me off at 10am and I was on my own. Took iPad, headphones, birth bag etc with me 11am Pessary inserted. Uncomfortable but over quick. 6pm mild period pains. 11pm period pains more intense. Had a bath and 2 paracetamol. 1am waters went spontaneously but with meconium in. 2am contractions now 3 in 10 about 2 min long. Asked for check and was 4cm dilated. Could then phone DH to come to labour ward. He arrived 2.30 am. Contractions coming thick and fast. Had diamorphine at 3am which took edge off but didn't last too long. 5.30M asked for an epidural but midwife checked and said it was too late and I was 10cm and needed to push. 6.30am my healthy beautiful little boy made his way into the world. I was bleeding a lot and doctor came to check and said I needed to go to theatre to have a repair. I had torn from front to back (a 4th degree tear). Baby stayed with DH. I had expressed colostrum so he did skin to skin (after me) and gave him the colostrum. In theatre I had also torn my uterus so had that repaired. In recovery I had a stats crash and was quite unwell. DH was allowed to stay until I was out of recovery (about 11am) I was then moved to an advanced care ward with my baby. Spinal that they gave me in theatre was still in full effect so couldn't feel was it down. DH wasn't allowed into the ward and was sent home. That was the hardest bit for sure! I had a blood transfusion that afternoon. Was kept in for one night and discharged around 3pm the following day. I had to carry bag down to car park and baby was wheeled in a cot by a HCA to car park where DH was allowed to meet us at door entrance.

It was tough but totally doable.

I'm sure now woman can have their birth partners from the start of induction and for a period of time after on post natal ward. It would be a good idea to look at you hospital policy and also read the guidance from the Toyota college of nurses and midwives.

Good luck!

You don’t have to consent to any medical screening or procedures that you don’t want OP. You don’t have to be weighed, you don’t have to be screened for HIV, you don’t have to have the 12 and 20 weeks scans, you don’t have to have vaginal examinations in labour, you don’t even have to have an induction if you don’t want one. You’re going into hospital to have a baby, you’re not a patient. And you definitely don’t have to consent to be screened for covid if you don’t want to be.

You don’t have to consent to being screened for COVID, no. But if you decline then staff will have to treat you as if you were positive, otherwise you are asking them to put themselves at risk.

Your partner in our Trust would need proof of LFT. If you were positive, your partner would still be allowed to attend however they and the midwives would be in full PPE.

If your partner is COVID positive then understandably they wouldn’t be able to attend so it’s a good idea to have a friend or family member lined up as a plan B.

OP I feel for you as I am in a very similar boat, booked in for induction at 37 weeks 2 days which is on 8th January. I am currently Covid positive and really hoping my DH doesn't come down with it before then. He is tripled jabbed and doing daily laterals, all negative so far. I honestly don't know what I'll do if I can't have him there. I don't have another choice. Hoping I might be able to push back my induction a few days if he does get it. I would suggest you and your partner trying to limit contact in the run up to limit your chances of catching it. Best of luck x

Solidarity OP. Been living this nightmare since Omicron exploded.

I'm being induced in 2 days and had to attend today for a Covid PCR.

If I'm positive then birth partner can still come but needs to be negative on lateral flow.

Hospital strongly recommends lateral flow for birth partners anyway but I'm not sure how strict they are. We will do it because it feels like the right thing to avoid exposing staff.

My partner works outside of the home so we can't fully self-isolate, although we are doing it as much as possible, both triple vac, etc.

I got the full lowdown from my midwife at our last appointment and asked lots of questions - policies will vary by trust.

Due on the 3rd and terrified of having to go it alone because husband is having to work retail right up to due date. I've locked myself away and only go outside to walk the dog twice a day. What else can we do?

Tbh I'm fine with giving birth alone. It is what it is and we would just have to go with it. We'd never literally be alone with all the medical staff anyway.

I had my twins alone - it was an emergency and no time for DH to get there as have an older child and it was during a lockdown And no friends or family local enough to get there to do childcare. I had a massive bleed and they were literally out within 15 minutes

Honestly though I'm much better in a crisis than DH. You'll be surprised how strong you really can be when it's required

Pregnant then screwed posted today on insta stories about campaign to prevent women being forced to birth alone again due to covid. There are people working to ensure women do not have to birth alone like they did earlier in pandemic. Think there was a link on the insta story to report your hospital trust if they refuse to allow you to have a birth partner with you.

@Makingnumber2 the circumstances in which a birth partner would be refused is if the partner was COVID positive. You can hardly expect the midwifery and obstetric team to willingly expose themselves to COVID when it’s not necessary - on what grounds would this be reportable?

@Makingnumber2 but the birth partner isn't the patient... so if the birth partner tests positive for Covid before the birth why would start want to risk the exposure of a new born to Covid ? Go for it. Report your trust for not allowing your Covid positive partner with you at the birth of your baby and see how many people agree with you..

Sorry I think I’ve not communicated very clearly- I mean any trust refusing a woman a birth partner full stop and using covid as the reason for forcing her to birth alone should be reported. Of course they can’t be expected to allow a covid positive partner in! Back up birth partners need to be on standby in the unfortunate event your first choice tests positive.

But trusts aren’t refusing birth partners full stop. Many Trusts don’t allow partners on the antenatal ward for early labour but as soon as a woman is moved to a delivery room for active labour, partners are allowed in every Trust I know of, provided they have a negative test.

Well all I know is pregnant then screwed had it on their insta stories about reporting any trust who were refusing any birth partner at all which suggests to me perhaps they have been made aware some trusts are or were planning a return to this.

Thanks everyone, I feel reassured that ensuring women have a birth partner seems to be a priority. I was worried that talk around it may have died down and trusts may have backtracked.

I've now managed to speak to my hospital antenatal unit who have confirmed that the only way my husband couldn't be there is if he tests positive. I presume they will only require him to have a lateral flow, not pcr unless symptomatic obviously. It doesn't seem to be a problem at all if I test positive- just means isolation in a private room the whole time.

To be honest I don't think I would choose an alternative birth partner if my husband couldn't be there but that's just me probably being silly.

To everyone else due to imminently experience birth, I hope it goes well for you all and you can have your chosen person with you.