35 weeks, 4th baby and really struggling

[Motherbride]

Hi, I’m just looking for some support or advice.. I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby, eldest is 4 so it’s been back to back pregnancies. (This is the last one!!) and honestly I’m not coping very well at all.

I’m so exhausted all the time, everything hurts, my brain cannot function I can’t remember the simplest of things and am literally at the point that I’m thinking I’m seeing things that aren’t there. Not drastic things but out of the corner of my eye, and have to blink or relook for my brain to focus.

My littlest one is 14 months, very clingy and doesn’t sleep well, ends up in our bed every night and still has 3 bottles a night and gets up between 4-4.30 every morning.

2 toddlers and 3 school runs a day is killing me. I haven’t been able to slow down at all or rest ever. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 3 hours in a row for the entire pregnancy.
I can’t keep on top of the housework, I feel dizzy if I stand for more than a few minutes which obviously I have to do all day. Every evening I want to cry when it comes to the dinner/bedtime routine because I just have nothing left. Partner works long hours so it’s usually me on my own, even on weekends.

I’m just so done, and I want it to be over. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next potential 5 weeks. I’m thinking of asking for an induction at 37/38 weeks, but do you think they’d do that? I’m under consultant led care and have my next growth scan on Wednesday when I’ll be 36 weeks.

I’m just struggling so badly and don’t know what to do

Did you imagine it would be different having four children under 4?

Goodness me that sounds exhausting.
I’m sorry, I don’t know, but perhaps it’s a good idea to chat to your midwife? They’re there to support you. Might check your iron levels etc, or know of other support. Do you know other mums/dads who might do one of the school runs when they collect their own children? Or friends/family who could drop off dinner/play with the kids for a bit while you sit down?
Hope you manage some rest this evening.

Awh I feel ya! I'm 30 weeks pregnant with no4! My youngest is 14 months too.. oldest is 6. I'm exhausted, hormonal and snappy. I have mum guilt nonstop!
I think the next 3 years are gonna be much the same xx

Have you thought about sleep training your 14 month old? At that age no child needs nourishment during the night (with the exception of specific disability). It'll be incredibly tough for a handful of nights, but at that age it's really straightforward (we did Ferber, it took 3 nights till sleeping through).

Sorry you feel so crap, it sounds really tough. I know that sleep training sounds overwhelming right now, but you owe it to your other children to do something about it. If your DH is a decent man, he'll take it on himself so you can rest.

Sounds exhausting. I feel for you.

Sounds like you need some help.

Friends/family who can help with the kids and school runs?
Sharing school runs with another mum?

Can you afford a cleaner for a couple of hours a week to help?

Thanks @Zorya, I’m going to speak to them on Wednesday and might ask for another blood test, I’ve got an under active thyroid and vitamin d deficiency which obviously isn’t helping! So might need those checked. As for support, I hate asking for it! I know that’s my issue but everyone’s got so much on their plate at the moment I don’t want to ask!

@Stopcallingmemum oh bless you! It’s good to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’m very hormonal and snappy too, have no patience for the kids and feel a lot of mom guilt for that!!

@MrsColon sleep training is actually something I said I would do before the new baby came but just haven’t.. I’ll have to look into all the techniques because I don’t know where to start!

Gosh do you have GD...?
The dizzy when standing doesn't sound great.

Agree you need to think about sleep training your 14 month old three times a night is a lot can you give a bottle closer to bed? And stretch the feeds. The friends I know with one year old do any night feeds (they are def sleep trainers though)

I think you need to see if there are any ways to simplify your life. Eg only cook 15 min dinners
"Picnic lunches"

And also try and set up a cleaning tidying or laundry system. As an example of what mean we know have three baskets in our bathroom (black lights colours) each has a laundry bag attached inside the lid (socks and knickers go in the mesh laundry bag) this reduces sort time when washing and hanging out by a huge amount and was a laundry game changer for me

I feel for you but you really have to help yourself here. Get rid of the bottles altogether and the 14 month old in your bed. You will be completely knackered with a newborn in the mix too so night times need to be sorted for your own sanity! It will be hard but you can do it.

Definitely not alone! Aha
I give my 14 month old water at night in her cot.. then she mainly finds it her self and goes back to sleep.. unfortunately she's still in my room in the cot.. I've decided after Xmas she'll get moved in with her sister lol just do what you've gotta do to get sleep xx