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Original poster

Please help

12 replies

new2mn12 · 01/12/2021 23:25

I don't know where to start really. My due date is a few weeks away and I just feel such a sense of doom

Like my life is ending not beginning like so many people say it will do

I'm so scared to become a mum and I look back and think about how I'm not ready and how bad I feel for this baby getting me as a mother. I'm going to be absolutely awful and I should never have gotten pregnant

The guilt I feel for saying that is unbelievable but I wonder why I ever thought I could do this. No one has anything positive to say about having a baby everyone just reminds you how shit life is about to get

I feel so upset and alone with this. I can't tell anyone I'll be judged so much and I don't really have any friends etc. Which scares me even more

I only have my partner and some family. I can't exactly tell them how I feel as they're all so excited for this baby

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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bluejelly · 01/12/2021 23:29

Aw new things are scary, change is scary, but I promise you have nothing to feel guilty about, it's ok to feel anxious and it will all turn out fine Thanks

bluejelly · 01/12/2021 23:30

Is it worth having maybe a few counselling sessions to talk through your fears? The more you talk about them, the smaller they will feel

shabbadababa · 01/12/2021 23:30

Hey girl , first of all do you mind me asking your age? Only because you sound alot like me when I had my first. She's 5 in April. I had her at 20 , 19 when pregnant. I had the most awful depression thinking I was going to be so awful as a mother just genuinely unhappy about it. Cried alot at the end too terrified of how I would be after having her. But when I did all them feelings and worrries went right away and it really enjoyed it! These blues don't last forever just till you see what you created and carried darling x

Original poster
new2mn12 · 01/12/2021 23:44

@shabbadababa

Hey girl , first of all do you mind me asking your age? Only because you sound alot like me when I had my first. She's 5 in April. I had her at 20 , 19 when pregnant. I had the most awful depression thinking I was going to be so awful as a mother just genuinely unhappy about it. Cried alot at the end too terrified of how I would be after having her. But when I did all them feelings and worrries went right away and it really enjoyed it! These blues don't last forever just till you see what you created and carried darling x
I'm 22.

I'm glad to hear this because right now all I can sit and think is what have I done :(

OP posts:
Original poster
new2mn12 · 01/12/2021 23:45

@bluejelly

Is it worth having maybe a few counselling sessions to talk through your fears? The more you talk about them, the smaller they will feel
How would I go about this?

I haven't mentioned the extent of what I'm feeling to my partner I don't want to upset him and I haven't to my midwife as my partner attends those appointments with me

OP posts:
Crazydoglady123 · 01/12/2021 23:55

OP could you maybe call you midwife to talk on the phone? I had my DS at a similar age to me and I too had a lot of worries but when he was born my love for him only grew and now at the age of 10 he's more fun than my OH 😂

NinaJames · 02/12/2021 08:57

I felt like this with my DD 10 years ago!!! I was 17 when I fell pregnant, and 18 when I had her. I kept thinking "what have I done" as I had to drop out of A-Levels and was constantly being judged by my peers and had no support from my family (the dads family were brill - although did judge me I think!!!). Anyway, fast forward 10 years and I've made it in the career I wanted to (law) and I wouldn't change my beautiful daughter for the world - honestly she's the best. Hang in there xxx

shabbadababa · 02/12/2021 13:52

I'm now 25. And it's totally normal, I felt like I wasn't good enough I cried every day from this but honestly in the end i thought why did I feel like that because I'm so happy now !!

Ceilia · 02/12/2021 14:01

Congrats on your pregnancy OP. I am sure you will chose the right thing for you and everything will turn out absolutely fine xx. I agree with the naggers I've things people have to say like 'enjoy your sleep whilst you can'!!

My Husband is feeling the gloom also, can't shake him out of it and I just keep reminding him everything will be fine...

Derbee · 02/12/2021 15:23

I haven't mentioned the extent of what I'm feeling to my partner I don't want to upset him and I haven't to my midwife as my partner attends those appointments with me

Can you go to an appointment on your own? My midwife appointments are strictly no partners, as they like to be able to speak freely to women, some of whom wouldn’t feel as comfortable with their partners there.

I feel a bit sorry for my partner not coming, but overall, for the women who need private appointments, I’m happy to keep it a safe space for women to share their feelings with their midwife without worrying about upsetting anyone else

Original poster
new2mn12 · 02/12/2021 15:47

@Derbee

I haven't mentioned the extent of what I'm feeling to my partner I don't want to upset him and I haven't to my midwife as my partner attends those appointments with me

Can you go to an appointment on your own? My midwife appointments are strictly no partners, as they like to be able to speak freely to women, some of whom wouldn’t feel as comfortable with their partners there.

I feel a bit sorry for my partner not coming, but overall, for the women who need private appointments, I’m happy to keep it a safe space for women to share their feelings with their midwife without worrying about upsetting anyone else

I can do! It's not that I feel uncomfortable expressing my feelings with him - I do tell him everything he's my best friend

But due to these feelings I don't want to upset him and make him worry he's already constantly trying to make sure I'm okay (which I appreciate and understand! But I feel these thoughts might make him sad)

It's not that I can't express this in front of him, it's just I've chose not to as I don't want him upset or worried

OP posts:
Derbee · 02/12/2021 15:52

It's not that I can't express this in front of him, it's just I've chose not to as I don't want him upset or worried

Whatever the reason for not wanting to say things in front of him, it might benefit you to have an appointment without him?

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