Should I announce after 20 weeks scan ?

[Hotfudgebrownie]

Hey All,
I’m 14 weeks. I’ve had a couple of private scans already and my NHS 12 week. I’ve also had the NIPT Harmony test which showed low probability for the trisomy conditions ( less than 1 in 10,000). Sonographers seems happy with the scans and nothing negative mentioned in except for a very small fibroid.
My question is how likely is it something serious/severe will be picked up in the 20 week scan? I’d like to announce my pregnancy soon but do feel anxious before the anomaly scan. I’m starting to feel like the anxiety will probably never go away and it’ll be one thing after the other so it’s probably best to just do it now. When did you announce your news ?

If you are fairly slim you are unlikely to be able to hide it much longer. I told people at 14 weeks and a couple of people said they had spotted my shape change by that point.

We only told people after our 20 week scan

I'd not 'announce' it. Sounds a bit precious to be honest.

@satci

I'd not 'announce' it. Sounds a bit precious to be honest.

It's precious to tell people "we have some news, I'm pregnant"? Did you just wait until you bumped into people in the street with your buggy?

Do what feels right for you, we didn't tell anyone until after the 20 week scan.

My sister told me before the pee dried on her pregnancy test.

We're all different so it's best that we do what feels right for us.
Just be aware that if you tell some people, unless you are certain they are to be trusted, then the news may filter out so decide how much that would bother you.

I waited until after my 20 week scan to tell most people as I was convinced there was going to be something "wrong" with my baby. There was, but nothing we couldn't deal with. I now have a gorgeous 9 month old boy who I wouldn't change for the world. It all depends on whether the results of the 20 week scan matter in terms of continuing your pregnancy. Also, if something is found, you may be glad to have some support from others

Yes that’s what’s happening now. My mum can’t help but tell people because she’s so excited so I feel it’s probably best for me to do it myself.

Told my mum at 6 weeks, DH's family at 10ish, everyone else at 12weeks. Do what's comfortable for you.

Yes it is very precious. I don’t think the fact of me telling people I’m pregnant would take away from that fact.

I felt exactly the same as you. My plan was to announce after 20 weeks but when it came to it, I just wasn't ready. Everything was perfect with the scan, I just didn't feel ready yet. I actually ended up announcing at 33 weeks and I'm so glad I did. But by that time I felt massive (luckily due to COVID I hadn't really seen a lot of people and I'd been able to hide it under jumpers up to that point) and I was ready to start having hopeful conversations about the successful arrival of a real baby, whereas up to then it didn't feel real. Do what feels right. See how you feel after the 20 week scan and if you still don't feel right, wait until you do. You won't regret it.

Good luck!

@Arthurbear0306

I waited until after my 20 week scan to tell most people as I was convinced there was going to be something "wrong" with my baby. There was, but nothing we couldn't deal with. I now have a gorgeous 9 month old boy who I wouldn't change for the world. It all depends on whether the results of the 20 week scan matter in terms of continuing your pregnancy. Also, if something is found, you may be glad to have some support from others

Hey, thank you for responding. I wouldn’t end my pregnancy unless something was found making them incompatible with life. That’s why I was just querying how likely is something like that may be picked up at 20 weeks with all tests and scans being ok so far.

@Dextersmumhasgotitgoingon

I felt exactly the same as you. My plan was to announce after 20 weeks but when it came to it, I just wasn't ready. Everything was perfect with the scan, I just didn't feel ready yet. I actually ended up announcing at 33 weeks and I'm so glad I did. But by that time I felt massive (luckily due to COVID I hadn't really seen a lot of people and I'd been able to hide it under jumpers up to that point) and I was ready to start having hopeful conversations about the successful arrival of a real baby, whereas up to then it didn't feel real. Do what feels right. See how you feel after the 20 week scan and if you still don't feel right, wait until you do. You won't regret it.

Good luck!

Yeah at this point I feel like I might announce I was pregnant at his 1st birthday party haha pregnancy is just so anxiety provoking so I don’t know if I’m being over cautious or other people feel the same

I've told different people at different points. My pregnancy was IVF so I told a few people who supported me through the process during 2ww. I told close ish friends after my 12 week scan and anyone else it's 'come up with in the meantime but I've not 'announced' it to wider circle or work colleagues yet and will wait until after 20 week scan before doing so.

We waited until after 20 week scan. We would have happily told close family earlier but too hard on them to keep quiet for such a long time. Basically, tell anyone you are happy knowing about a miscarriage (if the worst should happen). If you wouldn't want them to know you had lost a baby, don't tell them. You only get away with this until you are obviously pregnant though! I'm skinny and we made it to 20 weeks with DC2. Luckily it was winter though - baggy jumpers are vital!

I'd say it's fairly unlikely to find something that would make them incompatible with life at your 20 week scan. Obviously it does happen but I'd say it's rare. I work in a midwifery setting and only see it a couple of times a year.
Like I said, if something like a heart condition wouldn't make you terminate, I'd tell people, eg family, friends & your employer, earlier. It's always good to have the support around you if you find a problem.

We announced our first pregnancy at around 16 weeks after having a couple of private scans and the NHS 12 week scan/screening which all came back good. Unfortunately at the 20 week scan our son was found to have severe problems with his brain, which would have left him in a vegetative state his whole life. I really wish we hadn’t told as many people about the pregnancy, as I found it devastating having to then tell people that we had to say goodbye to him at 29 weeks. I am currently pregnant again and do not plan on telling anyone except our parents for as long as physically possible, luckily I didn’t show until I was about 6 months last time so I am hoping for similar this time. I don’t want to worry or scare you as what happened to us is rare, I just wanted to let you know my personal experience. Wishing you the best of luck in your pregnancy.

I couldn’t hide it much past 14 or 15 weeks, people spotted the bump

I’m 24 weeks with twins, I’ve told people as I’ve seen them, but I’ve been terribly anxious all the way through that something will go wrong so I haven’t done an announcement. I’ll be got a 24 week scan on Wednesday so will announce it after that, all being well. I feel a bit better now that I feel them move and I can identify who’s who as to where they’re moving. It feels a bit more real and a bit safer, and there are people who I don’t necessarily see often who I’d like to know.

I only told immediately family before the 20 week scan, and even after that, I didn't 'announce' my pregnancy as such, just didn't hide it. I'd been at a close family members 20 week scan when they received terrible news, and I didn't want to have to explain to people if the same happened to me. I didn't show until nearly 6 months, so it was pretty easy to hide.

We never announced it per se but told one set of parents after 12 weeks, some people at our wedding a few weeks later and then anyone else, as we saw them (have a thing about telling people in person) after that. Didn't end up telling my own mum until last month at 8 months because she kept promising to come over but now isn't due to visit until after he's here!!! Told work yesterday and it's not public knowledge on social media (I don't think it ever will be tbh...feels a bit weird!).

Enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations 🎊

Congratulations! Personally I wouldn't make a huge announcement, but that's just me, if that is something you wish to do, go ahead.

Didn't tell a soul until we heard the heartbeat at 16week midwife check and even then only told parents. Everyone else after 20weeks though very cautiously as personally would have preferred to get to 24week viability