Son is 5 months and I'm pregnant again.

[laurenah]

I'm just posting for some advice really. I already have a 5 month old son and I found out today im pregnant again. I was on the pill so this is hugely unexpected! I am really shocked and I have mixed feelings. I feel like they're definitely too close together and that maybe I'm making a mistake by thinking I could cope. I have a supportive partner but I would love some advice please. Maybe story's of your own would be great. Thanks

I went back to work 6 months after DS was born - and pregnant...!
There is 15 months between my older two and it was brilliant but VERY hard work!

There's 11 months between mine! I was so scared and the first year went by in a blur. Everything is a phase OP, it'll be difficult initially but then it passes. It's been a privilege and an adventure so far and nearly 5 years in we will soon be adding to the clan. Good luck OP !

14 mths between my eldest two and then 18mths between DC 3&4.

Perfect gap in my view

I knew I wanted another baby, by the time by first DS was four mths, we waited a little while, I was pregnant on his first birthday. No regrets in having them close. Good luck OP

If you're happy and want another child then the small age gap is something you will absolutely get used to and you'll manage it.

My concern is that you say partner and not husband. What is your work/financial situation? If you're not married and you've got 2 under 2, then you need to make sure you're protected. Dont give up work. Split childcare costs evenly (percentage split according to salaries).

Dont give up your job and career prospects to do the child rearing whilst he can continue to climb in his career and earn. If things go wrong, he'll be fine but you will he back at the bottom of the ladder with no split of assets from a divorce.

@CaMePlaitPas Aw this is so nice. I feel like you don't often hear people describe parenting as a privilege - which I truly think it is. My daughter is 3 months old and I'm considering when to have my second which I definitely do want but am frightened of doing! To hear you describe it this way is so heartwarming!

Hey op. I don't have much advice but what i can say is i was in a similar situation 10 years ago. My second daughter was 6-8 weeks when i fell pregnant with my third daughter, i was considering an abortion but changed my mind and im glad i did. It was difficult at time's because they're 11months apart so having two babies to deal with was tricky, but I wouldn't change a thing. Just got with what your heart tells you. Xx

I second a lot of the above posts, my youngest 2 are 11 months apart...I really enjoyed having them close. It is difficult but definitely doable

Thank you for all the replies. I am still not sure what to do, there are positives and negatives to it. I'm struggling to make a decision unfortunately.

My daughter had babies 10 months apart - they were both born in 2020.

She had consecutive maternity leaves without going back to work.

She's back at work now and is in a good routine.

It's getting easier.

She was very stressed throughout her last pregnancy worrying if she could cope but seems to have taken everything in her stride. She also has a 5 yr old.

@laurenah

I had been going through the exact same thing 7 years ago. Have been on a pill and got pregnant..my baby was 6 months old and I had a positive test so I see where you come from ...theres so much to consider and balance but one thing is for sure I would not have it other way. Now, mine are 6, and 7 a boy and a girl and ( 15 month s apart ) the best part is they are best friends and is the best thing you could give to eachother, a sibling. I remember I was so worried how am I going to make it ..also felt so guilty that I might not give to much to my first child once the second comes along...now they do their homework together ...they pretty much did everything together like getting out of nappies potty training etc was like in one go...so hang on you are doing an amazing job already! 🤗

13.5 months between mine.. I'm not going to lie that first year was hard and I hit some lows, but they always had company and once they were talking, or running it got more fun. They're in their teens now and I'm so glad they were close in age, meant they liked similar activities at the same time and no massive height differences so can go on rides etc when out.

Unfortunately I think I'm starting to miscarry so the decision is no longer in my hands😔 Thank you everyone x

I'm so very sorry to hear that.

How are you doing? Thinking of you

So sorry to hear that.. hope your ok

@laurenah

Unfortunately I think I'm starting to miscarry so the decision is no longer in my hands😔 Thank you everyone x

Oh this is such a sad thread. I hope you’re ok, Op. What a rollercoaster you’ve been on x

Sorry to hear your update OP

Just to add to the thread, 13.5 months between my two. The first 18 months were excruciatingly difficult but I'm on easy street now with them being so close in age.

Hello everyone! Thank you for the support. I ended up having a miscarriage so it was upsetting but its out of my control unfortunately! Thank you for the replies, its appreciated z

OP, I'm sorry