I think I'm being ridiculous but here goes.
I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant, 4th time lucky hopefully after 3 1st trimester MCs.
For some reason I'm still hung up on the 2nd MC, which took bloody ages and was quite traumatic. My brother in law and his partner told family they were expecting in the middle of it all (not their fault, we hadn't told them) and we have a lovely nephew, but it was hard. Not the best way to spend your first wedding anniversary.
I haven’t bonded with this pregnancy at all. I don't feel like I should be having a baby now. I should be running around after an almost-2 year old. I can't seem to shake it or look forward to this one. It doesn't feel like my life.
I'm waiting for therapy (midwife referred me, maternal mental health service won't see Mr as I don't fit their criteria so waiting for the regular CBT service to start in January). Not really sure how that's going to help.
I know I need to get over it and embrace this pregnancy but I can't even look at those week-by-week development things, I've only read one book (Expecting Better, which helped calm some of my nerves around doing/eating the wrong thing).