Maternity leave - does anyone else hate it?

[Sarahjct]

Sitting here feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. I'm just starting my 3rd week of maternity leave and I really hate it (37 weeks). I was glad to give up work as I had a long commute and my job was pretty stressy at times but the thought of being here on my own for the next year is torture.

DH had a couple of days off at the end of last week and it was really nice but now he's gone back to work it's worse and I'm dreading how it will be after Christmas when everyone goes back for good.

I know that the baby will take all my concentration and I won't have time to feel sorry for myself but I've been a nanny and, although I know it's bound to be different with your own, I also know how much I hated being stuck indoors then. I know I could go back to work earlier but, financially we'd be worse off if I did so I'm sort of tied to the year.

I'm also peed off because I found out at the weekend that DH has gone against what we decided and told his entire family what name we have picked and his sister is telling all and sundry. Although it seems trivial, I feel like one of the nice bits has been taken away from me and I've lost control of it a bit. I wouldn't mind but he did exactly the same thing over the summer when we thought we were having a boy and it caused an almighty row then. He had a reprieve when the scans showed a girl but he's done it again.

Sorry, I know this is a waffly post but I just didn't expect to feel this miserable.

LOL I am trying to be more positive. I've worked out that it's worse at this time of the morning when DH has gone off to work and I'm feeling guilty because I'm not working, a bit abandoned and the day is stretching ahead of me.

Thanks for all the advice and suggestions everyone. I've been too independent for too long and it's a hard habit to break!

I'm really glad this thread is here!! I finish work tomorrow and am a bit daunted by the prospect of all this time at home. This is my 2nd baby and I got a bit depressed last time and am just feeling a bit anxious about it all!

No such thing as too independent. I enjoyed the first 2 weeks of maternity leave and hated, hated, hated weeks 3 and 4. Felt lonely, isolated, useless, all those things. The trouble with that is that it makes you very eager for intervention if you go over your due date. This is to be resisted! (though not against medical advice of course).

Do follow up on the antenatal group - grit your teeth and just do it. Also don't forget that you can start turning up at postnatal NCT get togethers. I did this, at this time of year, and unfortunately due to Christmas it was only me and the hostess!! I didn't take to her enormously at that time but she is actually lovely and we are still friends 4 years later.

I resisted packing hospital bag as I thought I wouldn't have to go through labour if I did, but in fact it would be a good idea, though I bet you are more organised than me and have already done it.

Have you found out all the sources of breastfeeding support, if you are planning to? Why not go along to a few of those groups too? I wish I had.

I absolutely hated maternity leave before the babies were born. I worked up to the due date to avoid it but two of mine were quite late so I still had time to be bored and miserable. If you hate pregnancy what can you do at 40+ weeks? Too large and uncomfortable to enjoy anything or be active, and I don't like being inactive.

And I missed my friends and the buzz of going to work too. especially the first time when I didn't know anyone who wasn't at work.

it was better once they were born, much better.

I hated not being on maternity leave when I felt I had to work (DH and I run our own business) but now work commitments mean that my leave has actually started, I'm bored!

At 38+ weeks I can manage short outings but anything more than half an hour or an hour on my feet and I ache like mad the next day.

I understand the people who suggest getting out, being active and doing useful things like cooking, but I've just found those things too much to handle!

And I forgot to get the meat out of the freezer for dinner, so DH is taking me out (thank god!)

Roll on labour - I don't mind if it starts in the middle of dinner!

Get into all those kitchen cupboards and sort them out, clean things that usually get missed cuz your normally too busy, sort out and paint the nursery, try preparing and cooking meals u dont normally have time to cook, enjoy the peace whilst it lasts.....

hi sarah, sorry to hear you're feeling a bit blue.

sounds like you're projecting all of this forward a bit. it just takes a bit of cabin-fever now to assume that you'll have cabin fever forever... no reason to think that'll be the case - so try not to add extra things to your To Worry About List.

i confess i've had similar thoughts. i found work v v stressful the last few years and, like you, had a long commnute and was itching to stop.

now i'm worried my DH will start finding housebound me really dull, that i'll start cramping him now that he's my main point of contact with the outside world! i've been off for 3 weeks now, but he's been off with me til yesterday. he used to get in a couple of hours earlier than me and yesterday i was felt guilty for stealing his alone time....

people think i'm crazy, but i've enrolled in a 12 week evening class at the local uni which starts in April (baby due feb). really really looking forward to it - doesnt matter that i may be too rubbish and tired to do it properly, its just something to look forward to. also, i've tracked down a couple of mother and baby yoga classes in area that i can do from newborn. finally - and i'll prob hate this - but there are BuggyFit groups that run near me that i'm going to try. crazy ladies running round parks in a bid to get into shape. sounds truly nuts --- but a collective nutsness got to be better than solitary nutness.

finally --- phil and fern! mumsnet! re-runs of scrubs and frasier.... duvet onm sofa.....

gl.