Please could I have some advice on ways to manage anxiety in pregnancy?

[SantiagoSister]

Hi all, just after some advice on things you found useful to help reduce anxiety in pregnancy. I’m only very early on (5 weeks) but due to a very late loss of my first baby I am now feeling really anxious every day. I feel paranoid about everything, and want to constantly make sure I’m not doing anything to harm this baby, worrying about all sorts. Any helpful tips or advice to help me chill out a bit please? Thanks.

No advice but absolute solidarity. I’m 7wks after 5yrs and 5 rounds of IVF, a couple of very early losses - had a massive bleed around a week ago and have been dx with a big SCH. I’m terrified that we’ve made it this far and it could go. I’m trying to stay away from Google (easier said that done) and try to think of it in the hands of nature at the moment. I really feel for you and I hope that it goes super smoothly for you.

@MollieTD, thanks so much for posting, it’s reassuring to know there’s others out there that feel it too. What a journey you’ve had to get to where you are now, I really feel for you and I can completely understand why you would feel so anxious. I have everything crossed that this is your time now, you deserve a break after all you’ve been through. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to vent.

It’s really common
And I think the media portray it as all blooming and joyous when really it’s an anxious nerve wracking time.

I found this really helpful
datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Do NOT google stuff if you can resist and if it’s all a bit much an early scan may help.
I ended up doing an early reassurance scan (my anxiety was through the roof it really helped)
But didn’t go for NIPT or harmony as I thought it would increase my anxiety (as not conclusive)

I am 27 weeks now and starting to calm down (a bit) 😅 now

@Totalwasteofpaper yes that miscarriage risk calculator is great! Early scan reassured me for a couple of days but every time I had a day with slightly lessened symptoms I panic again. @SantiagoSister thank you - same for you! I hope it’s as uneventful as it can be. I’m sure anxiety is normal, particularly given histories - look after yourself.

Thanks for that link @Totalwasteofpaper, that’s so helpful and reassuring. I think the advice to not google is good, I do tend to feel so much more anxious after I’ve googled!! I get really annoyed with myself and try to think of all the healthy babies born every year to mothers who never changed a thing while pregnant, and cut myself some slack!!

Thank you both for posting, much appreciated! Wishing you both a nice smooth, uneventful next few months! Best of luck.

Sending you best wishes in your pregnancy. I lost my first pregnancy at 19 weeks last year. Now I am typing this one handed - my newborn baby is asleep in my other arm. I was anxious throughout my second pregnancy and I don't have any magic cures for it but I did find mindfulness helpful plus I was lucky and had one or two weekly scans as I live abroad but I think you could ask for more monitoring or even pay for extra scans if you feel it would reassure you.

So sorry to hear of your loss @Onaloop, it’s just awful isn’t it, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Congratulations on having your lovely little rainbow baby, what great news. I hope I can follow on in your footsteps. I have been recommended a pregnancy after loss app which has some mindfulness on it I believe, I will download that and take a look. Thank you for your advice, I will also look into extra scans for reassurance.

I’ve had awful anxiety the whole way through my pregnancy, which was been a shock since I have never really suffered from it before. I thought it would get better as I got further along but it seems to have only got worse and really struggling now as I’m 25 weeks and supposed to be feeling lots of movements but baby is very random in when she’ll move around. I have no reason to worry either as it’s my first pregnancy and all scans etc have been fine; it just feels totally irrational and illogical but of course that doesn’t stop it. At my worst times, I’m totally convinced that there won’t be a baby and I’m just waiting to lose her.

I spoke to a midwife yesterday and she was great; straight away referred me to a local counselling provision. I’m now signed up for CBT, a pregnancy mindfulness group and support sessions to help prepare for the anxiety that will inevitably come when baby is here. It was all fast tracked due to being pregnant and free. I’m so glad I spoke out (something that I’m not usually very good at). Definitely speak to your midwife or GP if you feel you need support - and push for it. The midwife kept saying it was normal until I burst out crying and then realised how it was affecting me.

I’ve also signed up for pregnancy yoga, which I think is for later on but it’s still a positive step forward in me finding ways to relax.

Sorry hear you’re also suffering @FindTheSilverLining 😔 you sound very similar to me and my thoughts in my previous pregnancy. Everything is such a worry. Well done for speaking out, that’s sometimes the hardest bit isn’t it. I think I will mention it to my midwife at my first appointment, and see what can be offered to me. I would accept any help, because of course, I’m also worrying that my worrying will now affect the baby. It’s a never ending vicious circle 😖

Hey I've had 4 MCs and currently into my 6th week with this new pregnancy. I've found comfort this time in regular early scans.. from 5 weeks 3. I'm only leaving 3-4 days in between them, so I don't feel anxious with the unknowing for long. I think I'll keep this up until 12 weeks, but appreciate there's a cost involved in this approach. Worth every penny for me, as I totally relate to the anxiety xx

Sorry to hear of your losses @Rachae 😔 congratulations on your current pregnancy. I am glad you are finding some comfort in your regular scans. I think you just have to do whatever it is that gets you through the worry, and find comfort in anything that helps. Thanks for replying x

It's so hard, I am also five weeks after a miscarriage in my first pregnancy. The statistics being on my side does help for things going well this time but its hard to imagine when the only experience so far has been loss.

I have found this book really helpful so far

smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/1409195945/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_D2RGGVM9ADJ04JXF79W8

@fineappleglasgow I’m so sorry for your loss. What you said there really resonated with me, because our only experience has been loss, it’s hard to imagine things going well. That is so true for me also. Thank you for the book recommendation, it looks great and I’ve just added it to my basket. Wishing you lots of luck this time, I hope this is our time now.

Hi, I am 23 weeks today after 8 years of trying and 5 ivfs. I am also suffering with horrible anxiety which is very new to me and struggle to keep it under control. I literally count down every single day. So far I had scans every two weeks which were very helpful. I am not sure there is any cure for it. I wish there was. I tried mindfulness, walks, praying and nothing really works for me. I believe the hormones are playing a role in this. I spoke to two different psychologist who advised me to keep occupied so that I don’t spend time ruminating. They also said that, after such an awful journey it is totally normal that I feel this way. I do wish you all the best with your pregnancy xx

You could try this technique. Allocate yourself a certain amount of time every morning, 10 mins - 30 mins, where you allow yourself to think about everything that makes you anxious. Worry your heart out during that time a lot (still no googling though!). Mark the end of the slot with something nice. A walk, or a cup of tea, a call to a good friend, an episode of your favourite programme. During the rest of the day, whenever your mind wanders and you start feeling anxious, be disciplined and save that thought for the following morning's slot. It takes lots of work, and mental discipline, and doesn't work immediately, but the idea is that aside from the dedicated worry slot, you can enjoy your day.

Love and good luck to everyone on this thread. You're all strong women to have got through everything you have done, and this too shall pass.

Thank you so much for your comments @Ania89 and @Dunnowhatalltheacronymsmean, they are so helpful. I definitely agree that keeping occupied will help me, when I’m busy I tend to find that my mind doesn’t wander as much to all the what-ifs. And I like the idea of the allocated worry time too, I would have to try hard to stop the thoughts for the rest of the day too, but I will give this a go. At least I might be able to get on with my day after I’ve had my worried thoughts. Thank you all so much for taking the time to share these tips, I really wish all of you the best of luck ❤️