positive stories of having a newborn please

[Hayleyday]

everything see online is doom & gloom to the point i am terrified at 34 weeks thinking i will never be happy again,
would love to hear from anyone who didnt find newborn life that tough & tips for managing it
(DP will be off work for 4 weeks)

I found it really really tough. But if you have a placid bsby that doesn't cry much, doesnt get wind and sleeps a lot its probably a breeze. I wouldn't know.

I absolutely adore having my much wanted newborn baby who is now 4 months! I want to go back in time and hold her hold her hold her even more! She is delightful and whilst it isn't easy, it's much easier than I thought because I have a great partner and very low expectations of achieving anything other than looking after the baby all day in whatever form that takes. We've recently started attending a couple of outdoor mother and baby groups and love that too. Spending our days doing skin to skin and bonding are amazing.

Both times I’ve found the first two weeks with DH off work were lovely, I really treasured that time together as a family. DH cooked nice meals every night, we snuggled up on the sofa with the baby watching films, took it in turns to sleep, went for walks with the pram to buy coffee and cake. Having your DP off for 4 weeks is great and after that point you should hopefully feel much better prepared to go it solo when he’s at work.

In general though I think you do just have to be prepared for it to be a bit of a rollercoaster. Some days will be a struggle, some will be amazing, most will be a mix of both. It’ll depend largely on how well your baby sleeps I think.

Newborns are amazing. They smell wonderful and a newborn in winter is so perfect and snuggly x I have 4 and loved newborn stage every time.

Newborns are amazing - I had twins - yes it's tiring but it's also the best thing you'll ever do.

Mine was easy compared to what I’d read on here, very chilled.

However no one can know what’s coming because despite babies being babies they are fundamentally different people. It’s a bit like me comparing what it’s like being married to my DH when you might have a totally different view.

I hope this doesn’t sound harsh but in your shoes I’d have some proper conversations with your partner about realistic expectations about baby sleep and night waking, your approaches to unwelcome family advice, how you will split domestic chores, how you can work together to make sure you both get time to wash dress and eat. Get Amazon prime ready and stock up on non perishable groceries and toiletries. Research the fourth trimester, colic, reflux, silent reflux and cows milk allergy. Learn the basics of prepping a bottle of this is something you might need to know. Practice car seat installation and pram folding. These are all things that will help when and if you have any issues and will make life feel a bit easier no matter who your baby is.

With my second born I had no moments of utter exhaustion or despair

Had c section, came home next day, walked on beach day after

It was the most beautiful tender time in my life and also my husbands too. Yes we were tired but there were no fuck I can't do this moments like we had with our first born

In fact it gave us both closure after such a terrible experience with our first

Get a nice dimmable night light to make the night wakings more comfortable xx

If it was that bad noone would ever have any more. Simple but true.

It's the best OP. Some of the happiest weeks of my life. Honestly I had never felt such love or joy, and now at 13 months it's getting better every day.

It's really tough. But it doesn't last that long. You'll be fine.

It's lovely. It's a big life change, obviously, but it's lovely.

Lower your housekeeping standards. Make sure your husband does his share.
The baby needs a safe sleep space, to be cuddled, kept warm and clean, and fed. You need to rest and recover.

Enjoy cuddles, box sets, snacks and dozing in the day when you can. The nights can be tough but you'll cope. Don't stress about feeding. Do what's right for you.

You'll soon adapt to the new routine!

It was fine. I was a bit bored, but quite liked lying around watching Love Island and mooching about with tiny DS in his sling. He liked to nap on the go, so we went out on all kinds of adventures. I showered, wore makeup, and got dressed every day - I used to put him in a little baby lounger on the bathroom floor and chat away to him while I washed my hair or did my brows - sometimes he even came in the shower with me. He still loves showers as a toddler! I also bought an insulated mug so my hot drinks were always hot and my cold drinks were always cold. I didn't have any time for this "no more hot tea" guff. He was also a reasonably good sleeper - I was getting 5 hour stretches from about 4 weeks, so I was never super sleep deprived.

I had two friends on mat leave and a friend who was funemployed, so we used to go for coffees together or just hang out at each others houses. I also used to pump and then leave DS with DH for an hour or two in the evenings and weekends - went to get my nails done, dropped by a friend's birthday party etc.

Oh my goodness I am so sorry about saying about ending your life I thought I was replying to another post !!

It gets a lot easier when they’re about 4 but before that there’s lots of happiness and you love them to pieces. It is tough going with lack of sleep and general feeding, entertaining and stopping them from launching themselves from heights etc

My first was relaxed blissful fun - I had more rest than I'd had for years, and I enjoyed every minute.

My second was harder - she was colicky, a bottle refuser and would incredibly frequently until about 18m. It was still a fantastic time though.

There's nothing quite like the exhilaration of those first two weeks to me. I could just do it on repeat for life 😃

Toddlers though, they are tough. But they give a lot back as well.

As a mummy of newborns 20 years ago I still think routine really does make life easier. We bathed ,bottle, bed by 730 and yes they all woke up by 10 but by 12 months they all slept well until 7 am . Newborns are unpredictable but lots of cuddles are key.💐

I wouldn't describe it as tough but as others have said, I do find it boring and lonely. I also think it is a total lottery as to whether you have a low need or high need baby and we got lucky with a fairly low need one. I'm always busy and have little to no time to sit down and do 'nothing' or relax, but the days are very repetitive doing the same thing over and over. They feel long as well, I think partly because you're up in the night too.

Tips:
Get yourself booked into some baby classes so you can meet other local new mums. I started them around 5/6 weeks. You can always stop them if it isn't for you.
Actively try to make new friendships - going for a walk and a coffee can be the difference between an okay day and going out of your mind.
Get out of the house every day regardless of the weather, it helps.
Have some headphones and some good audio books/podcasts in preparation for a LOT of walking.
Start expressing or using formula in bottles early on so your baby is used to them. This will give you freedom to leave him/her for short periods of time when you want to.
With above, start leaving your baby with your partner from early on for short periods of time so he gets confident with independently looking after him/her. This will help balance your contribution to baby care.
Read about wake windows and try following them to see if it works for your baby. From about 8 weeks we've had a more predictable routine which has really helped with being able to get on with life a bit.

I would also say try to just go with the flow. Follow your baby's lead, especially in the beginning, and try not to worry about when things (sleep - you'll be obsessed with it) change. Everything is a phase, the good and the bad, and much of the time trying to influence it is pointless and energy consuming. Going with the flow helps reduce emotional strain and demand I think.

There are lots of enjoyable bits but going into it knowing there will be ups and downs is probably sensible. Also, as cheesy as it is, it's true what they say in that when they start smiling at you it does make it worthwhile. Good luck!

Ah I loved every minute (after the first two days I have to add). Even night feeds just me and then all snuggled. Oh good I think I'm getting British agajn! Stop me!! Toddlers are twats, newborns are bloody lovely 😄

Ok the typos in there are hilarious!!

Broody!! Not British! And you can probably translate the rest. This is why I shouldn't type at 4am when I have insomnia

So much good advice here.

The worst thing people said to me was ‘enjoy every minute’. Literally the most unrealistic expectation EVER. Impossible. I’d tried for years for a child, had IVF and several miscarriages and I really did think I would enjoy every minute. Then I didn’t. I loved some but, yes but I also hated aspects of it - the domestic drudgery, the unpredictability of a colicky baby, the sleep deprivation, the frumpy breastfeeding clothes and massive boobs/ugly bras. I felt like a total failure for not enjoying it more, and I constantly beat myself up about that. I wish people had been more honest with me.

It’s beautiful but can be tough. You might love having a newborn - great. You might hate it and that’s ok too. Find people you can speak honestly to about how you feel - other mums, DH, family etc. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way. Enjoy the good bits and know that the rubbish bits will pass and fade from memory mostly. Remember to meet your own needs.

Also, your baby is an individual. Get to know them instead of worrying about the exact details of a routine or the next milestone according to a book. They might be easy going, they might be intense. They might be by the book and follow a routine, they might not.

I’m currently breastfeeding DC#2 (10 weeks) and DC#1 (3) is asleep in the bed next to me holding tightly to my arm. It’s beautiful but I’m also tired. The closeness is everything but I’d also love a night’s sleep by myself. Babies are magical for sure, but there’s also nothing magical about finding yourself, your child, the bedsheets and carpet all covered baby shit at 6am (true story).

I survived and now have a lovely, entertaining toddler who mostly sleeps quite well.

I didn't find the newborn stage tough. I was tired, but some people get lucky and have easy babies. Don't put pressure on yourself or have expectations and take each day as it comes.

Some days DH would come home from work and I'd have done everything, other days absolutely nothing so he'd take them and sort food to give me a breather. Most days were in between, it was definitely an enjoyable time in my life.

My DS is 1 month old today & these last 4 weeks have been the most incredible time of my life. He is our first child & while there have been some (very) wobbly moments, DP & I have got through them.

We have so much joy & love in our lives now, we absolutely loved being a couple but being a family of 3 is just something special. Watching DS grow & explore his new world every day is just awe inspiring.

Just to add the main thing I would've done differently is limit visitors for the first couple of weeks. We had family & friends coming round almost every day & I do feel a little sad that we didn't have time just us 3, we can never get that time back unfortunately.

Also please ask for support if you need it. It can all get overwhelming at times & there's no shame in saying you need help.