Christmas party dilemma

[Pickle0901]

Hi all,
It sounds absolutely ridiculous but I'm going to be 9 weeks at my work Christmas party, so can't tell anyone yet but, i feel the fact I can't drink will be a huge issue or will make it obvious.

I know I should just be able to say I don't want to drink but with covid and the fact we haven't been together, it feels almost like I'll appear anti-social or a party pooper... as everyone is talking about us all having drinks together finally.

I don't like to lie about things so I don't want to make up something but it's definitely too early to say anything and I don't know whether to order a wine with my meal and just sort of push it around all night and hope no one notices. I've contemplated saying I'm on antibiotics but that seems wrong, because I don't want to actively lie.

Anyone else in my predicament or understand where I'm coming from? I feel I'm avoiding a lot of social situations and conversations at the moment because I don't know what to do. I know it sounds ludicrous, as I'm a grown adult but I'm sure you know what I mean, especially at Christmas time.

Any advice? Xx

Dont go down the antibiotics route- it's basically code.

Carry a drink. Either something that looks like gin and tonic / non alcoholic cocktail / wine (that you dont actually drink etc).

If you have a very close friend going who does know, swap drinks with her.

Alternatively, if its somewhere you could drive to, then just say "I'm driving because I'm picking dh up from his works night out afterwards" or something.

When I was in your situation I ordered a rose wine with lemonade for the meal (had a few sips)..

Then ordered double tonics in a gin glass (told everyone I was dieting and so was trying not to drink wine).

I'm a notorious wine drinker but also weight conscious so no one questioned me!

Tell them you don't drink anymore
Drive
Say you have to be somewhere tomorrow and leave when everyone starts getting pissed
Tell them you're trying to get pregnant
Tell them to leave you the fuck alone

That last one is for those really annoying ones who don't take no for an answer

I pretended I was on the gin just in case that wasn't clear 🤣

Or get a koppaburg alcohol free in a pint glass or a becks blue but poured into a glass

@CloudyStorms

That last one is for those really annoying ones who don't take no for an answer

This actually 🤣

It really is no ones business but yours!

A friend got to the bar early and collared the staff, told them she was going to order vodka and tonics all night and she was to only get tonics. Worked a treat plus no one paid much attention after the first couple of rounds.

Buddy system works a treat but a bit high end for the buddy if they're the type to just keep forgetting and emptying a glass (this would be me).

Depends on your working environment - if people are likely to start ordering rounds of shots I'd just call in sick with Covid symptoms.

First time around my friends twigged immediately. I've never ordered a non alcoholic drink in my life. Second time around I just said I was trying and everyone left it well enough alone.

Got anything important the next morning? Driving test, MOT, dentist, taking parent to hospital apt before work? That you forgot all about obvs and left it too late to rearrange.

Go and go to the bar and get your own drink initially
Just get a tonic. Tell people its a gin and tonic.

Then at the meal get a second one and say you are just having a tonic as you want to pace yourself.

After that everyone is too pissed to notice.

The other trick I do is to go early and do @TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

You are not supposed to drink after your covid jabs!?

In my experience at a party like that, no one will be paying attention to what you drink. Just nurse a glass of something, pretend to take sips is necessary and when the opportunity arises substitute it with something non alcoholic that looks alcoholic.
It seems much more obvious to ourselves but generally people really aren't scrutinising you that heavily! When they say they want to get drinks, they mean spend time together, not monitor what you're drinking!
I managed to get away with non alcoholic drinks at my 30th birthday party in front of friend who knew I was trying for a baby, people really don't notice & once they've all had a few drinks you'll be totally in the clear.

I went to a wedding at 7 weeks and out of respect to the bride didn't want anyone to know or suspect.

I drove - thankfully it was out in the country so not a totally random thing to do.

Then I got a glass of champagne with the toast and put it to my mouth now and then, nursed that thing all night long.

In my experience if you don't call attention to you not drinking no one notices.

Becks blue in a glass.
Tell staff member to make lemonade look fancy in a gin glass.

These worked for my first pregnancy. I'm going to have to do the same on Saturday so wish me luck! It's my husbands Xmas do and our friendship group all happen to work together too so it's gonna be hard!

To be honest even if someone does guess they shouldn't be pointing it out or asking you about it.

Tonic in a gin glass with ice and a slice.

Everything you have all said makes total sense.
Thank you...
I did contemplate driving but it's a few hours away unfortunately so I don't fancy it, especially with all the high winds etc.

You're all absolutely right it is no one's business (but you know how people can be) but also once they've had a few drinks they won't notice.

I think I'll order one, nurse it but have that chat with the bar staff.

Thanks so much... I am probably over worrying because it's my first. I'll feel so much better when it's no longer a secret and when I've had first scan as I worry all the time, unnecessarily!

Thanks again and hope you all enjoy your parties and Christmas' when it comes xx

I think parties may be easier to hide than meals.

I’ve got one with old work colleagues this week and my old boss usually always orders rounds for everyone.
Luckily, I booked the restaurant so I’m going to call in advance and see if they can make my G&T’s with Seedlip, so it looks and smells like a g&t but non-alcoholic.

I’ve also got a wedding later on which my husband and I have agreed that he’ll drink any of my drinks then get me non-alcoholic drinks from the bar.

I was hiding my pregnancy on my wedding reception (different month to the ceremony cos of Covid) and ordered mocktails. No one knew any different, one friend actually asked for a sip and told me it was lethal 😂😂 it really wasn’t, it was just juice, lemonade and fruit in a gin balloon!

Yes the problem with this party is it's a meal, so the orders will be given at the table, otherwise I would just order something non alcoholic from the bar.... I am sure it will all be fine. I guess like someone said not to make a big deal. I'm probably more anxious than I need to be!! I can't wait for it not to be a secret!

Hey @Pickle0901 I’ve just come back from a Christmas meal and I managed to nearly get away with it disguising my non-drinking until the very, very end.

I called the restaurant in advance and explained that I’m pregnant and if my boss orders me a G&T, can it just be a tonic. They were so, so understanding and helpful, but had a good range of mocktails, so it went unnoticed.

We then went onto another bar and i was asked what I wanted, so asked for a soft drink which resulted in one person asking point blank if I’m pregnant 🤦🏽‍♀️
I did say I’ve got a few big nights coming up, so trying to cut back where I can which seemed to be accepted.

I honestly don’t know why people ask if you are pregnant! Madness.