Unplanned pregnancy - complete shock

[LT543]

Hi all, I found out on Monday I’m pregnant which took me by complete surprise, it wasn’t planned and I think I’m still in shock. I’ve calculated I’m 6 weeks tomorrow. I’m really struggling to process it/believe it.

I’m 30, financially secure, long term partner and we have our own house. We’d talked about starting to try in a couple of years time. It just feels a bit sudden and early? Has anyone else been in a similar position?

Side note, I’m also very concerned that I’ve been drinking heavily and vaping prior to finding out!

Not really sure what I’m asking for, but would be good to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position!

I was in this position and I’m now 21 weeks and so looking forward to meeting our baby girl in May.

I won’t lie, I was in total shock for the first few days, DP and I weren’t yet living together but we’d just had an offer accepted on the house we moved into last month. We weren’t exactly trying but knew we wanted to when we moved in, and I had it in my mind that it would take a long time to conceive as my mum struggled to get pregnant with me, and we are a bit older at 33 (me) and 40. We conceived the first time we dtd without contraception, and I just couldn’t believe we had been so lucky, but it was also a shock!

How does your DP feel about it?

I think that it is always going to be a bit shocking, and feel sudden because it is a life changing event. It is surreal because up until now you’ve just observed it happening to other people and not yourself, that is how I felt and still feel sometimes, but I’m getting more used to it as time goes on and I have scans, and actually look pregnant.

This has been a bit of a brain dump from me but I hope it helps, you certainly aren’t alone in feeling like this and it takes time to get your head around it.

I wouldn’t worry about the drinking and vaping at this stage, plenty of people do before finding out they’re pregnant and the embryo is largely unaffected at this stage.

@TashieWoo thank you for replying. Really helpful to know that feeling so shocked isn’t uncommon. It’s starting to sink in a bit more now for both me and DP. I think it’s taken him a bit longer because he’s obviously got no constant physical reminders (I’ve got severe bloat, sore boobs and the odd period type cramps).

I actually booked a 6 week private scan for tomorrow the day I found out as I was in so much disbelief I needed someone to tell me the 5 pregnancy tests I took weren’t lying! Now I’m wondering if I should go as I’ve seen lots of people on here have said they just left worried as it was too early to see foetus/HB. I think I’ll go anyway just to get that confirmation to help with acceptance!

And apologies I meant to say many congratulations!!

Congratulations! I just wanted to say that even when a pregnancy is planned it is often a shock! We had been trying for about a year when I got pregnant. Even though we had been trying, it was still a massive shock to see that line and realise I was going to be responsible for another human life. I know the shock is worse for you because you weren't trying, but it's perfectly normal. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Thank you! That’s reassuring to hear :-)

Glad I could help @LT543, thanks for the congratulations and sorry for the late reply, I’ve only just seen that you replied to me message!

Did you go for your scan? I had a private scan at 7+4 and that really helped me (and my mum!) to come to terms with it.

@TashieWoo I did I thought I was 6+1 but they dated me at 4+4 which actually makes more sense as I typically have quite long cycles and the dates seem to make more sense re conception. I’m going to go back for another one towards the end of next week when I’ll be 6+4 as should be able to see viability. How are you finding your pregnancy?

Sorry I should have said given it was so early all they could see was gestational and yolk sac, no foetal pole!

Good luck OP! Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. It's sounds like are embracing it and getting excited about it.

I know two people who didn't know they were pregnant until 5 months gone.

And I work with someone who didn't know she was pregnant until she was in A&E giving birth . I can't tell the story in case she's on here, but it's absolutely true and that was one hell of a shock!

Wow, makes me grateful I had a longer period to get used to it!! It’s sunk in now although don’t want to start getting overly excited until a viability scan. Thank you for the reassurance!!